It doesn't sound like you're having much of a fun time, which Im sorry to hear. It also doesn't sound like this girl treated you right at all. It can really hurt when you find out someone isn't the person you thought they were.
Have you thought about seeing someone to talk to about your anxiety? It could help quite a lot
Hope you're feeling better
I did see a psychologist a few weeks ago. I only had 3 sessions but I didn't find it was helping me at all. I've tried medication..and all it did was make me sleep a lot. And I still feel really miserable and I only just woke up now. Well my mum woke me up. I didn't even want to get out of bed
It may be a good idea to try a different psych. Sometimes the first doctor just isn't the one for you, which is unfortunate. I'm not sure about medication as I don't know much about it, but I do know it took my brother a couple of goes with different types before he found the one that worked for him best. He had a similar issue with being tired all the time.
Its good you got out of bed though! Even though it seems like it really sucks, hopefully you'll feel better if you force yourself to get up and keep going. I know it works for me
Is there anything you enjoy doing that would help take your mind of things for a while?
Wow, 939, nobody deserves to be treated the way you have by your Ex! That is really really crappy behaviour on her part and I'm so sorry you were ever treated that way!
It does sound like the stress of that situation has maybe brought on some underlying mental health issues though - and I'd like to encourage you to keep at it with seeking some formal help. Sometimes we need to try 2,3 4 etc psychologists before we find someone we click with. And it is really important that you find someone you 'click' with - it's common for people to have a chat with a new therapist before a consultation to see whether you 'click' over the phone. What about trying Headspace? You could try y a webchat with eHeadspace? https://www.eheadspace.org.au/
And it's the same thing with medication - there are many medications and they are all different and unfortunately sometimes you need to try a few different ones before you find one that works properly for you.
I've worked with many people who have been in your situation where they had to try a few therapists and a few different medications and they tell me they feel skeptical and hopeless - similar to how you do now. But the feeling when you do actually talk to someone that you click with or you get the medication that actually works - well the feeling is amazing. The biggest relief you will ever feel!
I know @tesla-weapon has said this about his own journey recently in another thread - I can't find where TW posted it, can you rememeber TW??
I really hope you'll maybe give Headspace a try, check out our info on all the different professional types you might find helpful...
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I'm so sorry to hear about this horrible experience you've had. Reading it I felt a bit of anger and disgust rising up within me. Asking myself how could someone treat someone so badly!? Unfortunately this is a form of bullying, really, isn't it?
@Chonty and @Sophie-RO have given you some great advice in terms of seeking help, and I also encourage you to look a different professional to talk to. I know from experience, it can be hard to talk to some people, something inside you just doesn't seem to click, and that's okay, it just means we go in search of another.
I wanted to point out the same with a relationship, sometimes they just aren't meant to be, and I know it doesn't make it any less painful, but knowing that can help us in finding the right person. Because do you really want to spend your life with someone who doesn't make you feel good about yourself? I think not. And I know that this probably isn't what you want to hear, but I'm saying it anyway, because I think it is a valuable thing to know and learn.
I know myself when I kept chasing one negative person in my life, all it ever did was make me feel worse about myself. But since I kind of said that is their choice, and started ignoring their behaviour and carried on my life I started to feel a bit better. Sure the damage was done, but I think I'm stronger for that. I let him think what he wanted and pretty much accepted the idea that I may never have a good relationship with him. And since then I've learnt to love myself for who I am, no strings attached. Sure I'm still self-conscience, and I fear to let people in incase they hurt me like he did, but I am happier without him in my life. Without my brother.
I guess what I am trying to say here, is that it is possible to move on and use this experience to help you. It is a lot of hard work, and takes a long time. But It is doable
I kind of went off onto a totally different tangant than what I originally wanted, but I'm happy with what I've written, and hope it helps you in some way
And as a last note, that girl probably doesn't deserve your love and affection.
Remember you're amazing just as you are
While it hurts at the moment, you are better off without the girl. You weren't the problem, she just wasn't ready to commit. Teenage girls can be the nastiest people on earth. However, it has raised some underlying isues for you.
I agree with the other posters, that you may need to try a different Psychologist. It is not a one size fits all situation. You really have to connect with your Psych and feel comfortable, before you can really open up and start to heal. As for meds, trial and error. There are many different types and sometimes the first one isn't right for you.
I'm glad that you are getting out of bed. Try and do something positive each day. Write down 3 things that are good about yourself every day. You sound like a caring, well spoken young man. Learn to like yourself first. Have you talked to your parents about your feelings? Sometimes, we are good listeners, even if we are not experts .
Try going out with a few mates once a week. Make a start. Even if it is to throw a footy around in the park. The sunshine won't hurt either.
Good luck on your journey
I just want to reiterate what everyone else has said, because the advice they have given is great! I really agree that you do not deserve to be treated like that by anyone, especially not someone who used to be your girlfriend.
I also wanted to let you know that you are not alone. You said that you now worry you will never get another gf because of what she said about you. It's important for you to realise that at the age of 19 you still have a lot of chances to get into relationship as you get older. Know that the way we see ourselves is usually very different to how others see us, and that the things you are insecure about are often not even noticed by those around you. Be reassured that as you get older you will keep meeting new people, and that some of the girls you meet will want to date you because you seem like a loving, caring person. It is girls like these that you deserve to be with.
“Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind”
You shouldn't be so hard on yourself 939! Which is easier said than done. It really isn't fair what she said about you in the text, but I know from experience that some girls say things like that when they really might not mean it. Unfortunately the first thing some girls say when they break up/get angry with their partner is about size, when it's really not an issue. Just like some men tell their friends things like "she was a total bitch" when usually it's not the fact.
At least, that's what I've seen.
You mentioned you went to a club with a friend and your ex, could you hang out with them again? Sometimes when you're down and out it can feel like you've pushed away all your friends, but if they're true they'll realise you might just need some timeout.
Other than that, maybe just try and go for a walk during the day. It's pretty awesome how much some sunlight and a glance at the clouds can lift your mood
(also your writing is just fine bro)
Seen something fantastic on the forums?