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Re: Moved Post - Meaningful relationships? What're those?

work was crap today. probably gonna be crap tomorrow too. 

 

if this is supposed to be the best time of my life, then I dread what's in store for later

Re: Moved Post - Meaningful relationships? What're those?

I want to quit. It doesn't matter that I don't have a backup plan to sustain myself, I don't care about sustaining myself any more. I'm sick of being alive, but I clearly don't have it in me to off myself (yet, anyway.) Might as well stop delaying it with this mundane job that I only do for money.

Re: Moved Post - Meaningful relationships? What're those?

How are you doing today @cole on sea?

Re: Moved Post - Meaningful relationships? What're those?

alright. I guess. I took the day off work, which probably wasn't the best idea since yesterday ended on a bad note, but I guess I'll worry about it when I get fired. I'm meant to be seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow, but it really feels like I'm just going to be wasting everyone's time, especially since I'm going to have to leave work early for it

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Re: Moved Post - Meaningful relationships? What're those?

@cole on sea I think it's awesome that you're going to have a chat with a Psych, maybe they won't have all the answers for you, but maybe they might be part of the answer or help you figure out where to head to next. I absolutely commend you for having the courage to take this step.

 

How are you feeling about the actual conversation itself?

Re: Moved Post - Meaningful relationships? What're those?

Like I'm testing the limits at work for nothing. I've already got enough shortcomings to worry about without skipping half the job

Re: Moved Post - Meaningful relationships? What're those?

So you feel a bit ambivalent about going to this?

 

Are you getting a doctor's certificate today?

Re: Moved Post - Meaningful relationships? What're those?

No, but I explained why I needed to leave early and there were no issues. I don't know if I'll get paid for the hours I skipped, but it's not really important.

 

As for the appointment, can't say I was surprised. I'm tired of being told I need anti-depressants; even if I could reliably take them every day, unless it's going to magically change everything and make me super appealing to everyone all of a sudden, it's not going to fix anything. 

Re: Moved Post - Meaningful relationships? What're those?

It sounds like you are frustrated at the psychiatrist because they suggested you take some anti-depressants. But what you really want is a meaningful relationship with someone. Thus, there's a mismatch between what you want and what the psychiatrist suggested you do. Does that sound about right?

Re: Moved Post - Meaningful relationships? What're those?

@cole on sea how do you see the solution to these problems coming about? Like all at once with one break through? Or over time with lots of steps and lessons learned?