cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 
Highlighted

My mind is full and overwhelming

Hi everyone,

 

I've been somewhat absent and feeling unreliable recently. I've had a fair bit going on in my personal life, and I am struggling to feel okay with it. 

 

I'm going to bullet point some stuff that's really impacting me because I don't know how else to get it all out

  • We need to find a new house and have a few weeks left on our lease before our eviction date and we don't have a place  - this is scaring me, and I feel like there's nothing stable anymore
  • Dad is stressed over it all, and he gets quite angry when he's stressed, which makes thing at home very intense
  • I'm feeling low still. The new medication was working, but I feel like now that we stayed at a dose to see if it works before increasing I feel like I've just plateaued and feeling blergh and disinterested in life and everything Smiley Sad - I know I need to talk to my psychiatrist about this, I needed to get it out to people who understand.
  • I'm getting stressed with the computing system at work, it's tricky to understand and I nearly ended up in tears yesterday because I didn't understand what I was looking at, and there wasn't anyone I could really turn to ask for help with the things that frustrated me
  • I'm struggling with adulting - there's been so many expenses the last few months I haven't been able to save anything, and I'm scared I won't have enough to register my car and change the rego to my name from my dad's this year.
  • I've finally gotten enrolled in my Diploma of Accounting, and I was keen for the challenge, but when the challenge hits, I break down in tears because I don't fully grasp what I'm reading. I've had to read the first few pages 4 times and I still don't fully understand what it's saying - there's SO MANY BIG WORDS!
  • To add to this when I saw my psychologist the other week I didn't give myself enough time to write about the things I wanted and needed to tell how about how I felt over Christmas and new year, and a couple things that happened, and so I kind of just didn't tell them, because saying them is hard, and I kind of just half portrayed things were usual nothing new. Which is kind of new, except 2 things I really need to tell her, and 1 continues to impact me and I just can't figure out how to manage it.

 

I just feel so sad. Like depression has managed to tighten it's grip again, despite me continuing to show up for work, get through the days, focus on self-care, take my regular medications and fight every day to not feel like a sad blue blob.

Image result for sadness gif

 

(Edit - so this turned out to be longer than I anticipated. Sorry)


Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Highlighted

Re: My mind is full and overwhelming

Naw I’m so sorry that you’re feeling this way @Bee Smiley Sad being sad is so shitty but we’re here for you when you need Heart You have so much going on and there’s no need to apologise for the length of your post! Dealing with all this would not be easy so we are glad you have reached out Heart

When we feel so overwhelmed it’s really important that we do everything we need to do in order to keep ourselves at a point that we can bare. This can include self care (you have mentioned you have been doing self care- great work!), breathing exercises, mindfulness and making sure you take time to yourself.

In terms of finding a new house- do you have any family or close friends you could stay with if you don’t end up finding a house? I can see how this would be very stressful for both you and your parents! Sitting with your parents and talking about how each of you are going and what is going to happen may help with how you guys are feeling and reduce your dads anger. I’m sorry this is happening to you Smiley Sad

What current support are you receiving? You mentioned a psychiatrist.. how often are you seeing them? It might be a good idea to increase your support services considering how you are feeling Smiley Happy

I can definitely understand having problems related to money and being able to afford things.. are you old enough to get a loan? Or do you have anyone that could lend you some money if you don’t end up having enough?

Does the book include a glossary? I find that going through a books glossary really helps me better understand what I’m reading. I also find it really helpful to watch YouTube videos on topics I am studying as videos stick in my memory and I can understand what’s going on when there’s someone explaining it. My last option would be finding an audiobook.. do you know if there’s any audiobooks available for the book you are reading?

For finding time to write down things for your next psychologist appointment, could writing down your struggles before you go to bed every night help? When you’re getting closer to your next appointment you could then highlight the main issues to explore deeper Smiley Happy

Again I’m really really sorry that you’re dealing with all this Smiley Sad
Thinking of you Heart
Highlighted

Re: My mind is full and overwhelming

I’m sorry you are feeling this way @Bee, I feel for you so much! I know it’s difficult when things just keep piling on top of each other all at once. 
I also found becoming an ‘adult’ and doing ‘adulting’ to be so hard to transition into! And then on top of it having to transition into uni and a new system at work, it’s a lot of new things to learn! I think the fact that you’re still maintaining your routine and self care shows strength of character
-In terms of your diploma, are there any university/TAFE support places or mentors that may be able to help out? I know at my university there are Peer Assisted Study Sessions that are held. 
-Is it long before you can have another appointment with your psychologist? I also felt that I needed to write things down to talk to mine because I just don’t know where to begin! Hopefully you won’t have too long before you can see them again and that you’ll feel prepared with anything you may be able to write down in the meantime? 
I hope that everything starts to calm down for you. Hopefully then you’ll be used to your course and your work system and will be settled, and then you can look back at how strong you are for overcoming this hurdle 
In the meantime know that this community is here for you 😊♥️

Re: My mind is full and overwhelming

I'm really sorry to hear how overwhealming things are for you at the moment @Bee, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate!

 

I'm not in the greatest headspace at the moment either so I apologize in advance if my post isn't very helpful but I mainly just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you and I hope things start to calm down for you soon ❤

 

Two things you mentioned, I can really relate too at the moment..

 

Not understanding the stuff with your diploma. First off, CONGRATULATIONS for enrolling - it's a big step and one you should feel proud of making!! I totally get that it gets confusing and not everything you are reading is making sense. I had the same issue this afternoon believe it or not. If it helps, I find soooo many of my uni readings NEVER make any sense to me 😂 I know this isn't good advice to be giving at all, but I didn't do a single one of my readings last year because I found them far too overwhealming and like you, would either end up in tears or my anxiety and depression would kick in real bad. So I made the choice for myself not to do the readings. And I got by - passed really well actually. So don't let them get you down! Instead, I'd maybe look into connecting with a learning advisor if they are available? And also checking out the PASS option @liv1611 mentioned. That's if it's available where you are 😊 Not everyone is able to understand things by reading, so maybe try and get to know the people running your course and find some confidence to ask them to explain things for you instead. I think the biggest thing to acknowlegde is that you are trying your best!! It sucks when things don't make sense, but at least you are putting in the effort and trying. That's what counts most! So don't be afraid to speak out and ask for additional support. I was, and I pretty much refused because I'm so stubborn, but eventually my psych intervened and made me an appointment with some academic staff for additional support and since receiving it I've been able to learn some tips to make life a little easier when studying. 

 

With not being able to tell your psychologist what you wanted to tell her about your Christmas, I can also relate. Just wondering if you would feel comfortable sharing any of it with us here? Because I know how it can feel when things start to eat away at you. When are you seeing your psych next? Could you still maybe just get it all out on paper and then give it to her next time? Maybe explain that you were really struggling to get it out in words and didn't have the time to write it out beforehand? Because if it's still impacting you now then I think it's something worth talking about with her, and us if you'd like to share ❤ 

 

I hope you are doing okay tonight and managed to find some time to yourself today to relax a little! Thinking of you ❤

Highlighted

Re: My mind is full and overwhelming

thinking of you Heart @Bee it sounds really tough for you atm Smiley Sad
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**
Highlighted

Re: My mind is full and overwhelming

@Bananatime04 @liv1611 @MB95 @scared01 Thank you all for responding Heart it means a lot 

Prepare for another long post.

 

@Bananatime04 

Current supports:

  • GP - as often as psychiatrist, sometimes more frequently, depends on how I present when I see her.
  • Psychiatrist - roughly once a month, sometimes a bigger gap
  • Psychologist - every 3 weeks - I find this usually works well, sometimes I feel it's too long, but once a fortnight feels tooq quick 🤷‍♂️
  • Friends

In terms of house hunting, dad has finally stepped up and taken responsibility, which makes me feel a bit better. We have a few more weeks added, and all the real estate agents know he's looking now.

 

It wasn't a book I was reading it was a PDF made by the course teacher and it had only a short paragraph for a subtopic and I wasn't understanding it. But I have the prescribed textbook now, so I'll be able to look into it more soon Smiley Happy

 

@liv1611 I am linked with the Disability services section and have a contact there, but I don't really want to contact them straight away freaking out about this.


I don't think Peer Assisted Study Sessions are a thing at TAFE, and there'd be no one in my town anyway, as I have to study online to do this course as my local TAFE doesn't even offer it. We don't even have a teacher who can help with any of it locally. 

 

@MB95 I've been considering it for a while, it just took me ages to actually go online and put in my application and then it started happening. Smiley LOL

Usually, they have enough variety between linking videos and slides into the PDF content that I can manage. I think once I start reading the textbook I'll have a bit more luck getting through and understanding some of it.

 

I did eventually email my psychologist the other day about some of it. As per her rules/our agreement, I know she won't respond, and we'll talk about it next session, so I'm kind of a little anxious because it's still a week and a bit from our next appointment and I sent it sometimes after making this thread. (I don't even remember when)


Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Highlighted

Re: My mind is full and overwhelming

Hey @Bee,

 

I'm so so sorry you're going through all this, sounds like a hell of a lot to deal with. You are a really strong person, I've seen that here on the forums. I think you've been able to really reflect well on what you're going through and the struggles you're currently facing. This is great because it will help you find the answers eventually. Is there anything you can do for yourself right now to help you unwind and feel safe and secure? 

____________________________________________________
“Your now is not your forever."
― John Green, Turtles All the Way Down
Highlighted

Re: My mind is full and overwhelming

It sounds like you have so much going on @Bee. It all sounds so stressful. Smiley Sad
I can relate to not understanding the course reading. We had some readings in my course that I swear were just like trying to learn a whole other language...
It's great that you have a lot of supports though! Smiley Happy

Would it help to rank the things that you're going through by how much they're bothering you? You could also break down the things that are in your control, and which ones aren't in your control. Maybe you could share a list like this with your supports. Smiley Happy

Highlighted

Re: My mind is full and overwhelming

I'm glad to hear you emailed your psych @Bee and hope that was able to relieve some of your stress getting it out there to her? I know it's hard with her not replying and can cause more anxiety leading up to the next appointment so is there anything we can help you with in the meantime? 

 

You should be very proud of yourself for emailing her though ❤

Highlighted

Re: My mind is full and overwhelming

@MisoBear it is, and I've just had more crap dumped onto me and info come out that makes me feel so insecure and hate life so I'm kind of struggling with it all right now.
I've just tried to distract myself as much as possible. I've been avoiding study because I can't cope with not being able to instantly know or understand stuff right now.

I feel safe in terms of life, but I'm not feeling secure. And I don't know how to feel secure anymore.

@WheresMySquishy OMG YES! I like that metaphor! Learning a whole other language when you're looking at new finance and accounting things is sooo true haha

I like the idea of ranking things by how much they're affecting me. I'll probably do that a bit later when the emotions from this last blow have settled down.

@MB95 it did help a little to get it out and know that she'll have read it by next appointment. It doesn't bother me that she doesn't reply, it works for me as I won't have to remember it for the appointment and I don't have to worry about not sending it if I've already sent it (shrug)


Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart