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Major Shift

I've been thru a lot in my life and I'm only 24 years old. 14 years ago I lost my mother in a tragic fire accident that killed 100 people and was separated from my brother younger brother a year later because we have different father's. I grew up with my grandparents an my grandf seeather is bipolar and was physically abusive from time to time (not to me) but to pretty much everyone else. He was also verbally abusive. My dad was absent for almost all my childhood because he grew up in the hood and was always getting into trouble so he wasnt allowed around me.And since between 2012 and now i had to go thru seeing my grandfather back to his old ways. And my uncle that was living in the same house got addicted to opiates really bad for a few months and we'll that was a show an a half during that time. And I got back in touch with my biological dad back in 2015 and we tried to do things but he's a heavy cocaine addict so nothing really got done. He not accepting of me and everything that I've been thru in my life. We lived on an off because his addiction is really bad. But he just got a new girlfriend and unfortunately he picked a women who has addiction problems just as bad as him and recently decided to screw his family over and steal $40 from his cousins sister and ditched me and took off somewhere with his new girlfriend and wants nothing to do with me anymore he don't even answer the phone to me he ignores all my calls. So it just sucks. My dad is troubled though he's 46 years old an was in an outta jail for 23 years of his life. But I guess im strong hearted to go as long as it lasted an he was the one that walked away not me. But when I look back we didn't have a healthy relationship. I wouldn't even say it was cause of the drugs. But more the fact that he didn't accept me for who I am and because of that he did verbally abuse me in some ways. This messes with my head alot to from all that I've been thru. I'll be alright it's gonna be really tough at first though. I don't counseling though it don't work for me cause i don't like talking ive here thru tons of counselors from previous things and physcologist

Re: Major Shift

Hey @Walkofpain48 first up - super sorry about the delay to this post. It looks like it's only just appeared on our feed! The forum must have glitched slightly.

 

Secondly - thank you so much for sharing this story, it is indeed a journey and I know must have been quite painful to write up and share with us, but I am really glad you have. I hope we can support you and help you with some of the pain you're going through as a result of the neglect and trauma from your Dad and other family members. I am super sorry to hear about your Mum as well. 

You are very resilient. I can imagine the thoughts around your Dad and uncle and the drug use must be pretty painful, we all just want our parents to act as our guides and mentors, not to feel we have to estrange ourselves from them. But you are right sometimes the best thing to do is to go through this major shift, and stay away for our own self preservation. Before we carry on can I ask - why do you think counselling hasn't worked for you? Very curious about this. Also do you work/study etc?

 

I will tag some other members for you too Smiley Happy Also I deleted the other thread at your request. Speak soon!

@letitgo @Asche @honky @RevzZ @FootyFan26 @redhead @scared01 

Re: Major Shift

hey @Walkofpain48, welcome to RO! I just want to acknowledge your courage for sharing -Thank you so much for sharing your journey and reaching out. How are you feeling at the moment?Smiley Happy

 

@Bree-RO has asked from great questions - I will wait for your response. Looking forward to hearing from you soonSmiley Happy

Re: Major Shift

Hey @Walkofpain48,

 

Just checking to see how you're doing? Have you perhaps thought about what @Bree-RO and @honky have said?

Re: Major Shift

@Walkofpain48 just wanted to remind you that we're here for you whenever you're ready to chat Heart

Re: Major Shift


@Bree-RO wrote:

Hey @Walkofpain48 first up - super sorry about the delay to this post. It looks like it's only just appeared on our feed! The forum must have glitched slightly.

 

Secondly - thank you so much for sharing this story, it is indeed a journey and I know must have been quite painful to write up and share with us, but I am really glad you have. I hope we can support you and help you with some of the pain you're going through as a result of the neglect and trauma from your Dad and other family members. I am super sorry to hear about your Mum as well. 

You are very resilient. I can imagine the thoughts around your Dad and uncle and the drug use must be pretty painful, we all just want our parents to act as our guides and mentors, not to feel we have to estrange ourselves from them. But you are right sometimes the best thing to do is to go through this major shift, and stay away for our own self preservation. Before we carry on can I ask - why do you think counselling hasn't worked for you? Very curious about this. Also do you work/study etc?

 

I will tag some other members for you too Smiley Happy Also I deleted the other thread at your request. Speak soon!

@letitgo @Asche @honky @RevzZ @FootyFan26 @redhead @scared01 


I'm doing ok sorry I didn't get back to you guys for a while. I have a girlfriend now and she is really sweet and loyal and she is just like me. I don't think there is anything she don't like doing that I like doing she's not picky. We have so many similarities it's unbelievable and we think the same way and we both been thru a really bad tragedy and had a messed up life. So we understand each other really well. She has family problems to just like mine. We met the beginning of December and we have a really close relationship already and we really love each other, we both weren't looking for any relationships until we ran into each other . We talk all day everyday to each other on the phone, if we aren't texting each other we are talking on the phone. She's been thru a lot though the last couple of men she been with mistreated her. Her first man took her kids from her and her and made everything seem like is her fault and in front of the kids to. And then her last man hit her and tried to take her life away and gave her back problems because he slammed her on the hardwood floor to. We rented a hotel and spent Christmas and New Years together. She has some insecurity problems but that's not her fault it's cause of what she been thru sometimes she thinks. Sometimes if I don't text her back right away she gets upset and thinks I'm talking to another girl cause she's afraid to lose me. I don't get mad at her cause I understand where she's coming from with those kinds of feelings because when I was with my dad I had separation anxiety with him.She's just afraid to lose me cause she's never been loved and cared for the way she should have by her previous men. But I always tell her I'm not going anywhere and show her a lot of love. We have a lot of fun with each other and I make her laugh a lot. Like last night all the lights were off except the tv and she was on the other side of her room and I was like want to play the maze game? And she's like what's that? And I'm like where I turn the tv off and you gotta find your way back to the bed!

Re: Major Shift

Hey @Walkofpain48, it's good to hear from you again! It sounds like you've found someone really special and you're helping her in an awesome way, so well done!

How are you feeling at the moment when you're on your own?

Re: Major Shift

hey @Walkofpain48, thanks for getting back and keeping us updated! I'm happy for you that things have worked out, congratulations! How are you feeling?