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Looking for a purpose in life

I'm such a mess right now. I feel like my life doesn't have a meaning. I don't think it ever did. I don't have many friends and the few people I actually thought were my friends are so busy with their own amazing life that I don't see much of them anyway. Everytime we meet, it feels like they're only there because they pity me.


My parents are so happy in their boring routine that even when I visit them I feel bored and lonely. I don't go to them with my worries because they never had the capacity to give me emotional support. What they give, they give in a material way and it was never what I needed in life. I know they care, but they're not good at being warm and affectionate, which is exactly what I would need. I'm a very emotional person who needs a lot of hugging and there is no one out there to do this simple gesture for me.


I finished college about 10 months ago and I found a good job but the new excitement of it faded very fast. I'm now a single-employed-27-year-old with no plans for the future and no reason to enjoy life. It's like nothing really motivates me. I don't have a special connection with anyone at the office or in my personal life.


I want to change all that but everytime I try something new, I realise it doesn't give me the opportunity to connect with anyone. I feel like I'm not the kind of person that people want to have in their life. I'm not happy. I don't know if i've ever been. My love life, or the lack of, is even less glorious. I haven't had anyone in my life in years and even then, it was never genuine. I live alone with my cat, looking worward to the weekend every monday just to disconnect as much as possible from my empty reality. I end up reading fanfictions just to be outside of this world. I need to find my place, but it seems the world doesn't want me to. I'm not living, I'm surviving.


Sorry for the spelling, English is my second language.Cat Happy

Re: Looking for a purpose in life

Hi @littleflower 


Welcome to ReachOut! I'm sorry that you are feeling so down and that you feel like everything in your life is a mess Smiley Sad  Sometimes you can get to a certain point in life and when you look around... things and people aren't how you expected them to be. At times like these it can be really helpful to speak to a professional about how you're feeling. They can help to guide you through your journey.


Unfortunately, I can't provide a reccomendation for a professional in your area because it looks like you may not live in Australia. I wonder if you could do a google search for some local counsellors or psychologists in your area instead?


You know - you sound like such a strong and intelligent person! I'm sure there is a purpose out there in the world. Find what makes you happy and live in it! If that means fanfiction all weekend then find a way to make a life from it. Have you ever started writing fanfiction yourself?


Anyway, feel free to hang out and check out some of the info on ReachOut. It may not be the best sort of info for what you're going through because most of it is aimed at young people aged 14 to 25, but you never know Cat Happy





Re: Looking for a purpose in life

Read this with caution, I might be giving bad advice here.


I think friends come and go. Friends change and we change. Make new friends. At the age of 27 because we are all so busy with work and other projects we are working on, I dont think we see our friends very much anyway. 


With regards to your parents, I think you know that they are not that sort of person. There is no point seeking that kind of relationship when its just not them. Accept them for who they are and treat them like how you want to be treated.


Dont say that you have no reason to enjoy life and there is no meaning to your life. You sound like wonderful caring person, look foward to find out how you want to give meaning to it. Whether to start a family, help those in need, explore the world, create amazing things, travel the world, enlighten others... create a blog, start a youtube channel, twitch... etc. Everyone has to start some where and maybe for you it is right this moment.


There are other ways to connect to people apart from one on one. You are here connecting with all of us. 

Dont look down on yourself, you seem like a really wonderful person.


Take care.



Re: Looking for a purpose in life

Hi @littleflower , I am really sorry to hear that you are going through a hard time right now.  The problems you are experiencing are not uncommon and your certainly not alone in feeling this way!


I was wondering if there is anything you are really passionate about? (For example, perhaps you really care about animal welfare?) 


Sometimes finding ways to help others can be really fulfilling.  Maybe you could think about how you might be able to have a positive influence? Even small steps can be really great!


Re: Looking for a purpose in life

@littleflower like another person already mentioned, you do sound like a wonderful person and it seems unfortunate that you just dont happen to have many people that you feel you can connect with.


You said that when you try new things it doesnt give you an opportunity to connect with anyone. --> Perhaps instead of focusing on connecting with others, really do focus on finding your purpose, what your passionate about and living true to yourself.


Personally, I think that when someone is passionate, independent  and motivated it draws us towards them, and connection naturally develops. If we can tell that someone is seeking connection, i think we feel less drawn to them. 


In terms of something for the short term, perhaps look into doing some volunteer work. English is your second language, whats your first?  there are a variety of programs for people wanting to learn a langauge that perhaps cant afford it, or opportunities to volunteer at homework clubs for high school kids. (Your building your resume, giving to the community, and the student im sure will really appreciate your time and efforts- and give you some social momentum for general life and other opportunities).


Hope I have been able to help Smiley Happy


Re: Looking for a purpose in life

Hey @littleflower
You have so much support here and I just wanted to come in and tell you that do not rely on the world to make you. You have to make you. You have to find your way and your meaning.

You are strong, do not underestimate your strength and power. Search within yourself and find out what you want and what you need.

Stay strong Smiley Happy
**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**