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My family kinda hates me and I'm starting to hate me too

Whenever I do something that makes me happy there's someone in my family who hates me for it.

I get told that I'm too needy when I want to see a doctor.

My brother gives me disgusted looks when I stim but then he'll play around with my stim toys, ones that I spent hours making, and gets his scent all over them.

 

When I say I'm sick or in pain my parents brush me off. I need to be literally writhing in pain before they give a shit, but my brother mentions something's wrong and everyone rushes over too him.

My family keep joking about how much pain I complain of when I come to them for help but none of them actually care what it's like for me always being in so much pain.

 

The tv shows I like are annoying and now my family groans whenever they hear the theme tune.

The little noises I make when I'm happy are stupid, according to him, my jokes are stupid, my music taste is stupid my chewies are gross (he said this before I'd chewed on them, I didn't cover them in spit and leave them around or anything)

 

My cane is apparently too sparkly and too bright, my bother gives me crap about it, mum doesn't like me using it in public and she'll decide that because she can walk a certain distance so can I, even if I can barely walk for a few days after.

 

Everything I enjoy doing is "cringy" in some way for my brother or inconvenient for my parents.

My brother openly hates me and has said so on many occasions.

 

It feels like I can't be happy or show happiness without some sort of attack or criticism. 

Like I shouldn't let myself be happy because it's always bad in some way. 

I can't do anything good, I can never win and my family's making me feel like having anything that goes right for me is wrong.

I don't know why I'm so useless or why I can't do anything right. I just feel really shitty right now.

Re: My family kinda hates me and I'm starting to hate me too

Hey there @Tiny_leaf,

 

Thank you for taking the time to create this thread and share what's been going on at home for you. It can be so difficult being around people who are constantly negative about the things that make us happy and the things we can't control. 

 

Their actions are in no way your fault. You are never to blame for how someone treats you. It doesn't make you useless or any less deserving of happiness or good things. It would be great to hear about some of the things you enjoy (such as tv shows) in Hanging Out, if you feel up to. 

 

It can be hard when other people just don't understand the pain we're in, or how difficult things really are. Have you tried talking to your GP or another professional about strategies to deal with your family's comments? 


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I am finishing with ReachOut this week, say good-bye here. I'll miss you all!

Re: My family kinda hates me and I'm starting to hate me too

hey @Tiny_leaf
that sounds so so tough! can i ask if your over 16? if your over 16 your able to see a gp without your parents consent so that might be an option for you for getting what you need?
Can i ask (and more than ok not to answer) but could i ask what condition you have that you need a cane? No judgement but i may be able to suggest something

im sorry this is happening, i dont hate you, and i know many others here dont hate you either.
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: My family kinda hates me and I'm starting to hate me too

@Jay-RO my doctors are mostly useless at doing their job..

It'd be good if I could get support, but I'm honestly struggling just to get medical help from them....

 

The way my family acts makes me feel like anything I do to be happy is selfish and I don't know if it's true or not

Re: My family kinda hates me and I'm starting to hate me too

@scared01 yeah, I'm 17 but I can't get to the doctors by myself. There's no public transport there and I can't walk that far..

 

I don't even know what condition I have because getting to the doctors in the first place is so hard and when I finally get there I have to do half of their job for them.

Mum's convinced that I just don't exercise enough and need to do yoga.

Re: My family kinda hates me and I'm starting to hate me too

hey @Tiny_leaf that makes things quite tricky then doesnt it!
Would getting an Uber or a taxi on your appointment days work? i know that can be expensive sometimes though.

would you be comfortable in trying out a new gp rather the one the ones you see currently?

Headspace has gps at some of their practices, maybe its worth asking about how to see one of their gps and if they know of any community transport services
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: My family kinda hates me and I'm starting to hate me too

@scared01 not really because of social anxiety and cost....  I can't even do phone calls honestly..

I'm looking at a new doctor currently though. 

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Re: My family kinda hates me and I'm starting to hate me too

some places have online booking systems, use facebook or text messeges. @Tiny_leaf but up to you of course
i cant do phone calls either, it would make life easier if i could!
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: My family kinda hates me and I'm starting to hate me too

@scared01 that's good to know.

Re: My family kinda hates me and I'm starting to hate me too

hope something works out for you @Tiny_leaf


maybe @Bee @Sunflower18 @Esperanza67 @N1ghtW1ng @DruidChild may be able to offer some advice too
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**