Loneliness

[scared01]

oh trusting is such a tricky thing @keezeik
Let me tag @DruidChild @Bee @N1ghtW1ng they might be able to help too.

i find it very hard to trust and some people can have a very deceptive personality. i guess its abit of touch and go for a while. so like meet them and hang around but be careful about what i say, say only what needs to be said and keep the topics light. i found that one sign of trust is that they share a problem with you but also give you the opportunity to talk about your problem too.

[DruidChild]

Thanks for the tag @scared01!  

Hey @keezeik  I find trusting people quite hard, too. If it's a specific person, something I've used in the past that's been helpful has been to make a list of times the person has been kind to me, or reasons why I care about them. 

This article could be helpful! 5-steps-to-talking-to-someone-you-trust  or this video - a-gazillion-ways-to-make-new-friends

Would anyone in your family have advice on making friends and trusting others? Sometimes people like parents or grandparents have more wisdom than we think they do  

Something like this healthy relationships wheel could also help you to identify when relationships are healthy and you CAN trust the other person, versus situations like with your old friend, where the other person is acting in unhealthy ways towards you. (Not all the parts of the wheel will necessarily apply to you). 

[keezeik]

@DruidChild those links are really helpful, thank you - I will probably doing university full time next year as this year I did part time uni as well as trying to find work, and it caused me to go through a depression, thus the reason I became lonely :/ . I haven't been able to find work as a result of my disabilities and also every time I've gone for a trial, they haven't paid me for my trial etc - I can't do anything about it now because it's been a while, but it's good that I know my rights now.

As I was saying I think next year I shall be getting more involved in clubs and societies, as well as try and see if I can join a sports team. But I've always struggled with to find a balance between socialising and university work. I find myself just doing uni work the whole time because of my learning disability. This kind of impacts on my anxiety and it goes full circle

[DruidChild]

Hey @keezeik, I agree that finding work while disabled is super difficult, and workplaces often exploit us because they know they can get away with it :/ I'm sorry you had to go through that.

It can be challenging to find the balance! Are you connected with your uni's disability services or counselling? I found connecting with them helped me manage the work side of uni better. What kinds of clubs and societies are you interested in joining?  

[keezeik]

I have seen the same psychologist since I was 13, so I have been working over my social skills for many years now which is good. I'm not sure if I can recommend it on here, but I also spoke to this disability service for jobs where I live, and they have stated that they would be able to help me find work. That being said because I will be full time studying at university as well as volunteering I wouldn't be able to do extra work - it would be too much.

I am also linked with the unis disability service in the sense that I get extra time for exams as such. I currently go to two different unis (I do both unis part time), and one university has a limited amount of clubs and societies, so I haven't really joined that one. But I will only be at my second university for one more year, and then I will be finished with that degree, it as multitudes of clubs and societies so I will probably choose any clubs and societies from there. I will most likely try out the book society and German society since this year I wasn't able as it clashed with my uni courses, but I will check out more on open day next year.......

[DruidChild]

@keezeik it's great to hear that you've been seeing your psychologist for so long, do you find them helpful? It sounds like you're very busy, between full time uni and volunteering!! I've heard that staying busy can be helpful in recovering from depression. Is volunteering an option for making connections and new friendships, too? 

Cool, those societies sound good What are you studying at the moment? 

[keezeik]

@DruidChild Yeah they're really good. Yeah I am quite, but I definitely agree, keeping busy prevents being depressive or lonely in most cases. Unfortunately I haven't met a lot of people around my age at volunteering, most of the volunteers where I work at are well into their 60s or 70s, but I have met the odd person whose around my age or so. I have actually once asked for their facebook, but they never added me so yeah.....

I'm currently doing a bachelor of arts and also studying German

[DruidChild]

Mm when I was volunteering a few years ago I found the same thing @keezeik. I think it's great that you were able to ask someone for their facebook - even though it didn't work out that time, it's really good practice for trying again. Well done  

Those both sound really interesting! How are you finding them so far? 

[keezeik]

@DruidChild Thank you it was definitely coming out of my comfort zone to do that, but I definitely agree the more you practice the better you become.

They're really good, the uni where I do my bachelor's degree is quite small, but I really like it because it's really supportive if you have any sort of disabilities which is nice. The second uni where I study German is unfortunately very academic so it's not as helpful if you have a disability, or in general admin isn't so great there. I think even 'normal' people who go there find it not that great tbh

[DruidChild]

For sure @keezeik, practice makes perfect How are you doing today, am I right in thinking you're with family at the moment? 

A supportive uni sounds really helpful! It sucks that the other one isnt as good. It sounds like between two uni courses and volunteering and possibly some clubs, you have a lot of interests and passions!