“Not old enough to know”

[rainbowpotato]

My nan has always been my “person” she always cares for me when my home life is less than ideal and my school life is horrible. I came out to my her today... 

she basically said i dont know who i am that im confused and that im too feminine to be gay. So i said well yeh i am fem but that doesn’t effect my sexuality. Then she di the whole weelll dont u want a family like being gay is a horrible life and u wont be accepted and u wont get a job. I said that it may have been true in the past but not now. 

Then she said that she doesn’t accept me being gay and NEVER WILL! so obviously i got upset i got up and left the conversation she then got offended by me being upset. She yhen proceeds to leave her hose to stay with her sister!! 

I just feel really shitty and alone. And scared! she lives right next door and always protected me when I was having a hard time with my parents. Now i have no where to run when stuff gets out of hand. 

[TOM-RO]

Hey @rainbowpotato,
Firstly I want to congratulate you for coming out to your grandma, it was incredibly brave of you to share something so important about yourself with someone you love. 

I'm really sorry to read about what happened to you. It can be really hard when somebody says that they don't accept a big part of you, especially when that person is so close as nan is to you. Sometimes people can be cruel or say the wrong thing before they've had time to process the situation. It's possible that the things your gran said were coming from a place of confusion or concern, especially if she still has the biases of her own generation. Hopefully by giving her a bit of time and space to process what you've told her, you can have a much more open and accepting conversation with her about it. You are completely correct when you told her that not only does your femininity not affect your sexuality, but also that being gay will not impact your ability to get a job, have a family, or live a long happy and healthy life. 

I think it also is important that you also start building some more supports around yourself.  We have resources on support services that you can use, including online and phone-based services, and of course you can post here on RO for support from other LGBT members on the forums It might also be a good idea to get in contact with Kids HelpLine or eheadspace as they might be able to help with those feelings of loneliness which you mentioned

Hope this helps 

[rainbowpotato]

Thanks for the support @TOM-RO. Im giving her space. I feel like this experience has made me stronger and braver. Im starting year 10 tomorrow and i feel like nothing can hurt me anymore because ive been through this. The pain seems worth it. My friends have been super supportive and really picked me up. 

[basketofmonkeys]

Hey @rainbowpotato, I'm so impressed at how you managed to turn around a grim situation and are still looking at the positive side. It's great that you have such a supportive circle of friends, and that you are seeing the positives that can come out of difficult situations. Good luck for starting grade 10 also! How are you feeling about that?