I am struggling with loneliness, and I have been for quite a while now. Not just that feeling you get when you go somewhere by yourself, but that empty feeling that follows you around, that feeling of being lonely, even in a room full of people. However, I think that my main problem is that I have always had a best friend, up until February this year. At the start of the year, my best friend Amelia was put into a different class than me. And she was put with one of our close-ish friends. Now, they constantly have these inside jokes that I don't know. And I don't want to be annoying so I don't ask. I only share one class with my Amelia, and now, not only does this other friend (let's call her Grace) get to spend all of her classes with Amelia, now she has a crush on Amelia. This means that she is even more inclined to want to spend every waking moment with her. I am cool with people changing friendships but I just feel so annoying when asking questions and lonely when I don't.
Along with that, I am a part of a large friend group of which many people have a "pair" that they are best friends with. Right now I feel like the only one that is grasping at thin air.
I have tried to reach out to other friends. The first one being Jacinta, but she is aggressive and lashes out when she gets annoyed and, to be honest, she punches me in the boob just because she knows that it hurts me really bad. So, although she can sometimes be a great person because we have a lot in common, we don't always get along because when she gets annoyed with me or we have differing opinions she lashes out and hurts me. And if I get angry back she treats me like an idiot. And I know that I'm not.
Not only do I not get along with people, but I also find it annoying because Grace constantly comes along and takes every single friendship away from me. I have not only reached out to Jacinta but also several other people of whom she seems to have made better friendships with.
Also, in relation, I feel like everyone under-appreciates me and I am constantly self-conscious, not only physically but mentally. About my personality and how I act. I'm scared that people might find me obnoxious or too extroverted because of my recent change in personality (I used to be WAYYY more introverted). I just don't know what to do. I am considering moving schools just because I'm scared of not having any friends.
AechPosted 19-11-2018 06:54 PM