cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 
Highlighted

Re: Not sure what to do

Thanks @Janine-RO. Sorry it's taken me a few days to respond, I just don't have a lot of energy at the moment and am trying to ignore a lot of what's going on for me at the moment because I'm really struggling to cope. So when I do come on here I just find it so much easier to help others rather than ask for help, even when I do really need it.. idk. 

 

As much as I've thought about it, I don't think I want to delete my account. I feel like I've made my friends on here now and don't want to risk losing them. I think I'll just try and remind myself that anyone can see this. I think the paranoia has subsided a little though, cause realistically I guess my family and psych would probably never check these out.. but idk the thought of it just really freaks me out cause I've been the most open I've ever been with anyone on here and that scares me for them to see. I'm just scared cause I feel like my username is far too obvious. I clearly didn't think that one through 😔 Anyway.. I'll get over it eventually. I think I need this community more than I don't so I'll learn to accept it. 

 

If you have any suggestions on coping with living with a couple when you're as single and lonely as they come then sure, please share! I'm still trying to find a place, just not having any luck.. 🙃 

Highlighted

Re: Not sure what to do

So glad you're staying @MB95! I feel like we're all a bit paranoid on here but the chances of people you know reading this stuff is really low. And even if they did, you're not doing anything wrong and there would be ways the mods could help if for some reason someone tried to tell people who you were on here? Idk why anyone would do that but yeah! They keep us as safe as possible on here Smiley Happy But yeah, you're not alone in feeling paranoid- I know I am!
Highlighted

Re: Not sure what to do

Yeah idk, like my biggest fear is them knowing some of how I feel and then them confronting me about it and wanting to talk and help which I don't want. I will go to them when I'm ready if that makes sense? Idk. I just don't really want them knowing how I feel? Not yet anyway.. okay lets stop talking about this before the paranoia takes over again cause I can feel my thoughts going there 😔 

 

I just miss chatting with you guys. With everything going on I just feel so alone and I guess avoiding everyone on here just made it so much worse cause you're the ones I would normally turn to and when I felt like I couldn't I just didn't know what to do. I went to the emergency ward and I felt like they didn't care about me which made me worse. And then I wanted to try and reach out to my psych and couldn't because I keep thinking she wants me to kill myself. But I guess one good thing did come out of it. I was reminded of how much my parents do actually love me. I was having serious doubts (also thinking they just wanted me gone @Lost_Space_Explorer5 ) but I guess they really proved me wrong the other night. I don't even know why I'm rambling about this. It's not even important considering everything else that's been going on. 

 

I've just missed you guys and this community and am really hoping I can get back to normal soon and stop freaking out about others reading this cause there's so much I want to talk about and get help with.. 🙃

Highlighted

Re: Not sure what to do

@MB95  do you think maybe disconnecting from your professional supports is contributing to how bad things are at the moment? I am sorry everything has been so intense for you and that the emergency department wasnt helpful for you. you can always talk on here but i am glad that you feel you have some support from your family. 

Highlighted

Re: Not sure what to do

I'm so proud you went to the emergency department even if it was unhelpful, that must have taken a lot of bravery. I'm glad you're parents have shown you they love you Smiley Happy We care about you here too and I miss talking to you too ❤

Highlighted

Re: Not sure what to do

Thanks guys. I ended up taking myself to emergency cause I was having severe chest pains which still haven't stopped and I knew mentally I wasn't okay so in a way I was hoping someone might care and help me. But the guy on the desk was asking too many questions and I couldn't concentrate or remember the answers to them so I got really worked up and started crying. He just told me my chest pains were anxiety and not my heart and really down played it and didn't show any empathy at all which I found harder. I didn't want to be there in the first place and it took so much for me to go cause I felt like an idiot but because the pain was on the left side and near my heart and we have family history of heart problems I thought I'd go and get it checked cause it was starting to freak me out. It wasn't till I started crying that he showed any form of interest. The nurse did the general checks and then they told me to wait in the waiting area and the doctor would see me. I waited for 1.5hrs (i know waiting times usually suck in emergency so it's probably nothing) but everything became too much for me and I had to leave. I had this funny feeling they were getting a mental health nurse and not a doctor cause other people kept arriving and going in before me. Idk. I just felt weird and was scared if they were getting a mental health person cause I knew they wouldn't let me leave so I just got up and left in the end. I told a different lady I was going and booked it outta there 😂 Sorry for the rant, I haven't told anyone about my hospital visit and just needed to talk to someone about it. When you guys go, how long does it usually take to be seen? @Eden1717  @Lost_Space_Explorer5 ? I just feel like I wasn't taken seriously at all and it made me feel so much worse that even the hospital can't help me. Idk. 

Highlighted

Re: Not sure what to do

@MB95  Well that depends if I am in an order legally they have to see me within 4 hours which is usually how long it takes but if I came in myself it has previously taken anywhere up to 8-12 hours to be seen but that is by the psychiatrist usually a medical doctor will come within 3-4 hours to see you. But it depends how busy they are sometimes it takes 6 hours or so for the medical doctor to come it really depends but 1.5hrs is not going to be enough time to see anyone tbh. If you genuinely have physical concerns I would go see the GP about it if I were you. The emergency department is not super great with mental health issues in my experience but that could just be my shitty hospital. People will go in before because it is triaged so it is assessed by need and if someone has an issue that is more time sensitive they will go in first even if you have waited hours. 

Highlighted

Re: Not sure what to do

That sounds really awful @MB95, I am sorry to hear that you felt that way when you were at the hospital. I also just want to echo what Eden1717 said about seeing the GP if you still have some health concerns, as they will be able to support you and help you feel better. I am glad that you are feeling supported by your parents, that is a good outcome! Have you been able to see your psych lately and tell her about what has been happening? It is really awesome that you are wanting to come back to the community, we are always here to support you Heart

Highlighted

Re: Not sure what to do

I haven't been to emergency by myself for mental health stuff, usually I'm sent there cause I'm scheduled and there are no beds available. I guess it takes about an hour for them to admit you to the emergency ward after doing checks and going over what happened then they give you a bed and at that point everything is a blur I usually just listen to music or sleep. They usually end up moving you to the mental health emergency part of the hospital where a nurse watches you.Then usually a doctor will come see you when it's gotten dark. So like say I went in in the afternoon like a doctor wouldn't see me till evening like idk 8pm? Then I think a psychiatrist comes to talk to you a bit later and goes over stuff. Then you have to wait like a day or two to get transferred to a mental health ward out of the main hospital. But that is if you go in and there were no beds available in the first place. If there are, you go straight to the mental health building and wait for a few hours till they let you in and a doctor reviews you. Then you would see a psychiatrist the next day. That's what my experiences have been like
Highlighted

Re: Not sure what to do

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with me @Eden1717 & @Lost_Space_Explorer5. I really appreciate it. I guess my experience has just left me feeling pretty unsupported and shitty about the whole thing so needed to just get it out. I didn't actually realise they would make you wait that long! Like I knew it was a long wait, but hours?! Like I was going insane after sitting there for 30min and it took everything in me to stay for 1.5hrs then I couldn't do it any longer. It just freaked me out. I feel like that whole wait just makes it worse? Idk. Maybe that's just me. At least I know for sure now that I won't be going back anytime soon, if ever. Screw that! 

 

And I have seen my GP, she is monitoring the chest pains and now seeing me weekly at the moment so it's all good. As for my psych.. I had my first appointment with her a few days ago but it's all on the phone which SUCKS. And I couldn't hold it together at all. I just cried the entire time and she could bearly make sense of what I was saying so that was fun. I just wish it was in person so I could at least nod and shake my head 😂