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Re: Lonely and just wanting someone to care..

Hey guys,

I'm feeling a bit stupid and just needing to chat.. I requested an extension for an assignment that's due Monday cause my GP recommended it and my lecturer called me today to check in and make sure I was okay.. 

She is so caring and motherly that as soon as she asked me I just started crying and couldn't help it. I kept telling her I was fine but I just feel stupid cause clearly I'm not. 

I know it's stupid but part of me just wanted to give her a hug? And then I just wanted to see my psych and give her a hug and sit in her office?

I just feel weird. Hearing that she cared just made me feel even more stupid for wanting to end my life. It's hard to explain. 

I've been burrying my head in the sand so much with this virus cause it just overwhelms me too much but I think hearing from my lecturer today brought it all up to the surface cause it kinda hit home that we haven't had classes with her in over a month. I know it's silly but it just really upset me and made me miss normal. I never throught I'd miss uni classes but I really do!!! 

When I was on the phone I also saw the guy who works in my psychs office and it just made me more upset cause I really miss seeing them each week. I don't have any friends or family here so seeing them kinda keeps me going and I didn't realise how much I missed seeing every one in person...

I was feeling a bit more on top of things thismorning but now I just feel sad and lonely. I really just want to go downstairs and see if my psych is here in person just so physically see her but I know it's stupid and I can't. I just really miss seeing friendly faces I guess.. 

Is anyone else having issues with this? I'm assuming every one is! Just wondering how you manage to cope with it? Cause I feel like I'm not going to be able to avoid and ignore this virus much longer 😔

I'm all good, just felt like I needed to connect with someone.

Re: Lonely and just wanting someone to care..

Hey @MB95 

 

Aw. I'm so sorry to hear you're going through a hard time. Thanks for sharing. We're always here to listen Heart.

 

I don't think you should feel silly Heart. You are going through a lot at the moment and it is totally okay to be experiencing these emotions.

 

I think everyone's feelings are exacerbated during this difficult time. Staying isolated is hard, and I also find myself missing social stimulation Smiley Sad.  Things are better now that I'm seeing my boyfriend (and his family because he still lives at home). I've found keeping in touch with friends/family and uni/work friends via text message or video conference to be quite helpful. Also, going for daily walks just to get out of the house and walk past and smile at others has been good. Or going to a local cafe to order a take away coffee. I find that those small interactions help.

 

It must be really hard not having any family or friends here. Do you live with anyone? Or are you seeing absolutely no-one?

 

Hopefully things go back to normal sooner rather than later.

Re: Lonely and just wanting someone to care..

Thanks @Maddy-RO ❤

 

I know it's not just me experiencing the covid blues, so I guess it kind of helps to know everyone is in it together in some way. The isolation stuff hasn't really affected me too much cause I guess I'm used to being on my own here so honestly hadn't noticed it as much as most people but just talking to my lecturer hit a nerve I guess! 

 

I was completely on my own for just over a month but one of my housemates has just got back so I see her every now and again. Usually there's 4 of us in the house but every one went home cause of the virus, and I missed getting in before the boarders closed lol We don't always see eye to eye but it is nice having her around! 

 

And I try my best to come into uni everyday now. It was tough ar first but I've noticed it makes a difference getting out so I'll often spend all day here and it's a nice way to see people out and about. It's just annoying that the people I actually want to see, I can't see 🙃 

Re: Lonely and just wanting someone to care..

Hey @MB95 

 

My name is Whimer (not my real name haha) and I am new builder on RO forum so I might not have read through your entire thread...but I am interested in hearing from you as in how you've been!

 

I personally have experienced a similar issue with my psychologist. When I had my second session with him he told me that the third session would be in a month. So now I still haven't had my third session, but I've emailed him to let him know that I needed help.

 

As for the feeling of loneliness, I personally found connecting with friends on social media quite useful as it makes me feel less lonely. It might not work for you though. What do you think might make you feel less lonely?

 

Heart

Re: Lonely and just wanting someone to care..

Hello @MB95, it sounds like you are in a really difficult situation. It can be really hard trying to adjust to these times, especially when you are used to seeing your friends/family on a daily basis. I can't imagine how much your uni routine and classes must have changed because of COVID. I hope it has not changed too much. It sounds like getting out and going into uni has been helpful for you. Sometimes fresh air and a change of scenery can be very calming.

It is great to hear that you have been able to see one of your housemates again. It must be good to be able to see them in person now. Are you still keeping in touch with your other housemates and family members over the phone?

Re: Lonely and just wanting someone to care..

Congrats on becomming a builder @Whimer, and thanks for checking in! Smiley Happy 

 

I'm definately feeling alot better today compared to what I have been.. just had a bit of a hiccup earlier on. More just a trigger that set me off, but I'm okay. Getting there. 

 

I think it's awesome you emailed your psych to let them know whats going on for you. The wait time can SUCK! I am pretty lucky (although not exactly sure my psych would see it that way) at the moment as I have a weekly check in with her. Where I live I don't have any supports around and no one except for my best friend overseas knows about my mental health so she always makes sure she leaves an appointment free for me every week, especially during these iso times. It's moreso for my safety atm that it's weekly. We tried dropping back to 2wks a while ago but it didn't end very well. So I kinda get the wait time - I sure as shit can't do it, so I think it's AMAZING you decided to reach out! 

 

I use social media a bit I guess. My favourite is zooming my best friend overseas though - we've tried to make it a weekly thing since this virus and it definately helps being able to 'hang out' with her for a few hours on the weekends. 

 

I'm used to not seeing family or friends @TOM-RO as I now live in a different state to them all, so I guess I'm adjusted to that. Just talking to my lecturer made COVID real to me and I guess that's what upset me. Like even if I wanted to fly home and see my family, the choice is now out of my hands. I guess I'm lucky in the way that I'm used to being alone so not seeing them hasn't affected me as much as it might others. Was just the realisation that normal really isn't a thing at the moment, no matter how hard I try to bury my head in the sand and believe it is. I just didn't realise I actually missed uni classes and my lecturers lol 

Re: Lonely and just wanting someone to care..

Hey @MB95 

 

It appears you were in better spirits last night, which is lovely to see Heart. It seems like the shock of COVID had just caught up with you, which is understandable.

 

Your relationship with your best friend overseas sounds really genuine and supportive. It can be hard to find those sort of friends, but when you do it's great. Having just one, genuine friend who you can talk to anything and everything about, without them passing judgment, can make such a positive difference! I'm happy that you have that Heart

 

Hows your day been so far?

Re: Lonely and just wanting someone to care..

Hey @MB95 - I absolutely understand where you're coming from! I know I am lucky to be isolating with my family, but my work is with really young kids and with COVID I only have one client, so I am really missing social interaction with partner, friends and colleagues. Being apart from people we really care about and also feel cared for by (I hope that sentence makes more sense when you read it - it sounds a bit odd to me!) can take a toll, especially with the added stress of COVID.

I don't think it's silly at ALL that you're missing uni, your lecturer and your psych Heart in fact, I think it speaks to the strength of your relationships with them - I think it's lovely your lecturer called to check in on you!

I also think it's wonderful to have a genuine friend who checks in with you regularly - I know it's hard when they're far apart from you. Some of my closest friends are interstate and overseas and I miss them plenty, but we're so lucky to have social media to keep us a little virtually closer.

I hope you are able to feel a little more connected today Smiley Happy

Re: Lonely and just wanting someone to care..

You're not wrong @Maddy-RO! I just wish she bloody lived here! Would give anything to have a friend like her close by 😔 

 

I feel like I've been more on the up the last few days! Had a few hiccups here and there but I'm trying extremely hard to fight my thoughts and just get through whatever comes my way! I probably sound hella positive atm.. I'm not really lol but defs trying to fake it till I make it atm! I've actually been thinking about finding somewhere to volunteer for a while and think it's time I did it. I just feel like I need a purpose and usually find that gives me some sort of meaning.. gonna talk to my psych on Tuesday and see if she has any suggestions but if you guys do then feel free to share! I just feel like I really need to start meeting people. I'm scared shitless and know I won't find it easy but I'm so sick of being so alone so think it's time I tried to step out of my comfort zone.. I just want to find some friends 😔

 

Thanks @JazzInMay - it made sense and your message just made me smile 😊 I thought it was pretty nice of my lecturer too, I really didn't expect it but my uni is pretty amazing at supporting their students which is nice. My teachers always used to tell me in school that lecturers wouldn't help or care as much, but honestly, they've been so much better than half the teachers I ever had! 😂

Re: Lonely and just wanting someone to care..

Hello @MB95, I am really glad to hear that you have been feeling better and more positive lately. There is definitely some truth to the saying "fake it until you make it". I believe it is because when we flood our minds with positive thoughts, we start to slowly stop thinking of the negatives because we are no longer used to them.

 

It is a great idea that you are interested in volunteering. Volunteering work can be so rewarding for both yourself and the people you are helping. There is also the bonus of making new connections and gaining more experience in fields that you are likely to work in one day. When thinking about volunteering I would suggest thinking more specifically about who you want to work with and what you want to gain experience doing. For example, if you were interested in getting some experience with youth, there is often lots of volunteering opportunities involving peer mentoring that you could do.

 

I think the best place to start is looking at some volunteering vacancy websites such as Volunteer.com.au and Govolunteer.com.au. Having a look at those websites may also help you get an idea of what you would be interested in.  I hope this has been helpful ! Robot Happy