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Re: Not sure what to do

Hey @MB95,

I agree about hearing things from people that have or are currently experiencing issues being helpful. Although, you'll find like 80% of Psychs have experienced mental health issues and was likely an influencing factor in their career choice. Which is also good because they do understand, they just may not share it in that professional setting.

So my last session is next week with my psych and I decided (with the help of my Mum) that a card and a nice, proper pen was something he might like. He's been so lovely and financially understanding that I decided he deserved even more than chocolates (plus he's a male and I don't know anything about him and so a pen is generic). Smiley Tongue I would actually love to give him a hug because he has been so kind and generous, but the whole vibe i've given him over the two years has been that I hate affection so he may just be like, "what the heck?!" and wouldn't expect it haha. And I don't want it to end awkwardly.
I'll probably just do my mini bows and one hundred thank you's hahaha 😃

Regarding seeing male psych's, I think out of the roughly 12 or so people i've seen, I think i've had around 4 or 5 males, so a fair few really. I'll definitely say it's different but it's also different every time you see any new psych. I don't know if it has anything to do with the gender, but I found it easier to say things without worrying about their response when speaking with a male. Perhaps it's that ingrained (not necessarily true) social construct that women are more responsive or sensitive or something. Idk, it's just a minor thing I did notice in that there was less over-thinking with the male psychs but I can't tell you why. It could also just be that I simply didn't get so worried anymore as time went on.
However, I didn't like to discuss romantic relationship issues with them. Even this one of two years, I either skimmed over things or had to really put on a brave face to tell him anything about it. I think that's because I feel embarrassed more than anything else and it's things I haven't even told my Mum!

If the chance arises or you are referred to a male in future, I definitely wouldn't let their gender put you off. It's something to try and just see how you go. They certainly won't be offended if you're reason to discontinue is because you feel a little uncomfortable him being a male (it happens all the time and for both genders).

It's an interesting topic really and I always thought i'd never speak to a male about it and yet here I am...

Re: Not sure what to do

Hey @Bee

 

Please don't apologize!! I totally understand that everyone has their own shit going on and appreciate that we'll all get back to eachother eventually when the time is right 😊 I've also been finding this quite overwhealming as I didn't realise how supportive people were on here, so trying to keep up and then also read other peoples posts to help them is not an easy task! Especially when trying to physically balance it with your own mental wellbeing.. 

 

I appreciate you sharing your experiences and advice regarding the homework. I totally get it when you say it can be hard to put the effort in.. some days I plan to do it but it's like I do everything in my power to avoid it. Some days I'll even just lay in bed thinking about how I should be doing it but just don't have the physical or mental strength to do it.. and it sucks and I always feel so guilty about it. Like you though, I think I learnt the hard way a couple weeks ago during my exam when I had a huge melt down and had to take a break. I knew my psych had given me a tonne of techniques but because I hadn't practiced any of them like I was meant to it was as if my brain just went to mush and I went into full panic mode. It sucked. So I'm going to use this break to try and catch up on everything she's given me so I can hopefully start fresh next year!! 

 

Thanks for all your other tips regarding communicating during therapy sessions ❤ I often try to keep a small list in my phone of a few things I've struggled with during the week and want to bring up and then I'll read it quickly before I go in.

 

But guess what!?!? I totally forgot to mention this... @Bee  @Alison5  @Eden1717 - I finally gave my psych the first thing I'd written out for her that I wanted to tell her in session but couldn't bring up!! I had planned to give it to her first thing but we got completely distracted and into things right away and like the last time, I couldn't seem to bring it up with her.. we had actually finished our session and were out in reception booking my appointment for the new year when I decided I wasn't going to let myself leave without giving it to her. So I asked her for 2 more minutes of her time and we went into her office and I gave it to her!! I was shaking like crazy and felt like a complete idiot but I gave it to her and bolted outta there 😂 She emailed me later about something else but thanked me in the email for being open and honest with her and that she appreciated the little letter. So thank you guys!! It's because of your support that I was able to push through and give it to her!! I remember saying to myself as I was standing in reception that I needed to give it to her because I wanted to be able to share the achievement with you guys!! So thanks! I feel like writing is going to play a HUGE role in my psych sessions next year 😊 Soooo much easier!! 😂😂 

Re: Not sure what to do

Yeah I guess that's true @Alison5, I just see my psych as really having her shit together so I guess I haven't really thought much about the fact that she's most likely dealt with similar situations in her own life! 

 

I think the idea of a nice pen is brilliant!! Totally appropriate 😊 And I also think that if you really feel like you want to give him a hug then you should go for it! I can understand you don't want it to end awkwardly though because I'd be the same, maybe just wait and see how you're feeling on the day and take it from there? He might not find it awkward, he might actually appreciate it like your other psych you mentioned because it is so unexpected and out of the blue? Usually those types of hugs mean more to people because it means they've really managed to get through to you..? Try not to overthink it though! And make sure you let me know how you get on ❤

 

Yeah at the moment I cannot picture myself ever speaking to a male about things but only time will tell I guess.. thanks for sharing your outlook on it though! I do notice I am forever stressing about how my psych might react to something because she is so motherly so I guess that would be one less stress if I saw a male lol 

Re: Not sure what to do

Hi MB95,

Firstly, congratulations for giving your psych the letter! That is such an amazing achievement! and you should be proud and it’s a great way to end this years sessions.

Thanks for the advice with my own psych. I think I’ll see how I go on the day. But I’ve already decided that no matter what, I won’t get upset if I do or don’t. And yeah, that was my thought about me really showing how helpful he was given that I don’t normally hug people. But I’ll just see 😊

Hope you had a good day and you should be super proud of yourself. Also, don’t feel pressured to respond. I had like a year where I just didn’t respond and didn’t even sign in. There’s no time pressure and so feel free to take your time So you don’t get overwhelmed 👍🏼

Re: Not sure what to do

@MB95 Heart I feel you! I often feel so warmed by the level of support users give each other! There’s so much to read and chat about, it’s definitely a challenging task to know where people are up to, but that’s why we have a large team of staff, mod squad, and volunteer mods such as myself and our volunteer builder team!

I hope you’re able to work through some of the techniques and find what helps you best. Smiley Happy

 

I’m SO VERY PROUD OF YOU FOR GIVING HER THE THING YOU’D WRITTEN! It’s super nice that she emailed you and thanked you for the writing.

This was something like my reaction:

(Okay the grinch feels a little creepy, but I totally don't mean it to be creepy ahaha, it's the most relevant smile gif I can find ahaha)

 


We reflected on the joys of 2019


Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Highlighted

Re: Not sure what to do

I love the grinch gif @Bee - gave me the little laugh I needed! 😂

 

Thanks for being supportive about it guys and sharing my excitement. I know it's a pretty small thing but for some reason I struggled with it a lot so I appreciate you letting me share it with you both! 

 

And I also appreciate what you said @Alison5. I don't feel pressured responding because I really enjoy connecting with people on here, espcially you two. Idk, I just find I can relate really easily to you both. But I think I am going to take a couple days break. I just feel like I'm going backwards at the moment and am really struggling to stay positive so don't want my messages to start sounding all negative on here because it's not fair on you guys to be reading them. I had a feeling this might happen as it often does. I was on such a high after seeing my psych on Wednesday but think everything is really starting to hit me now.. that I can't contact her for 5wks (I struggle with 1wk usually), and that I'm heading home soon which brings a whole lot of other challenge in itself. Plus my psych wants me to try open up to my parents about my struggles and I'm super stressed about that because I'm not sure I'm ready (or that they are either), but I also really don't wanna let my psych down.. 

 

Idk, I'm just feeling really numb and disconnected at the moment and I just wish it would end. I feel like every time I make one step in the right direction it's followed by a thousand steps in the wrong direction. And I'm just sick of it. It makes me really not want to bother with things anymore because I keep trying to put in all this hard work and then still just end up feeling like this anyway. It's just frustrating. And I don't mean to sound so negative because I am trying to keep going but it's just hard when I get to this point. Which is why I'm gonna take some time out and try sort myself 👍 

 

But thanks for always being amazing you two! Hopefully I'll be back soon and more positive ❤

Re: Not sure what to do

Hi @MB95, it sounds as though you have a tough few weeks ahead. Going without a vital part of our support network can definitely be a challenge. I am sorry that it is causing you to feel so low and out of place. I was wondering if you have a plan on how to cope for the next five weeks? Also, is this something you discussed with your psychologist?

 

It is up to you whether you open up to your parents - you know the situation best. I always try to keep in mind that although we are scared and worried about judgement, our friends and family cannot help us if they don't know we need help. Sometimes I also try to think about how I would feel if a family member or friend reached out to me.. I would love to be there for them and would wonder why they hadn't told me sooner. That being said, I do want to acknowledge that some spaces are not safe for us to share. Part of figuring this out could be considering whether your family's advice and support is likely to be helpful or harmful? Smiley Happy

 

We are so glad to hear that you appreciate our community here. Deciding to take a break from the forums to protect your well-being is brave and proactive - please remember we are always here to listen Heart We also have a list of immediate support services here, if you find yourself needing someone to talk to.

Re: Not sure what to do

@MB95 I'm glad the grinch gif made you laugh Smiley Happy
Looking back at it now, I have that same feeling as when I read your post! It just makes me smile!
I wanted to reiterate, that you were very brave and courageous by sharing the writing with your psych. It can be quite a challenge to begin to open up fully and be completely honest, and for some people, it can be so tricky and feel so daunting like it has for you and I.

I am proud of you for noticing what is helpful for you and the community at this time. Heart look forward to seeing you back when you're ready.
The struggle of not seeing psych's over the Christmas/new year period is one I have struggled with myself too previously. For me, coming online, partaking in everyday life activities, connecting with others and using crisis lines when I need to has helped me get through that patch in previous years.

Feeling numb and disconnected are 2 emotions I really struggle with when they are combined together too. You're not alone in this Heart

One step forward and then steps backwards can be quite common, I know I certainly faced it, and I'm sure lots of other people can relate on some level too. It's 100% okay to feel frustrated by it. It's okay to feel like you want to give up on trying to move forward, but know that progress is a challenge, you're trying to teach yourself/ your brain new ways to cope and handle things when you're feeling at your worst, and it's bloody tough. I do hope you're able to persevere through the tough parts and continue to work through them, even if it's slow progress, because when you take a step that you never thought you'd reach it's the most incredible and empowering feeling. I hope everyone who currently feels low and starting their journey is able to experience that someday Heart

 


We reflected on the joys of 2019


Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Not sure what to do

Hi @Taylor-RO

Thanks for the link to the list of supports, I do appreciate it. My psych has written out a card for me too with all their numbers but honestly, I'm far too scared to make the call even when I really need it, and I've tried their online/text options but didn't find them very helpful which is why I use Reach Out instead. I find people on here actually listen and it's so much easier to connect because we can relate to each other. But thankyou anyway!! 

 

I guess my psych and I tried to discuss me coming home but we've been a bit distracted in our last few sessions with trying to sort out other things that have been going on for me. So we ran out of time to really focus on how to get through the next few weeks without her. She has given me an xmas workbook to work through and we were hoping to go through it in session but ran out of time. So I looked at it a couple days ago on my own but just became really overwhealmed so haven't actually looked at it since because I haven't been doing too great and found it kind of stressful. I feel like I'm slowly starting to improve a bit so was going to try and go through it again sometime over the weekend if I'm feeling up to it.

 

Thanks ❤

I'm home now and really struggling. I'm so used to being the strong one that I don't know how to tell my parents and really not sure I want too. They have alot going on at the moment themselves so I'm just playing it by ear and trying to work out what my best option is. My brother recently told them he thinks he has anxiety and I don't think they've really done anything to help him. It's not that they don't care, because they really are great parents, but they just don't seem to have the time I guess? Or know how to approach it or what to do? Idk. I'm just scared the same will happen with me and I honestly can't afford to be let down again at the moment. Especially by my own parents.. 

 

Re: Not sure what to do

Thanks @Bee ❤

I needed to be reminded of that right now, so thank you. It gave me the little confidence boost that I'm in need of at the moment. I am glad I was finally able to give it to her and hoping it will get easier giving them to her as time goes on..

 

I felt like I really needed a break away from here because I wasn't in a good place and didn't want to be putting it on everyone else. But I have noticed I've been missing you guys and the connection so am going to try engage in a few more chats on here in the hope it'll keep me going till holidays are over and my psych is back. I do find RO helpful, sometimes it's just hard when things are really bad but you can't talk about it on here. Which I totally get. It's just hard. 

 

Thanks heaps for your beautiful message. I really am wanting to get better so am fighting hard. Sometimes it's just so much easier said than done which you would know. But I'm trying my best to acknowledge that it won't all be smooth sailing. I'm also home now and seeing my family has triggered a lot of shit and also kind of made me want to get better even more so I can be there for them properly!! 

 

Thanks again for your message ❤