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Mental Health worries

Hi all,

 

So I've contemplated making a thread for a little while and I want to more than I don't, so I've decided to at least try to write it out.

 

One thing my psychiatrist has said is that she feels like work would be good for me, that I would feel better. My Gp tended to agree as well.

 

About a month ago I started work! Yay! It was surreal and the excitement of it drove me for a couple of weeks, but now I'm feeling that slump. The excitement is lessening and I'm accepting that I got the job. I'm finding myself very tired, which is understandable since it was 0 to full time in a short amount of time, combined with being anaemic (I have an iron infusion tomorrow to help the anaemia).

 

So I'm constantly tired. And I'm not feeling so great. My depression is haunting me. And I touched on it a little with my psychologist, who helped me put it into perspective which was nice, but otherwise, it wasn't overly helpful (which we knew at the time). I'm struggling to care for anything outside of work - all I want to do is lay in bed and spend the whole day there. I find it hard to work up the motivation to do things, and can literally just spend all my time watching netflix or browsing facebook mindlessly. I'm not gaining anything from this, not even feeling rejuvenated like it's self-care. (Because it's not really, it's just passing time while the empty and numb feelings of depression surround me).

 

I guess part of me hoped that once I got work things would feel a bit easier, I'd have more good days etc and manage it all better. Yet even though I know that realistically, life doesn't work like that, I was somewhat hopeful for it. -shrugs-

 

I'm not quite sure what the point of writing this was anymore, I just needed to get it out, because apart from my professional supports I'm feeling a little unsupported right now, and I feel like I'm burdening some friends too much.


Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Mental Health worries

Hi @Bee
I'm really glad that you posted this. I know a lot of us can relate.
Going from 0 to full time work like you said can be a huge adjustment. It can also be really draining and on our days off make us want to just do nothing. I feel this. When I went from casual work to still being a casual but working 5-6 days I would be really unmotivated on my days off to do anything. All I could think about was work and having to work the next day.
Please know you are not alone Heart
So I want to ask, how are you liking this new job? I know you've been working really hard.
One thing that works for me is that I like to set financial goals or treat myself once in a while. That's what keeps me working. For example I say I want to hit x amount by the end of the month (but not setting a goal that will be too high and therefore anxiety-inducing or stressful) and then I feel really proud of myself.
And here and there I think about something that I can treat myself with like a new outfit or an item of makeup and I work towards it and then it feels really good to get it.
Is there anything you could save for that would motivate you? I know you like your photography!
It's hard to say what will work because we are all different but it can be so hard in this fast-paced lifestyle where its work, work, work.
Sometimes it can be an adjustment period.
Let's chat some things out and see if we can find anything that might help you Heart

Re: Mental Health worries

@Bee hugs 🐝 I'm sorry to hear about the stuggle going on rn. I'm thinking of you.
(Sorry I don't have advice, I suck)
===========================
Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
-Icon for Hire

Re: Mental Health worries

@missep thank you for replying, I am enjoying the job. It's got a mix of things which I like doing so it worked out really well Smiley Happy
I want to save for a new laptop, as my current one is a bit slow for the intensity and size of adjusting my photos or getting creative in photoshop with multiple layers, so that's a goal of mine currently Smiley Happy

Thanks @redhead it means a lot to know your thinking of me Heart
It's totally okay that you don't have any advice, sometimes just listening is enough Heart

I had today and tomorrow off on a drs cert due to a medical procedure. I'm just feeling flat and sad again Smiley Sad

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Mental Health worries

Hey @Bee, thanks for sharing and finally making the thread Heart It sounds like you have some goals to keep you focused on.. which is great. The fact that you enjoy the job and it has a variety of tasks is really good to hear. Sometimes that can keep us going when we go into autopilot mode. How do you think you will spend your day off tomorrow? Is there anything you can do tomorrow to help with everything else going on? Thinking of you Smiley Happy

Re: Mental Health worries

I'm so glad you're enjoying the job @Bee !
That makes me really glad Smiley Happy
Yes! A new laptop or photoshop things sound like a great 'treat your self' goal!
How have you been feeling today? Heart

Re: Mental Health worries

Thanks @Taylor-RO I've had days where autopilot mode has taken over, and I know the tasks well enough to be able to do that now Smiley Tongue Otherwise I just ask my manager and she helps Smiley Happy

I had planned to spend the day resting, however, I ended up spending the whole day having to help mum and my brother (which turned out to be sour as he started a huge argument Smiley Sad ) So I felt even more exhausted than before, I was lucky that I didn't have the adverse symptoms that my GP thought I might get.


@missep Thanks Smiley Happy It's a really nice group of people which make it easier to enjoy too
A new laptop is in my sights. I've decided that my current one I might either use as a second screen or something, I'm not sure yet, the only issue is it's just not powerful enough for my photo stuff without lagging, and the port for the internet cable is broken and the cord falls out Smiley Tongue
I was feeling quite stressed this morning, a nightmare and stress with my foot, which didn't help my mood starting work today. I made lots of mistakes this morning and it took me ages to do my first task as I kept forgetting where I was up to and having to go through it all again, and then I dropped a bunch of stuff so I was annoyed at myself. But it got a bit better as the day went on, and I'm just feeling kind of empty, numb and tired again tonight (shrugs)

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Mental Health worries

hey @Bee,  I'm glad to hear you're enjoying your new job and I'm sorry that you haven't been feeling great emotionally and mentally. I think a lot of working adults forget or underestimate that working full time actually consumes a huge amount of energy and effort, and it's much harder if you have mental and physical conditions to boot. Everyone my age that I've met working full time (including myself!) has struggled with balancing their work and self care, and most of us are still struggling.

 

I know that I'm not offering any specific advice or help but I just wanted to say that I can relate and understand your struggle! I hope that you feel a lot better after your infusion too <3

 

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Re: Mental Health worries

@DirtWitch thank you for your support Heart
Knowing that others relate helps Smiley Happy

The lack of motivation caught me at work today, a day where I was in the office alone, and it felt like a huge brick on my chest. I had no one there to use as a vice to get stuff done. Being alone I was slower and felt like I didn't get enough work done today

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Mental Health worries

hey @Bee, I'm sorry to hear that you had a bit of a slow day at work. I hope that you are able to stay compassionate with yourself; everybody has slow days and you are trying your best, plus dealing with a lot of other issues to boot! 

 

I'm not sure what kind of job you work at, but you don't have to be 100% switched on and productive for you to be a good fit for your job. Some people will do a job just to get by and that's perfectly okay! What's important is that you still find fulfilment and meaning from other areas in your life