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Loss of pleasure

It's been a while! Things have been good for the mostpart.


I had a pretty bad day, and I'm trying to figure out why. I spent today at home procrastinating, ruminating and wasting time. People have been busy lately, so I've felt lonely. This is compounded by a disinterest in my usual hobbies.


It's not right. On a day off like today I oughta be enjoying myself, instead I'm here feeling down and trying to play detective with my mood. There are many things I care about and usually enjoy, but lately I've just felt really down and lethargic - and unfortunately, had no one to talk to about it. It feels childish, but when my friends become unavailable I feel neglected and sad.


Despite feeling out of it today, I did a couple hours work. I became pretty absorbed in what I was doing, then I hit a wall and felt my concentration waning. I took a break, which dragged on and never really ended. In the time that followed I had a lot of negative self-talk, feeling unsatisfied with how much I had gotten done, things like "I should be better than this", "this is going nowhere", and so on. This only made me feel worse, and I resigned myself to procrastinate and try again tomorrow. Today, the negativity won...


If nothing else, I'm trying to salvage today by learning something from it. I feel like this negativity and self-discouragement is habitual, so I may need to discuss it with a psychologist. Thoughts?

Re: Loss of pleasure

Hey @Ryuusei


I'm also a fellow procrastinator, so you're not alone! Procrastinating and spending arduous hours on the web is pretty real with us haha.


You're pretty self-aware on how you've gone about spending your time. Writing out a list (one for 'stuff that needs to be done right now' and 'fun stuff') could be a good way to go. By doing so, it could help you prioritise what should be done now and what you can do later or for relaxation. Taking breaks in between activities or throughout them (i.e. doing work for 30-40 mins then taking a break) can be helpful to curb concentration too as you're getting used to the momentum of work. 


It doesn't sound childish to miss your friends! Friends are awesome and it's great when they can boost your mood too Smiley HappyHave you spoken to them about making some time so that you can hang out? It's important to communicate with each other when everyone's free so that you can catch up.


With negativity, you can visit our threads on Turning Negatives Into Positives and Three Positives of Today to practice some positive self-talk. You may also be interested in checking out how to set goals too. If you feel comfortable chatting with a psychologist, then go for it! 


Let us know how it goes!

Stay excellent

Re: Loss of pleasure

Hey @Ryuusei!! You're definitely not the only one who can spend a day procrastinating! I can definitely say I've had some less-than-productive days. It sounds like you've made some interesting observations about your behaviour, and if you feel that your behaviour is out of the ordinary and warrants some concern, definitely organise a meeting with a psychologist. You can set up a referral through your GP, or you can organise a meeting through your local headspace centre, if there is one close by. Let us know how things go Smiley Happy


Re: Loss of pleasure

Hey @Ryuusei,


For starters it sounds like you know yourself pretty damn well. I know what it's like to lose interest in your hobbies and become a bit lost in negative self-talk. Lately i'm so so busy with work and study, but I find that when I do have significant amounts of free time, those kinda thoughts start to pop up.


The links posted by @Myvo are a great place to start, and I think seeing a psychologist could be a great idea if you feel like the negativity and self-discouragement is persisting and affecting you.


At the very least, you would get a chance to talk through how you're feeling, and they would also be able to help provide you some further insight into what you're experiencing and some tips to work through it. 


Feel free to let us know how you go. 


Re: Loss of pleasure

hi @Ryuusei you sound like a university student, because I can relate to many of the things you have said.


I think it is normal to feel down at times. I can definately relate to 'playing detective my mood'. However, what I came to realise, is that this habitual habit of playing detective actually made me feel worse. It took my a long time to realise this, and what backed up my avoidance of this habbit was something I learnt in a psyhology book, as this is what I study at uni.


One of the most widely used approaches by psychologists is 'acceptance and commitment therapy' (ACT), and in a book on ACT it describes two types of pain 'dirty pain' and 'clean pain'. It states "the pain caused by the effort to not have pain is refered to in the ACT community as "dirty" pain. In contrast. "clean pain" refers to the pain that is the natural and automatic result of living live. In fact research  has shown that attempts to suppress troubling thoguhts or emotions tend to result in rebound effects, wherein the emotion or thought is even more prominent."


I would definately suggest seeing a psychologist, perhaps one that has experience with ACT and Cognitive behavioural therapy, as they may be able to help you better understand how the mind works, and perhaps strategies which are constructive and ones which are not. Its definately easy to get into mental habits without realising it.


feel free to ask any other questions! Smiley Happy