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Re: Loneliness

I don't know. I mean I've figure out what i can do when he's not around but as to who i am without him.. no I'm still not completely sure. Before him i wasn't really anyone. I didn't have much friends. Wasn't very liked. So with him I've found who i am but without him its hard to be that same person... if that makes any sense @Birdeye

Re: Loneliness

Hey @Red15V I am so glad to hear you're feeling a little better about the whole thing Smiley Happy 

 

Do you want to have a go explaining who you are when you are with him? What are the things that you like about you that are brought out by your relationship with him? 

Re: Loneliness

Well... around him i can be me. I can be crazy, i can be loud, i can be shy, i can be outspoken, I can be annoying, I can be sad... and well i can be whoever because he knows me and accepts me. The only other people i can be that around is my family and that's not even all my family. But even my closest friends I'm closed in.. i feel nervous and i just can't be whoever i want to be because i have to act a certain way for them if that makes any sense @Ben-RO

Re: Loneliness

Hey @Red15V, it sounds like you're in a really trusting relationship where you both unconditionally care for each other. I think it's really important for people to be comfortable completely being themselves around their partners and to have the trust in them to accept you fo you. Not feeling like you can always totally be yourself around certain family members or friends definitely makes sense! For me, this means I'm not as close to these people, and I don't fully let my guard down. It makes the relationships I have with my closest friends and family all that more special. Smiley Happy

Re: Loneliness

Hey @Red15V
sorry for asking such questions only to disappear for a little bit. It's really good that you have found things to do when he's not there. Would you like to explore who you are as an individual a bit more?
This could for right now be something really small. Perhaps there's something that has interested you, like a subject or job/volunteering opportunity, that interests you but you've never really attempted? Or something you've considered going to but haven't had anyone to go with and so haven't?
It's nice, I think, to try something and have it be something that is mine.

Re: Loneliness

Hey @Red15V is your boyfriend back home now? How did you go with the rest of the time he was away? We'd love to hear if you found something that helped you cope, in case anyone else reading this finds themself in a similar situation Smiley Happy

Re: Loneliness

I actually just did a lot of artsy stuff and watched my favourite tv shows which really helped as its what i like to do. He is back now but he is leaving again tomorrow. It's only going to be 5 days though. After this holiday period it will be quite a while till we're apart that much again.
But yeah mainly i just found stuff i knew i enjoyed to keep me busy which seemed to help quite effectively @ElleBelle 😊

Re: Loneliness

Thanks for keeping us updated @Red15V Smiley Happy Glad to hear you got through it ok and have a little more confidence that you can survive this next little period of separation.

Re: Loneliness

Sure there were times where i didn't feel completely ok... but I think I dealt with it all quite impressively.. so much so i shocked myself but speaking about it here and hearing other ideas on how to deal with it also helped 😊

Re: Loneliness

That's great @Red15V! Thank you for letting us know how you're doing and what has worked for you. The next time will be easier now that you know what you're capapble of Smiley Happy