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My friend is depressed

A while ago a friend told me she was depressed and a few days later told me that she was having suicidal thoughts. She also made me promise not to tell anyone. I've made her get help at different websites but none have worked or even made a difference. Whenever I suggest she get help on one of these websites or from a school Councillor ect she gets annoyed at me because she doesn't see any benefit in the few times . At one point she was even harming herself.


Many people I know have used her, manipulated her, disrespected her ect and continue to call her names (and compare her to animals because of looks) and do much more. I always feel like I should say something to them but I am extremely shy and indecisive and in the moment the words don't come out because of fear of being bullied and more.


A few days ago she asked me if I would say something at her funeral about those people (it sort of fit in with the conversation which was about a speech someone made during a funeral in a TV show.) This later turned into an argument where she was talking about whether or not everyone hates her (lots of people love her despite what I said in the second paragraph which was just boys (and some girls) being jerks).


Also in snaps we've sent each other in the last few days she's looked frustrated, annoyed, sad and stressed which has really worried me.


I am really worried about her and don't know what I can do to help.

Re: My friend is depressed

Hi @Aaron1232453,

This is a really tough situation that I have also had to try and deal with in the past. So I am hoping that I can offer some advice. I think it is great that you tried to get her some help and it is unfortunate that it had been unsuccessful. If she is not willing to speak to a councillor about her situation at the given time I feel like it is really important for you to be there for her so she has someone to talk to and someone that will listen.


Do her parents know about her situation? If so are they doing anything about it?


If not I feel like it is really important for them to know. I understand that she has told you not to tell anyone but it is important not to keep it a secret. Your friend may be mad at you for a while but if her parents know then she will be able to get help and most importantly get better. I know with my friend that she was mad at me for a while but once she got help she was very thankful.


Having a conversation with her parents may be difficult so talking to the school councillor could be another alternative, becuase well at least in my situation the councillor had to inform the parents.


Trying to look after someone else in this situation can be mentally straining for yourself so just make sure that you have someone to talk to and that you look after yourself. I am here for a chat if you ever need. 😊


I really hope this helps and everything works out okay in the end.

Kind Regards 




Re: My friend is depressed

hi @Aaron1232453 and welcome to RO

thats a pretty tough situation and it can be really scary. i know she says she doesnt want help but i think maybe you could talk to a trusted teacher about your concerns. you can tell them about the bullies, and how shes having a rough time and your really worried about her. 


**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: My friend is depressed

Hi @Aaron1232453, welcome to ReachOut! Just a heads up I've edited your post a little bit to better fit in with our community guidelines which are listed here 

As @scared01 and @Icecream1 said it may be beneficial to talk to the school counselor about what she is going through not just for her but for yourself, a situation like this can be an incredibly difficult thing to go through by yourself 

Re: My friend is depressed

Hi @Aaron1232453, it seems like you're in a really difficult situation and I'm glad that you are able to post to RO about it. .


Right now your friend seems like she is really depressed and needs some serious help, even if she refuses it. It seems like she is relying on you for her main emotional support, but that is also putting a strain on your own health and well-being and that help that she needs is way above your pay grade.


I am seconding everybody's suggestions to either speak to her parents or a school counselor, as you both need help and support in this situation.