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Re: My life is changing dramactically

Hey @MemphisBelle

it sucks that your brother has been making jokes at your expense, have you tried to explain to him about why you don't like it? 

 

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Re: My life is changing dramactically

@SmileMonkey

 

Believe me, I have tried several times to tell him this crap isn't okay but he doesn't get it.

The dumbest part is that he has stuff that upsets to bring up, but if someone brings it up to him he gets all pissed off and angry...but this okay.

 

My Mum tells me that he isn't trying to upset me on purpose, but the jokes are just his way of showing he doesn't care about the results... Odd way of showing support and really not a great way but whatever....

 

Re: My life is changing dramactically

That sucks @MemphisBelle. It's good that you tried.

Since you are a lover of film, have you seen Jeremy the Dud? 

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WE WANT YOU to tell us what kind of infobuses you'd like to see! Let us know here.

Re: My life is changing dramactically

@SmileMonkey

Nah I'm not really into comedies as much as I used to be. There is only really one comedy recently that I love and watch on a very frequent basis. The premise sounds like it will upset me though, there are certain pieces of media that I'll watch but parts of it still get to me as I relate to the characters. Sometimes it's not as serious as others and most of the time I can still watch and enjoy

 

Two examples. I am planning to watch A Monster Calls but part of the movie is a little kid dealing with the fact his mother has cancer, I came very close to nearly losing my mother that way years ago (she has fully recovered and is in good health today however)

 

The second is a Thomas the Tank Engine episode called "Henry gets the Express"...in it Gordon is being kinda a jerk so Henry is told to do his jobs for the day and everyone loves Henry for it and wants Henry to be the permanent replacement....Henry however is to nervous and scared to being doing it and wants to go back to his old jobs....I was in a similar situation to Henry at work and I felt that anxiety....I know it seems stupid to "relate" to a talking train (especially after my previous example is far worse) but that episode always gets to me...

 

There's lots of other examples

 

 

Re: My life is changing dramactically

I understand. It's good you understand what triggers you.

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WE WANT YOU to tell us what kind of infobuses you'd like to see! Let us know here.

Re: My life is changing dramactically

People keep telling me to go watch movies like Forrest Gump, Rain Man or The Good Doctor but I just can't....I'm to upset thinking about it.

 

I will admit.......I don't fully understand why people are saying it's a great thing for me

 

I feel ashamed and embarrassed by the idea of me having autism....I haven't had an awful life, there have been some wonderful and special moments for me...but I wonder what if this shit is the reason I'm the way I am and why the flaws in me are so damn massive?

 

I spent the last day crying about it...I am scared

 

I want everyone to that I am not ignoring you when you tell me it isn't a bad thing, I understand you guys want to offer and support in this situation but I can't help feeling this way and also I may not respond all the time but I do read all your messages.....it's a day and a half away nowSmiley Sad

 

 

 

Re: My life is changing dramactically

We know you're not ignoring us for sure Smiley Happy It must be super hard to process and is fair enough to feel all of these feelings. @MemphisBelle

 

Why do you think you feel shame around it? What's the thought behind that shame?

 

I personally haven't come across any stigma's towards autism in my presence - so am keen to try & understand; my old guitar teacher had autism and I didn't even know until he told me. Have you experienced some stigma in the past etc that's contributing to this shame?

Re: My life is changing dramactically

@Bree-RO

 

There's a number of reasons, I've told you about the kids who bullied me using it as an insult and I feel like they win. My Uncle thought I had it but it was for bullshit reasons, whenever he visited he would ask me lots of complicated questions and I couldn't answer them....I don't like to go into much detail about my day, work or school..... and would get picky when I didn't want to talk about something. Even though my Dad tried explaining to him "Just go easy, when he feels comfortable to talk he will" he ignored that though.

 

It makes me feel not normal, like I'm a freak....a weirdo and not in that "crazy but genius way".

I feel like it makes it hard for my friends to like me, the few friends I have.

 

I feel ashamed being who I am now

 

I was feeling fairly confident a few days ago but this has put me in a rough place

 

What if being eccentric is my own worst enemy?

 

Re: My life is changing dramactically

That really sucks about those things that happened @MemphisBelle Some people are really silly, sounds like they're projecting their own insecurity - not cool. That's cool your Dad supported you with your uncle. Have your current friends indicated it is hard on them?

 

It's okay to process shame. Shame creeps up on all of us, it's not nice. Try your best to counteract it, as annoying as it is some people's suggestions around checking out other successful people with autism is really good stuff for your head. It's kind of like positive self talk in a sense. I hope you get some rest tonight, we're thinking of you.  Heart

Re: My life is changing dramactically

@Bree-RO

 

My friends haven't said it is hard on them but I know....I just know. I was inviting to them the movies a lot and I think after a while it became to much.

 

I'm seeing a headspace counselor and I'm fully expecting to break down tomorrow

 

I'll be back later tomorrow