Loneliness

[keezeik]

Hello, so I was just wondering how do you guys overcome loneliness? I don't really have any friends, and now that I am currently on holidays it's kind of difficult to overcome that feeling....I try and make myself busy with volunteering and stuff if you guys have any helpful tips that would be good  

[Jardin]

Hey @keezeik , feeling lonely is pretty rough

I often feel lonely too- I have lived in big cities my whole life until a few years ago when I moved to a rural area. Theres no public transport nearby and I don't have my Ps yet so I often am left at home and feel a bit trapped and isolated. When I do feel lonely, it helps when I do some of things I have written below. Its also good to remind myself that it won't last forever- I am almost done high school and will eventually be able to leave home. 

So here has what has helped me:

- doing a favourite hobby of mine (e.g. drawing, playing a musical instrument)

- watching a something funny that will make you laugh (for some reason I really like watching live news fails on youtube )

- hanging out with one of my family members, maybe watching something with them or going to the gym/cafe/shops with them

- going on forums/chats (like this one)

- reading a good book (or visiting a library to get some good books)

- joining a club/group (e.g. I joined a ceramics club a few years ago- it was heaps of fun and I met some awesome people)

I hope that some of these will help you too  

[N1ghtW1ng]

Hey there @keezeik,
Loneliness can be a terrible feeling to deal with, especially on the holidays when there's nothing to do. It's awesome that you're trying to keep yourself busy. How is volunteering going?

@Jardin has suggested some awesome things below, do any of them catch your eye?

[keezeik]

@Jardinthank you, yeah mostly I try and go out and do stuff with family, or on my own which is fine. I’ll also keep those other things in mind too ❣️

I’ve tried to be fairly busy just by doing some courses in preparation for my study abroad so that’s been quite busy too. @N1ghtW1ng it’s been really good, thank you I do it twice a week - the only issue is sometimes I’ll just be feeling down all of a sudden, and there’s nothing I really can do about it.....I think the only really positive thing is that I will be going on study abroad and meeting lots of new people.

But there’s the anxiety that you may not actually make any friends over there either. But at the end of the day you can’t tell the future so who knows, you just have to put yourself out there even if you have been burnt many times by trying to
make friends.....( I have really bad social anxiety 😬😑)

[N1ghtW1ng]

Studying abroad @keezeik??? That's amazing! Is it through uni? It sounds wonderful! My friend recently studied abroad for a year and she told me how great it was. I totally understand the struggle of making new friends. My best advice for social anxiety is to "fake it till you make it". It can be really nerve-wracking trying to meet new people and make new friends but you can do it! I believe in you

When you're feeling down, what do you usually do? Sometimes we can feel down for no reason, which can be annoying for sure. Maybe you could try one of the activities @Jardin suggested the next time it happens? What do you think?

[keezeik]

Kind of, it's more of an independent study (my uni doesn't have a partnership with it) - aw thank you I will keep that in mind yeah, I will definitely give those ideas a go, I guess just watching something funny or read a book or similar like @Jardin suggested . I Have tried some clubs before, and have met people which has been cool, but that was a while ago aha (through uni) - I'll definitely think of some more thank you both for your helps  

[Jardin]

No problem @keezeik glad to help  
I think studying abroad sounds awesome!! I am hoping to doing something like that in the future.

I have to say that what @N1ghtW1ng has suggested is so true. I often pretend that I am a lot more confident than I actually am (especially around big groups of people).
Also pretending that your nerves are actually excitement works too- the human body can mix these two things up. So when I feel nervous for something I just tell myself that I'm super excited and everything feels a lot better.
I'm sure you will make some wonderful friends abroad. It is so interesting to hear from people living in completely different counties!

[letitgo]

Hey @keezeik. I hear you - loneliness really sucks.

I see that @N1ghtW1ng and @Jardin have given you some great advice. Similar to what they've said about 'fake it til you make it,' I try to 'take action and wait for my heart to catch up.' Which is essentially the same thing, except I'm not good at faking my feelings at all, so it helps me to reframe it like that. Just thought it might help you too

[keezeik]

@letitgo yeah that’s true ☺️ Thank you - I think it’s also mostly just distracting yourself or keeping yourself busy which helps prevent loneliness, and the good thing is maybe you’ll meet those people. But it’s definitely hard to do when you’ve always had trouble making friends etc. I think I’m fine with that for now, but it’s just hard when you feel down - and you have to get yourself out of it. I’m fine now, but I’m just thinking more about what I should do if that were to happen again. - I’ll have a look at more of the pages in these forums for more ideas 😇

[Bree-RO]

Definitely keep browsing around the ReachOut articles @keezeik  But know that this community is here if ever you need to talk