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Mother keeping secrets?

I'm a 17-year-old female and currently in my last year of schooling. A lot has been going on with my mum lately, she's been put on antidepressants, which she hasn't talked to me about at all. And she's recently found a lump on her breast and went to get a mammogram today for it. She said it went well and they said it was probably just a cyst, but she doesn't know until she goes to the doctor. Then later on today I heard her on the phone asking if her blood test results have come back from yesterday and I asked her why she needed blood tests - I didn't even know she was getting any. She told me it wasn't any of my business and gave me the cold shoulder. I'm old enough to know whats going on, I just don't understand why she's not telling me anything. Her and my dad always talk about this stuff but she never talks about it to me, I just want to know whats going on. I'm always honest with her.

Re: Mother keeping secrets?

Hey ambe 


You are brave for coming on the forums to share this with us. It is terrible that you are feeling like your mum is giving you a cold shoulder and its terrible that your mum is going through that. It must be so frustrating not knowing what is going on and I can see why it is bothering you. 


My dad has had a heartattack and no one told me until after I finished my exams at school and then my mum had an asthma attack and I wasn't told until she was fine and I was angry that no one told me too but I saw their reasoning because they didnt want me to panic or be sad or for it to affect my school and I dont think its really about age.Have you thought maybe your mum might be trying to protect you?


Maybe you could also talk to your mum or write her a letter about how you are feeling, is that something you could do?

**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**

Re: Mother keeping secrets?


I'm not sure why she would be worried about not telling me about this stuff, seeing as she has had cancer before. I was always strong around her, I left my sobbing to when I was by myself. So I thought she would think I was a strong enough person for her to share this stuff with me. I do want to talk to her about it but I'm too scared that she might break down and cry, or I might break down and cry. It was so hard the last time she had cancer I don't think we could go through it again.

Re: Mother keeping secrets?

Hi ambe,


Sounds like you're going through a really tough time right now. It's very brave of you to share your story with us as it's something a lot of people can't do.

It sounds like you don't want to put too much pressure on your mum to talk about what's been happening because of what happened last time. I think it's very considerate of you to be thinking about this even though you want your mum to confide in you. If you want her to talk to you but don't want to pressure her too much, perhaps you could tell her that you're always open to her confiding to you and, like ruenhonx suggested, show her how you're feeling right now.