cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 
Highlighted

Re: Not sure what to do

@MB95 I love that you did this! It's so awesome! Heart


Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Highlighted

Re: Not sure what to do

Hi @MB95

 

I am still catching up on all the threads from over the Christmas break, and saw this amazing mind map you have made. Such a great idea to collate the ideas from the community Heart 

 

Having something visual to prompt when you are feeling overwhelmed is brilliant, I might try this for myself and recommend this strategy for others too Smiley Happy 

__________

Check out our community activities calendar here
Highlighted

Re: Not sure what to do

Hi guys, 

 

My anxiety is through the roof today and I just need someone to talk to and be brutally honest with so I hope you guys don't mind. I just need some advice and opinions.. 

 

Basically I'm trying to find somewhere to live atm for my year of uni and I found a place with some housemates that seem cool except it's unfinished. So today I went looking at furniture and I was so out of my comfort zone I felt sick. I was so nervous and couldn't stop shaking and the fact everything is so expensive made it worse cause I told myself I was stupid for even thinking I could make this work. My psych actually called while I was out looking to confirm our appointment for tomorrow and for some reason that just made me feel even worse. Like my anxiety started going next level. I just freaked and had to bail and give up on the whole thing. 

 

So I went to the shopping centre cause I had to fill a script and the whole time I was shaking cause I thought everyone was looking at me and judging me. Like deep down I know they're not but when I'm in that state I can't seem to talk myself out of it. I just wanted to get what I needed and get out. Shops stress me out enough as it is let alone when I'm like that already. 

 

I felt like I was going to vomit so I went and got some food and forced myself to eat cause I hadn't eaten anything yet and wondered if that wasn't helping. But I also have this bad habit of eating shit food and lots of it till I feel even worse about myself when I'm going through those emotions. Like I bought a hotdog, milkshake and doughnuts and pretty much inhaled it before feeling worse and telling myself how pathetic and gross I am and that I should know better not to give into it because it never ends well. Then the numbness and the self harm/suicidal/worthless thoughts creep in and that's pretty much me done for the day. 

 

I just don't know how to deal with it. It's like one moment I'm only slightly anxious and am able to keep it mostly under control and then the next it's impossible to get a grip on and I just have to bail and go to somewhere I feel comfortable and safe with no one around!? I hate it and I'm so over it!!!!! I'm so sick of trying so hard to fight it and then always ending up back here. 

 

I just wanted to know if anyone else experiences the same sorts of things? Especially with the whole stress eating thing? And how you might deal with it? Cause I really am trying!!!! 😔

Highlighted

Re: Not sure what to do

@MB95  There are many people who share your feelings you are not alone coping with stress is hard, have you looked into the student accommodation options at your uni? I much prefer the student accommodation as it is furnished and cheaper as utilities are included already. Plus it is quiet and I get my own space. Shopping can be very stressful I have to go with a plan for what I want and go in and out quickly. 

Highlighted

Re: Not sure what to do

Heya @MB95 

 

Isn't moving such a stressful time? You are definitely not alone when it comes to feeling completely overwhelmed by the task of getting yourself set up. We actually have an article here on Moving out of home, that touches on some of this, if you ever wanted to give it a read Smiley Happy 

 

Also, I totally agree with @Eden1717 - shopping centres can be very overwhelming for a lot of people. I often get a sensory overload, which makes me feel/act differently than I would in a calm environment. 

 

It sounds like you had a big day and that does lead to those spiralling thoughts of self harm/suicide, for some people. I want to acknowledge that it's actually really amazing that you pushed yourself to eat something, because not eating does impact mood but can be sooo hard to do when you're feeling anxious. I know it's really hard to not beat yourself up, but at this stage as long as you're putting something into your body, you are doing so well. One thing at a time Heart 

 

Do you have anything nice you can do for yourself after the day you've had? 

Highlighted

Re: Not sure what to do

Thanks @Eden1717 and @Bre-RO 

 

I did look at the uni accommodation last year but it's heaps cheaper for me to live off campus, plus I'm not fresh out of school so am a bit older than most on campus so not sure I'd fit in. 

 

I'm not worried about being out of home because I've lived away from my family for a while but it's just not having a base and feeling really unsettled that's stressing me out. I'm staying at a friend's place at the moment but I feel kind of awkward cause we met at uni and aren't super close yet so I don't want to be tredding on anyones toes. She's been amazing and so accommodating but I just feel useless and pathetic that I don't have my shit together like she does. And my depression has kicked in big time so I'm losing motivation to do anything and even bother finding a place. Like honestly, part of me just doesn't give a shit if I end up having to sleep in my car. I just feel really down and shit. I just wish I had someone to sort it all for me because I can't deal with the anxiety and negative thoughts right now. I'm just exhausted. 

 

Thanks for your comment about the food @Bre-RO. Do you think it's something I need to be worried about at all? Because it seems to always be a coping mechanism for me but just amplifies my negative thoughts and depression. 

 

I didn't get up to anything because I had a 10hr shift but I guess it helped take my mind off things for a bit which was nice. I felt pretty disconnected and angry but was constantly busy so it helped. 

 

I'm really sorry if my post is boring and crappy to read. I'm trying to keep it positive but am really struggling at the moment. I have my first psych appointment tomorrow since the break so am hoping that might help but I'm so stressed about it and kind of don't want to go anymore. I feel like life was easier just dealing with things on my own. Idk. Sorry for the rant. You don't have to reply, I just needed to try get some shit off my chest so thanks if you bothered reading to the end of this ❤

Re: Not sure what to do

@MB95  Idk what uni you go to but my uni half the people that live in student accommodation are not fresh out of school neither am I. But if it is cheaper then that makes sense. Would it help to make a list of everything you have to do and even just do 3 things per day? Motivation can be hard to deal with but maybe small steps will be easier than trying to do everything at the same time. If you are worried about the eating then perhaps you could talk to your psychologist about it...

Highlighted

Re: Not sure what to do

I read through your whole passage and I think it’s good that you find it helpful to let it out here. As a student living alone, I have those thoughts and feelings too. Like why am I still not mature enough or why am still not as good as others in taking care of my life. I think you are doing great by being aware of it, and working so that it doesn’t get to you. 

Highlighted

Re: Not sure what to do

Thanks guys.

 

Has anyone on this thread ever called a helpline? Like lifeline maybe? I think I really need to talk to someone. I thought seeing my psych might help things but it's made me even worse and now my thoughts are really strong and I just feel so alone and don't know where to go. 

 

I'm safe but I'm really not coping and don't know what to do. I just feel so numb and sad and angry and distant and don't want to be here. Calling a helpline scares me cause I don't know what they are going to say or if I will even be able to talk so just wanted to ask for some advice? 

 

I'm okay. I just need help and someone to genuinely care. 

Highlighted

Re: Not sure what to do

Hey @MB95

 

I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling with your thoughts after your therapist appointment. It can really suck when we do something that is beneficial for us in the long run, but can be painful, uncomfortable, or just plain feels bad in the immediate aftermath. This is super true for therapy, cause we can often bring up feelings or thoughts that hurt, but may not have time to fully resolve them in the session. 

 

Your idea of calling a helpline is a really great one for the interim, particularly if you're dealing with some difficult thoughts. Most helplines are focused on crisis support so they are the best thing to call when you're feeling like hurting yourself or anything like that. Most helplines will also often just let you chat for a little while and let off some steam if you need to. While what they do is often different to the sort of support/structure of a 'normal' or conventional therapy session, it can still be really helpful to just have someone listen. 

It can even be helpful to explain that you're feeling a little nervous to call, or that you just want a chat, because then the counsellor knows where you're coming from. Sometimes they may have to end the call early because of other factors (e.g. the phone lines being really busy that night, etc), but don't be discouraged if they do! It's not cause of you, it's just other things getting in the way unfortunately. 

I hope this helps! And best of luck with your call!! Heart