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Re: Not sure what to do

Thanks guys ❤

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Re: Not sure what to do

I'm having a really shitty day. I got some news earlier that was really triggering for me and I don't know what to do. I just feel sick and disconnected and like nothing matters. We are going to die anyway so what's the point in even living? I know that sounds dramatic but I'm just really struggling to figure out why. I'm trying real hard not to let this take over but it's brought up a lot for me and I'm already exhausted so really struggling to stay positive. I want to cry but I can't. I just feel numbness. I just had an appointment with my GP and I really struggle to tell people when I'm not okay and she said I sound like I'm doing real good. I just wanted to tell her what was really going on but couldn't. And now I just want to talk to my psych. I don't even know what I'd say. I know this sounds stupid but I kind of don't even want to talk to her, I just want to hear her voice? I don't know. I just feel like I really need someone. Sorry for the rant I just don't know what to do. I feel really off and needed to tell someone.

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Re: Not sure what to do

The news nowadays are pretty devastating and it must be hard for you.. we are all going to die at one point but during the time that we are alive, what do you think is valuable to live for? Like perhaps think about something that makes you feel alive? I also struggle to think about the purpose of my existence. After I have thought long and hard, for me, living for my parents who brought me up and helping people is what I find it worth living for.. of course, that purpose might change any time too.. 

We in this forum are here for you if you need to talk it out. Also, you can try checking out the online apps and tools in the Reachout websites. 

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Re: Not sure what to do

I am sorry to hear that you received some news earlier today that triggered you @MB95. It sounds like you are in a challenging situation right now but it is great to see that you have reached out here for support. I hope that it has been helpful for you to put your thoughts on the forums and to express the way that you are feeling. I think you are really strong and resilient as you are still trying to stay positive even though are feeling exhausted and numb. I hope that you will start to feel better soon Heart

Are you able to reach out to your psychologist or another counselling service to have a chat with someone? It might make you feel a bit better if you are able to talk with a professional over the phone. Besides calling and getting some support over the phone, is there anything else that you can do today/tonight to help you feel a bit better?
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Re: Not sure what to do

Thanks @Wathan I do find family gives me a reason. 

 

Thanks @TOM-RO. I know I'll push through like I always do, the pain just hurts and I really want to talk to someone. I could call my psychologist cause she usually has the last hour of her day free I think but I know she's busy and I really don't want to annoy her. I tried to make a promise to myself that I wouldn't contact her between sessions anymore no matter how tough it gets cause I just feel like I'm causing her extra work which I really don't want for her!!! 

 

I am meant to have an appointment with her tomorrow at 9am but the way I've been today I have a feeling I'll be up most of the night and not awake in time. I just wish I had my appointment now instead of tomorrow cause I think I'm going to cancel tomorrows one cause I don't want to waste her time. 

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Re: Not sure what to do

Hey @MB95 , I'm sorry for the late reply to this one - from what you've said about your psychologist here, it sounds like you have a really great relationship with her, and I don't think you would annoy her by contacting her. Did you end up deciding to give her a call? It sounds like you've had a really rough day, and I definitely don't think you'd be wasting her time Heart 

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Re: Not sure what to do

Thanks @Janine-RO, it's all good, I can only imagine how busy you must be keeping up with everyones posts and trying to show everyone some kind of support! I really didn't want to annoy her, and I know you say I wouldn't be and I know she is usually relieved when I call her instead of not calling but I just feel like a waste of space so decided not to bother her. I did call to cancel my morning appointment though and the guy on the desk is pretty up to date with me (we're good mates haha) so he was worried about me canceling and ended up shuffling a few things round to fit me in with her later in the day which was great. I'm just trying SO HARD not to annoy her between sessions because I know I'm not her only client and I need to start trying to deal with things on my own! I ended up meeting one of the girls at uni to work on an assignment so that kinda helped distract me for a few hours tonight 👍 And then I'll chat with her tomorrow and chill out on here till then 😊

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Re: Not sure what to do

Hey @MB95 , 

 

It's great to hear that they were able to shuffle things around for you so that you can see your psych today Smiley Happy It's great that you were able to get a bit of work done on an assignment too. I remember you mentioning that you were getting into running again, have you been doing any more of that lately? 

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Check out our community activities calendar for June 2020 here
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Re: Not sure what to do

Thanks @Janine-RO. It was good to talk to her but I feel like it's just made me feel even worse for some reason. I don't know, it was just a very weird conversation and I feel like I didn't really get to talk to her. I haven't run since that last time cause I ended up in so much pain! But I did go and explore a national park on Monday and did a really steep 2hr hike. I stupidly did it in thongs so am paying for it big time now 😂 But once I can walk again without so much pain I might try and go for a run. I'm really not feeling great today but I'm really trying to just push through and be positive!!

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Re: Not sure what to do

I feel so worthless. All I can feel is complete numbness and like I want to throw up. My stupid suicidal thoughts are getting so hard to ignore. I've been at uni for a couple hours and haven't made any progress cause I can't concentrate on anything. I'm trying so hard to fight it but I can feel it taking over my body again. I know that probably sounds rediculous but it's just how I feel. Like I'm slowly losing control and can't do anything about it.