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Not sure what to do

Hi guys, 

I'm new on here and just thought to try give it a go.. 

I'm struggling with alot of different things atm and feel like I'm starting to really lose my mind.

I've recently moved and started uni in a place I don't know anyone so feeling pretty alone. 

I finally worked up the courage to see a psychologist but am worried I'm getting too attached to her because every time something good or bad happens she's the one I want to tell!! But then I also really struggle to tell her when I'm not okay because she is working really hard with me and I don't want to let her down so I'm scared to tell her the truth... 

Any suggestions? Or is there anyone that's had a similar experience when seeing a psychologist? I just feel really stupid and pathetic for wanting to talk to her all the time but then also not being able to tell her things!?!? 

Re: Not sure what to do

hey @MB95 and welcome
its really great to hear your have such a good relationship with your psychologist. I do understand your concerns about getting too attached though. do you think you could talk to her about what you've said here- the wanting to tell her everything, worrying about getting to close to her, but also struggling to talk about the things that are bothering you out of fear youd disappoint her?
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: Not sure what to do

Hey @scared01 

Thanks for replying - I appreciate it.

She knows I'm worried about getting attached but I'm not sure she quite understands how attached I get to people. Like I stupidly keep wishing she wasn't my psychologist so I could hang out with her outside of our sessions and call her whenever I wanted? Like surely that's not normal?! 😔 I just feel weird about it and don't want to freak her out because she really is amazing and I don't want her to not want to work with me anymore. 

We also spoke about how I'm struggling to tell her things and she's put a plan in place but I also find myself still not telling her the whole truth because I'm scared of losing her? 

I just don't know how to get myself to be completely honest and trust that she's not going anywhere? 

Re: Not sure what to do

that is really tricky @MB95
I can hear your concerns around this for sure!
maybe would you consider doing a session with another psychologist and see how you feel after it?
sometimes a fresh perspective from someone else can be helpful in these cases. sometimes when we get too close to our health professionals they become more like friends rather then trying to confide in them ie only wanting to share the good things, not wanting to disappoint etc. maybe this would be helpful or something to consider.
you may even talk to your current psychologist about it and just ask for a different perspective about the situation?
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: Not sure what to do

@drpenguin @Taylor-RO @WheresMySquishy @Jess1-RO @mrmusic may be able to share some experiences too
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: Not sure what to do

Kind of funny you say that @scared01 because I actually have an appointment with one of the other psychologists in two weeks as mine is away. I have thought about talking to her about it to get another perspective because it's been stressing me out so much. Like my psychologist is amazing, she is so caring and kind and patient with me, but also so professional. Like she hasn't crossed any lines or made me think we are friends or can be friends, that's just me with my stupid attachment issues. I just don't know how to stop myself from feeling this way and wishing I had someone like her in my life that wasn't my therapist you know? 

Re: Not sure what to do

hey @MB95
maybe instead of talking to your psychologist about it, speak with the new one that's been arranged while your regular one is away and just see how you go. you may find that the new psychologist suits your situation better or you feel you can be more open with them, if that's the case then perhaps consider switching. you might like to take the opportunity to talk with the new psych about your concerns that you've shared here, they wont judge you but they can take the step back and see if from both sides as well.
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: Not sure what to do

Hi @MB95! Welcome to the forums!

I think it's great that you've started seeing a psychologist. It can be so hard to work up the courage to reach out and seek support, so well done! Smiley Happy
I think what you're experiencing is a really common issue. I also find it hard to tell my supports how I'm feeling, especially when treatment hasn't helped.
What has helped me is recognising that there is no 'one size fits all' treatment, and that it can take a lot of trial and error before you find something that works for you. I think a lot of psychologists and professionals enjoy receiving feedback because it helps them know if they're on the right track.

I sometimes keep a record of my symptoms (there are lots of apps like this, or you can make your own chart/tracker) or write down what I want to say to a professional, because it's easier for me to remember to say how I feel that way.
Are you able to get your psychologist's email address? Some people find it easier to communicate via email.
I think @scared01's advice is great too. Smiley Happy

Re: Not sure what to do

Hey @MB95 Smiley Happy

 

As someone who sees a psychologist frequently myself, I do have moments where I have that need to share with my psychologist what happened. For me, this thought is usually about gaining support, but it can also be around sharing with her how I managed in that situation etc. I guess it depends on the why you feel you want to share with the psychologist and if they are the only person you feel like sharing it with, eg there are things that I'll go I must tell my psych, but I also tell some close friends too because they understand. I think @scared01  has a good idea of speaking to the other psychologist about it and seeing what they say Smiley Happy


This part stood out for me

"We also spoke about how I'm struggling to tell her things and she's put a plan in place but I also find myself still not telling her the whole truth because I'm scared of losing her? 

I just don't know how to get myself to be completely honest and trust that she's not going anywhere? "

This is quite a full question. And I wanted to confirm/ask, is the fear of losing her the only thing holding you back from being completely honest? Or could there be other reasons too?

 

I personally struggled a lot with talking to my psychologist and being open with her. For me it came down to physically talking about things. For as long as I can remember, I could always write my feelings more eloquently and truthfully than what I could speak to them. So for me whenever I had something really hard to express I would write it down and either email or hand it to her directly. It's still something I sometimes do today, but I'm getting to the point where I don't have to rely on it as much anymore Smiley Happy

I wonder if showing your psychologist this thread or printing some excerpts from what you've written here and handing them to the psychologist might be a way to help express them to her?


Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Not sure what to do

@MB95  it is not super weird to feel attached to a psychologist. you talk about some really intense stuff with them and if you did that with any other person you would likely be very close and spend a lot of time with them and it can be hard for us to remember that a psychologist isnt like a best friend we share everything with. it is also much easier to get attached if you don't have a lot of friends because the psychologist forms a big part of your social interactions. if it is stressing you out and causing problems then it is probably best to talk to either another psychologist or the one you are seeing about what to do because it is best to deal with these things early on.