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Re: Living in the past

@Lan-RO thats a good answer i love the gothic style tattoos im into that stuff Smiley Happy 


Re: Living in the past

@Nightruner23 awesome Smiley Happy

Re: Living in the past

Hi @shio!
I just wanted to start off by saying that I think it was really selfless and thoughtful for you to provide support for others on this thread when you have things that have been on your mind! It was so nice to see this kind of support.
Secondly, you definitely have a way with words! I wish I could describe things as well as you do!
You're definitely so welcome here on RO and I hope that you find you are able to find support and some form of comfort.
I'm glad that you have your work! I've definitely related to this in my lifetime. I sometimes have felt as though I am too picky and am very selective of who I have in my inner circle. I'm glad that you have a number of people you consider as friends though Smiley Happy

Re: Living in the past

Thanks, @missep! I suppose I've always been a little better with other people's problems than I have my own haha. I'd probably be fine if I could take my own advice every now and then Smiley LOL


And thanks again! My words are my pride, so this is always wonderful to hear Smiley Happy


I myself worry that I'm too selective in my friendships, but I think it's just necessary for me. I get burnt out really easily by socialising with someone who isn't completely on the same wavelength--which is to say the great majority of people, unfortunately! Perhaps it's similar for you?


Without that special 'something' in common, more often than not it's just stressful and hard work. Even when I'm with them I still feel alone and, as is essentially the root of my unhappiness, those are really the only kinds of people I've had around me for a long time now.


I swear, it's almost like I'm a different species. It's as much a blessing as it is a curse I suppose, though it becomes difficult to see it that way after extended periods of being 'alone' (if not in a literal sense).


Terrible shame that those who fit the bill are so hard to come by!

Re: Living in the past

Hello @shio


Sorry for the late reply. 


People shouldn't compare, at all, in my opinion. When we compare ourselves to anything, we will get sad. That's just what happens, even when we compare ourselves in the present to the past. Don't emulate the past, create the present. 


I'm sorry about your friends. It's great that you're putting yourself out there and looking for friends. I admire that you have taken the initiative, I know that can be very hard to do. Maybe you're looking in the wrong places? Like you won't find an introvert at a dance club or an extrovert at a library. 


Re: Living in the past

Thanks @LeoTheLion Smiley Happy Regarding comparison, I agree completely. I hadn't even thought of it in terms of comparing my past and present selves - that's a really interesting perspective, so thanks again.


It definitely isn't easy, and you're right to say that I'm probably not giving myself the best chance with the avenues I've been taking; they're just the ones that are readily available, and not necessarily in the right places.


That said, I'm at a bit of a loss as to what the right places might be. Approaching anyone cold anywhere doesn't even feel like an option to me, so I've been trying to look to my hobbies for a group activity... to not much avail. I've often heard libraries come up in discussions like this: do people really meet in libraries? It's an appealing thought but it always seemed like an inherently solo activity haha. I suppose the odds are better there than at home.

Re: Living in the past

Now I don't know much about this at all @shio but have you looked into Meetup?  You can meetup with people with similar interests or you can create your own meetup group. I saw a Meetup group when I was out the other weekend. It looked like people were having a good time!


Re: Living in the past

The right places are the places you enjoy @shio because whoever you meet there, you two will already have a common interest. Like minded people tend to be easier to get along so like people have already suggested hobbies etc. 


No to the library thing, that was just me trying to explain my point more clearly haha. People at libraries often have a purpose to be there, like studying or whatever so it's not great to disturb them. However a quiet coffee shop is much more of a 'social' place where people are more likely to engage in a conversation.

Re: Living in the past

Looks promising, @Erin-RO!


I'll have a look for an appropriate group and let you know if I have any success Smiley Happy

Re: Living in the past


What type of group are yoj goinf to join Smiley Happy