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Loneliness

So my boyfriend just left for two weeks for a camp. I've been with him for almost.two years and without him here i don't even remember who i am on my own
I've been crying for the last 3 hours and i feel so alone and hurt and sad. I know he's coming back but i just don't know how to deal in this time without him here

Re: Loneliness

Hey @Red15V Smiley Happy

 

I'm sorry to hear how sad and alone you feel right now - being away from someone you love can be so heartwrenching, especially when you've been with that person for so long. 

Can you think of activities or people that could take your mind off your boyfriend for a while? This could be a great time to make plans with friends, or just have them come over so you feel less lonely.

Also, just because your boyfriend is away at camp, doesn't necessarily mean you can't ever contact him - do you know if you can contact him in some way? Even if its for a certain amount of time, you don't have to be without contact for the entire two weeks.

What do you think?

Re: Loneliness

Hes allowed limited contact. He's on a promotion course so if he gets caught with his phone he'll get into trouble
He deals with it so much easier.. i just don't know how to

Re: Loneliness

It can seem difficult to cope, especially if its the first time you've ever been away from your boyfriend, but perhaps distracting yourself by meeting with friends or planning an activity you might enjoy could help? 

You could also ask him how he copes being away from you - he might have some useful suggestions of his own

Re: Loneliness

Hey @Red15V, thanks for sharing with us how you're coping right now. When a loved one leaves for a trip without us, even a short one, it is natural to miss them while they're gone as they are often part of our normal routine. When we notice they are missing from that routine it makes us sad but also look forward to when they return again. You mentioned that you feel hurt and sad at the moment. Is there something in particular that makes you feel hurt about your partner being away?

 

Would you consider writing a diary about how you are feeling? If you like, you could write it as letters to your boyfriend! I'm sure he'd be happy to know you were thinking of him – and without getting him into trouble on his course!

 

Do you have any relaxtion techniques you like to use, like listening to music or watching your favourite movie? When you are next feeling overwhelmed you might like to try taking a little time out instead. RO's Smiling Mind app is a good one to get started.

Re: Loneliness

Hey @Red15V

 

Welcome to ReachOut!

 

How've you been feeling today?

 

 

Sounds like you're remarkably caring towards your boyfriend and your relationship. Sorry to hear that you haven't been feeling great lately. Did you try out any of the suggestions that @safari93 and @Kit have suggested to you? 

___________________________________________________
Stay excellent

Re: Loneliness

I've been a bit better today. Still tears but not as much as yesterday which i guess is a step up

I've tried writing text messages to him knowing he won't read them but at least I'm able to send them and he'd eventually reply so that's helped out a bit. I've also tried watching tv shows to keep me distracted which also seems to be slightly working
People keep telling me it will get better as the time goes. So i guess we'll see.

Re: Loneliness

Hey @Red15V just thought i'd drop in and see how you're doing today! There's a huuuge gigantic pile of suggestion in this thread about things to do about this, although ultimately you know yourself better than we ever can. All the same, have you thought about having a go at any of the suggestions? Or are you feeling okay at this stage with what you're doing? 

 

 

Re: Loneliness

Hey I'm doing better. .still have moments but I'm doing better maybe cause hes coming back soon i Don't know but thank you 😊

Re: Loneliness

Hey @Red15V

I'm glad that you're feeling better now that he's coming back soon, and that you've been able to make it through without him being around.

I wanted to touch on what you said about not knowing who you are without him. Do you still feel this way or was it something more in the moment? It's really easy to get so caught up in a relationship or in other people that we stop living for ourselves or having a firm sense of ourself. If you feel like this is something you've done, how would you feel about looking to figure out who you are outside of him a bit more?