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Lost

I guess I don't really know where to start. I have never written on something like this or ever been on a website like this but tonight it all became too much and I've realised I need serious help but dont know where to get it from. 

 

I've always been a sociable, outgoing, funny person and that has never changed but inside I dont know who I am and I feel like I'm an outsider looking in at my life. Inside I have so many personal battles when I'm alone but when I'm with family and friends I'm a completely different person. 

 

I have no major issues in my life and it's pretty good so I get so angry at myself that I have problems with it when so many other people have reasons for depression and anxiety where as mine I feel as been onset by myself and my messed up mind. 

 

I guess I just needed to get something anything out as it's become too much as I feel like I have so many things that I want to change that I will never be happy with who I am. I have so many things to look forward to and so many plans I want to fulfil but I just don't know how to make it to there and to stop the battle that I am constantly putting myself through. 

Re: Lost

Hi joanne Smiley Happy welcome to RO.

 

First of all, there's never a single reason for anything we feel. There's no need to think that just because you haven't experienced certain things that you can't be depressed - no one really knows why they feel the way they do, sometimes it just happens.

 

Have you tried anything to avoid feeling depressed? Often talking to friends about your issues, going for a walk or reading a good book can put you in a better mood. There are also a wide range of coping techniques - maybe give it a quick Google search and find something that works for you Smiley Happy

You mentioned never being happy with who you are...is it possible that you're feeling like this due to something self-esteem related? If so, you might like to check out this fact sheet - http://au.reachout.com/How-to-build-self-confidence

Also, if you're interested in a bit of general info/tips on depression, have a look at this - http://au.reachout.com/Depression

 

Either way, try to take care of yourself. Feel free to check back in and let us know how you go too Smiley Happy this is a pretty friendly community, you're sure to feel accepted. By the way, if you're finding it hard to talk to people you know about all of this, there are other options...a quick call to lifeline (131144) or kids helpline (1800551800) might be the way to go.

Hope all is well!
Dan.

Re: Lost

Ah, the "what reason do I have?" battle. In my case, I have people constantly trying to find reasons why and it really annoys me! It's hard, but try and accept that yes, there are some things I can change, but others I can't. Working on things you can change can help you feel more in control and help you cope with the stuff you can't change. 

 

Example: I may not be able to go out with friends, but I can ring them up for a chat

 

See what I mean? 

Re: Lost

Hi joanne, thanks for sharing with us here and welcome to Reach Out.

 

I don't want to repeat what the others say but rest assured they're on the money. Sometimes there isn't what you might call a "good" reason but, really, does the reason even matter? What matters is that you feel better again.

 

In addition to the suggestion of Lifeline, don't forget to also try visiting your doctor. He/she might be able to help out and offer some advice or refer you to a good psychologist/therapist who can better help you out.

 

Don't forget to pop back and update us on how you're doing!

Re: Lost

Hi Joanne 

 

I hope you felt better writing all that out and you are trully brave for coming on the forums and you should be proud of yourself because of that. 

 

I dont think there is one person here or anywhere who doesnt have problems no matter how minor they are, we all have them and its ok to feel defeated sometimes and change is never easy, plans dont always go the way you want them to but you just need to take one step at a time and try not be too hard on yourself because you are human too Smiley Happy 

 

I also suggest Lifeline because they will help and encourage you to see things in a better light and talking can sometimes help your mind become less messed up. 

 

I hope to see you around the forums

Take care of yourself and let us know how you go Smiley Happy

_________________________________________________
**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**

Re: Lost

I sometimes thought that I didn't have a right to feel the way I do.  Then I realised that every single person is unique and has their own battles.  It's not about comparison and judging.  It's about you and what makes you feel awful, and what makes you feel amazing.  That's what's important.

Everyone's suggested some great methods or people you could try talking to.  Hope you feel better about finally taking the step to come on here and express how you're feeling.

Re: Lost

Welcome to the forums joanne ! The forums is a different part of cyberspace don't you think ? I found it very unique in that I'd never been actively engaged in a forum before either. Reach Out really helps to get things out, get a different perspective and hopefully resolve what may be worrying you.

 

This reminds me of one of those quote things like "we're all perfectly imperfect" or is it imperfectly perfect ? Anywho, I think the point is that we're unique and that's what makes you special. According to wiki answers "the estimated population of the world as of March 2012 is 7,003,019,800." If that doesn't make you feel special enough it also says "That number is expected to increase by about 212,035 every day." Which means that we're even more special every day.

 

That really makes me feel loved !

 

Life's pretty great like that. You never know what's around the corner. 

Re: Lost

im still pretty messed up but hey looking for something to turn it around before its to late

Re: Lost

Hi Joanne,

I'm sorry to hear you're still not doing well.
It sounds like you're in a bad place - please make sure you look after yourself.
If you need urgent help you can call the Suicide Callback Service ANY TIME 24/7 on 1300 659 467

 

If you just need to talk to someone you can also call Lifeline on 13 11 14


I notice in your original post you said you get angry at yourself for feeling the way you do and that you have 'no real problems'. It's a common misconception that depression and other mental health issues are brought on by a life event - yes that does happen, however it is a clinical condition, it's not just feeling sad. Don't tell yourself you don't deserve to feel the way you do. My doctor first explained this to me by saying it's like a switch, some people have it and some don't - but if you do have it, it can turn on at any point and start affecting you.

 

You also said that you just felt like you needed to get something out, ReachOut is the perfect place to do this. I'd also strongly recommend you talk to a doctor about how your feeling as they'll be able to refer you to a therapist or someone else who can help or create a treatment plan for you.

 

I really hope things improve for you. Take care.

 

JD.