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Moved Post: Sad all the time

I've been going through a pretty rough time lately- which even feels weird just to type out. I'm in year twelve at the moment, and school is just proving really difficult with a lack of friends. I have like two friends, but I think it's gotten a lot more difficult for me because they've been really uncaring lately. If you ever feel sad, stressed or depressed sometimes you just want to talk about it, because talking really helps. But every single time I try to mention it they brush it aside. It's just really hard for me when every single person I try to talk to just brushes everything I'm saying aside. I completely understand everyone I know is going through their own things, but I'm a really good listener and more than happy to listen to any problems my friends have, whether just to listen so they have someone to tell or for me to offer some advice. But when no one has any time for me, or values my feelings, it just really hurts. I've cried more the past two weeks than I have in a really really long time, and literally anything triggers it too. I feel as if I'm always on the brink of tears, and the only thing that makes me feel good is going to the gym- but that's one hour in a day. School is just too hard to cope with, add all of the assessment I cannot motivate myself to do because I'm so emotionally drained, and things are just really difficult right now. I really really want to start feeling better, I just don't know how.

Moved Post: Sad all the time

I realise I posted this in the wrong place but It felt good to actually type it out anyway

Re: Moved Post: Sad all the time

Hey @snorlax00 no worries at all I moved it for you Smiley Happy

 

This does sound like a hard time, year 12 is quite full on. You sound very appreciative and self aware of your friends, but am I right that you're feeling like you give a little more than you get? What sort of things do your friends say when you try and talk to them about your depression etc?

 

Something that sometimes helps, even though it may feel as though it contradicts the caring person that you are, is actually giving yourself some more love for a little while. You  mentioned you're always happy to listen etc, maybe for a little bit you need to reserve some of that energy for yourself; just until you are feeling better. What are your thoughts?

 

What do you guys reckon @FootyFan26 @safari93 @ivory etc?

Re: Moved Post: Sad all the time

Thank you!

 

Yeah, I feel as if I'm always there to listen. My one friend usually tells me about customer problems she's had at her job, and I'm more than happy to listen to any rants she may have. But it's like she has no time for what I have to say. Or if I say something, she will literally just say "she'll be right". Even if it's something really serious, and I'm feeling really, seriously sad, not as a joke but honestly really unhappy, she will just make me feel like it's completely invalid, even if that's not her intention. She's not a bad person, she's just too caught up in her own world, and once she's done getting something off her chest, she has no more time for me. 

 

Thank you for taking the time to reply to what I had to say!! I really appreciate it. 

Re: Moved Post: Sad all the time

@snorlax00 It must be really hard to not have your friends reciprocate the kindness and care that you have for them. I'm sorry to hear that things have been tough for you lately. I have also had similar experiences.
When was the last time you felt happy? I know it can be a tough question to answer... is there anything you enjoy doing that would make you feel happy?

Re: Moved Post: Sad all the time

Yeah, i understand no one is perfect, and i'm definitely not a perfect friend, but ever since i've been feeling this way i have really been trying really hard to be a caring friend, treating them how i'd like to be treated. Even when it feels like they don't even try.

 

I enjoy going to the gym, that does make me happy. That's about the only thing i've got at the moment, apart from listening to music, and watching TV shows which kinda make me forget about my own problems haha. I've been going to the gym around 5 or 6 times a week the past few weeks, but there are still insecurities involved with that and even if it is a really good workout, it's only an hour in a day so it's the school day which takes up the majority of my time, which is unfortunately the hardest. 

 

It definitely helps to know other people have had similar experiences. I guess i'm just trying to hold onto the fact that i only have four months left of high school and i'm done- it's just day by day that's proving difficult to get through- four months feels like forever. 

Re: Moved Post: Sad all the time

@snorlax00 You know that end goal is amazing. It's so good to have an end goal in sight. Life is very different after high school, new people, new experiences. Definitely check out meetup.com and sites like that because you may even find some people who are more in line with your level of compassion and empathy. You are a wonderful person, we all go through bouts of loneliness and feeling like no one has our back; I hope you know even that friend of yours - she will experience this at some point. The main thing is to do what you're currently doing, keep your physical health in check, remember that this is finite. You really are doing super well Smiley Happy And we are all here to listen when you need.

Re: Moved Post: Sad all the time

Hay @snorlax00, welcome to Reach Out!!

It's really good that you've said how typing out how you're feeling makes you feel a lot better. I definitely feel that way, and if it makes you feel better to keep putting how you feel on Reach Out and discussing things with other people on here, I'd 100% recommend it! I can tell you from experience that it works wonders Smiley Happy

I finished grade 12 last year, and I can tell you for sure that it can be a tough experience. Like you, I didn't have too many friends, as I preferred not to mix in with big groups. If you're looking for ways to find more people to hang out with, I'd definitely recommend joining a group or a club. Maybe not one affiliated with your school, because you're graduating so soon, but maybe something simple like joining a yoga club over the Christmas holidays or a uni club (if you decide to go to uni) would help.

From experience I can guarantee you that it gets better. Grade 12 is really hard, not only with work, but everyone can become quite self-centred when they're just trying to pull themselves through, which seems like how your friends seem to be acting at the moment. But once you graduate, if you're going to uni, TAFE, a job, or anything, it's a completely different environment with different people and brand new opportunities.

Let me know how the next few days go for you, and if you need anyone to talk to about grade 12 stress then I'm happy to share some study methods and mindfulness tricks that I learned! Smiley Happy

Re: Moved Post: Sad all the time

Thank you so much!

 

Yeah, you're completely right, that's how I feel everyone is really becoming self-centred and it just gets really hard sometimes to try and cope with everything alone. 

 

I have a job outside of school and i think that as a seperate social circle from school has been helping too. 

 

Thank you for your message! 

 

Any study methods or mindfulness tricks would actually be really great if you could share those, thank you! 

Re: Moved Post: Sad all the time

Hey @snorlax00

I'm sorry your having a tough time. 

 

This thread has lots of good ideas on coping strategies and mindfulness techniques. 

This thread too has some good ideas. (1000001 coping strategies) 

 

Here is a high school support squad, there are a few study tips there and other stuff. 

 

Hope this helps. 

 

 

Have you ever thought about calling a helpline when things get overwhelming. Kids helpline is pretty good, you can reach them on 1800 55 1800 or they have email and Web chat. 

There's also headspace centres you can go to if you you want to see someone face to face. 

 

 

I think it's pretty awesome your reaching out for help. Stay safe Smiley Happy 

 

 

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Trying to make my misery
just a piece of my history
A little less victim a little more victory
-Icon for Hire