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Re: Need people to talk to, about anything please.

@WheresMySquishy thank you, I hope the GP is good too. I agree with you, trust is important in therapy, for me aswell.

 

It's ok, thank you though. Yeah its nervewracking but exciting that this guy & I like each other. We've talked since April. 

 

I'm nervous that if we do date (online unless we meet), and that he may  be disrespectful, be creepy/sexual but I hope not. Just general stuff  because I've never dated anyone

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Re: Need people to talk to, about anything please.

@musicfan_xo  I think those are pretty valid concerns. I've been in a few situations where someone I thought was a friend or who I was helping out started saying creepy things or trying to take advantage of me being there for them. It's disappointing when something like that happens, but there are also a lot of nice and caring people too.
Something that has helped me is having an idea of where my boundaries are, my values and how I expect to be treated.

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Re: Need people to talk to, about anything please.

@WheresMySquishy I'm sorry that happened to you. I told my parents, they seem ok with it, because I've said this guy is nice before, like the other friends (they all know each other) in America too.

 

Some people suck, like whoever did that to you. I'd block that guy if he was disrespectful, creepy and/or sexual towards me, but I'm sure one of their friends especially his best friend (who I started talking to first, he introduced me to all of them) would say something, because I remember telling that guy I've been bullied before my whole life online and in person and he said "if anyone is rude to you, give me their names and I'll make sure it stops" so thats sweet.

 

What do you mean by boundaries exactly, so what's an example? Good suggestion though, thanks

 

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Re: Need people to talk to, about anything please.

@musicfan_xo  I'm glad your parents are supportive. The guy sounds nice too. Smiley Happy

We actually had a discussion about boundaries recently. We've also had other discussions about romantic and sexual relationships.
One boundary could be only meeting in a public place, which I've done with an online friend before. Another boundary could be about certain things you don't want to do for someone.

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Re: Need people to talk to, about anything please.

@WheresMySquishy thanks for that. By things you don't want to do for someone, do you mean like nothing uncomfortable/sexual, or?

 

i'll check out those links

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Re: Need people to talk to, about anything please.

@musicfan_xo  They can be anything like not compromising your values, not sacrificing your work, friends or family for someone, not changing your beliefs, not letting them use your belongings or get access to your accounts, etc. They can be things that you're not comfortable with them doing too.
For example, one of male friends once stole my login details for a paid online service while he was at my house, and then he used my account and pretended to be me online back at his house without telling me. I didn't forgive him after that because I thought it was quite a major betrayal and he basically had free reign of the bank account attached to it. Luckily, I caught him doing it before he was able to spend any money because I happened to log in while he was on the account. He never admitted it was him, but after I changed my password it stopped. Since then, that kind of thing has been a dealbreaker for me.

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Re: Need people to talk to, about anything please.

@WheresMySquishy ah okay, good idea, I get what you mean now.

 

Wow what a jerk, I'm so sorry that happened to you, that definitely is betrayal

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Re: Need people to talk to, about anything please.

@musicfan_xo oooo this sounds exciting for you! I would take it slow, consider what your expectations are and be gentle with yourself but absolutely have the best of times! What do you hope to come out of this?

 

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Re: Need people to talk to, about anything please.

@Tay100 thanks, and I'm not sure to be honest. I have a friend I went to primary school with who has a boyfriend in New Zealand and they've dated for 2 months so I asked her. She said they just message and sometimes Facetime, I don't really Facetime anyone though.

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Re: Need people to talk to, about anything please.

No issue with seeing how things go @musicfan_xo, every relationship is different as well. It sounds like it is a situation you have never been in before so it is an opportunity to learn, as long as you are comfortable Smiley Happy As @WheresMySquishy explained really well, you could think about what type of boundaries you might like to set. Both of those links refer to the experience of the community.