Loneliness

[scared01]

hey @keezeik
hlidays cna be so hard and bring on even more lonliness, i experince this too. how are the holidays treating you? have you managed to do some things to curb the lonliness?

[keezeik]

Well, I have been fairly busy with preparation for university overseas which has mostly been taking much of my time mostly haha, but I guess also going to the gym a lot...

[letitgo]

That's good to hear @keezeik - what are the other people at your gym like?

[lokifish]

@keezeik there's good evidence to suggest that exercise is a really powerful way to keep our emotions in check - so the gym is a great idea!

When do you leave for uni?

[keezeik]

I haven't really spoken to anyone there, because most people are either a lot older and stuff like that. But I mostly do the classes or go swimming so it's pretty solitary but it's a good way to have mindfullness - Do you go to similar sort of classes and interact with other people?

[keezeik]

haha yeah definitely true, I am leaving in a month's time, I think it's just scary in some senses because in some ways I will be able to start new, but in others it's scary because I feel like it'll be the same in the sense that I won't be really good with socialising and stuff (I have bad social anxiety and I am constantly and currently getting help and stuff so that really helps), but when you've always had trouble with making friends it's kind of hard to trust people or make a friendship... I am trying this new thing where I think about a fork in a road when making decisions. Like for example do I go out tonight and meet new people or do I stay at home - but I could be tired so I might stay home etc - so hopefully that'll help. I could just be overanalysing it tbh

[lokifish]

@keezeik I've been meaning to get back into swimming for a while. Maybe your post will give me some inspiration to do it

That's a great analogy about the fork in the road! I also have a lot of anxiety and so tend to use a similar strategy too

[keezeik]

@lokifish let me know how your swimming goes what sort of strategies do you use? just out of curiosity?

[lokifish]

@keezeik I have a lot of issues with perfectionism and decision making, so I've spent time with my psychologist figuring out a kind of 'blueprint' for making decisions. Basically:

- What are my options?
- What are the likely consequences of these options? (both positive and negative)
- Based on these, pick one (I find this a *really* hard step... so sometimes I'll assign the options numbers and then roll a dice or something to choose )
- Check in with myself after a period of time to see how the choice is working, and re-evaluate as needed

It sounds really basic but I find it helpful to have structured prompts to help me

[keezeik]

That’s a good strategy to have, i guess it also helps to take yourself outside of your comfort zone and try new things