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Living up to people's expectations

Hello everyone, sorry if I wasn't replying to previous messages but I had my phone stolen. That's just adding to the problems I'm facing right now. I'm trying hard in school and going into year 12 next year is daunting. Making it worse is my dad putting me in a state where it's impossible for me to actually be happy after he looks at my work and says it's never good enough even though I take his advice. I've tried using the school as a way to communicate to my dad about the stress and depression I've had for who knows how long now but it's colminating into the thoughts of what my future may be and how I take things at my own pace and can't imrove quick enough for my dad to see I'm trying. Just today I received a message about me doing a redemption task for some work I have but that tells my dad how "I'm not trying." I don't know what to think anymore.

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Re: Living up to people's expectations

Hey @Jeplar, no need to apologise about not responding, life gets busy! Sorry to hear about the theft, that can really complicate things a whole lot more. Just so I understand, are you saying that your attempts to let your dad know how things have been affecting you has resulted in him thinking you don't try hard enough and doubt your future? That must be really tough to feel so misunderstood and hurt by someone so close to you. It sounds like there isn't a lot of recognition of your emotional struggle. What has been helping you get through the depression and stress?

Can you please tell us a little more about the redemption task? Is that set by your dad or the school? What is the purpose of it?
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Re: Living up to people's expectations

@Taylor-RO

 

The redemption task is for school as I failed a test, it's to assure I know what the test was about and I can answer correctly. I have a week to go over all the information in the test and I've planned a lunch time meeting with my teacher to help me

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Re: Living up to people's expectations

That is great that you have another chance to show your knowledge @Jeplar. It is really proactive of you to seek help from the teacher in your lunch break. Is this something that is concerning you at the moment? Just because you failed a test, it doesn't mean you aren't trying really hard. It sounds like to me that you are putting in a lot of effort at school! 

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Re: Living up to people's expectations

@Taylor-RO

I try my best at school but also want to have my own activities outside of school and as long as I get work done and pass, I'm fine. My dad believes that just because my focus isnt entirely on school and the failure of one test 'proves his point' that I should focus only on school.
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Re: Living up to people's expectations

Everyone definitely has different standards for school @Jeplar and I think it is completely understandable and normal to want to have activities outside of school. This is particularly important when school and daily life is stressful - we need to have a way to develop our own self-care and personal interests. Is there anyone in your life who could help your dad to see it from your point of view?