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Re: Not sure what to do

I am sorry to hear that you are not feeling the best tonight @MB95. It must be really hard to feel like you have no-one to talk to. I hope that it has helped you (even a tiny little bit) by posting your thoughts on here as we here at the forums are here for you when you need some support. It sucks that your GP was booked out for two weeks, that is such a long time for a GP to be booked out for! I hope that the next time you see her things might be a bit different and you might feel a bit more comfortable when talking with her.

You mentioned that you don't know if you can make it until you see your GP, would you mind explaining a bit more about what you meant by that? Are you feeling safe tonight? I think its nice that you were able to go to uni and feel safe last night. Hopefully it wasn't too dark and scary. Are you able to do any of the awesome coping strategies that you mentioned like taking a shower/bath, doing a face mask, washing your hair, or lighting a candle to see if they help you feel better?
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Re: Not sure what to do

I don't know, I just don't want to be here anymore and can't stop thinking about it. Everything seems like a blur and like I'm already dead? I did a face mask last night and washed my hair thismorning and did groceries which needed to be done to try and feel something and feel alive. And I listened to one of my favourite podcasts which kinda helped but the thoughts just won't go away. I'm just so exhausted and can't concentrate or think clearly which is making uni even harder. 

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Re: Not sure what to do

Hey @MB95 good on you doing those things, it can be such an extra effort to do stuff like get groceries and wash your hair when you're feeling shit, so major props to you for doing that. I'm sorry they didn't really help with the thoughts Smiley Sad have you got any plans for today?

It makes sense that uni stuff is really hard right now given how you're feeling, have you got a lot of uni work to do?

My heart goes out to you @MB95, we all care about you a lot Heart 

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Re: Not sure what to do

Thanks @Hannah-RO. Yeah, I have so much uni I need to do.. I went in for a couple hours but just came home cause I'm getting nowhere with it. I really wanna go to my favourite park and just relax there but I don't have any energy or motivation to move so I think I'm just going to lay in bed and find something to watch. I'm so sorry I sound like such a downer, I really do apprecite the support I'm just so exhausted and can't be bothered with anything. I hope you had a good day ❤

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Re: Not sure what to do

i'm sorry i'm not much help right now @MB95 but you're doing amazing to push through all this
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Re: Not sure what to do

You don't sound like a downer @MB95. You sound like someone who knows what they need right now - some TV and relax.

 

Correct me if I'm wrong, but you have family overseas, right? If yes, do you think that once you have more energy, it might be worth giving your parent(s) a call?

 

We are always here if you need. HeartHeartHeart

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Re: Not sure what to do

@MB95  I am sorry things have been so difficult for you lately it sounds like things have been pretty exhausting for you. I am glad you managed to talk to your psych about some of it and that you had some contact with KHL, are you still having trouble sleeping? do you think that could be contributing? TV and relaxing sounds like a good plan, maybe having something nice to eat or drink as well could be good. 

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Re: Not sure what to do

Thanks @Maddy-RO. I ended up just laying there listening to a podcast instead cause I strangely didn't even have the energy to turn the TV on or attention span to watch something. But it was weirdly nice to just lay and do nothing and listen to it, made me feel like I had two friends HA! 😂 

 

All my family live in Aus, but interstate! You might be confused though cause I went and lived overseas for a few years on my own so that's maybe why you thought that? I did actually try call mum earlier to just talk (not about me cause they have no clue) but she wasn't available. 

 

I was just looking at the updated safety plan my psych sent me cause I'm not feeling great so was trying to remember what we wrote down. Now I just feel worse.. I know I shouldn't read into it but I noticed she took my back up psych off as a safe person to contact and she didn't tell me. I know it's stupid but now I feel like it's because they hate me and don't want me contacting them anymore. I already feel alone enough and now it feels like she's gone. I feel really weird and now I just want to stop engaging completely. 

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Re: Not sure what to do

Thanks @Eden1717, I hope you're doing okay. Please don't respond on here if you're not up for it - I really want you to focus on looking after yourself ❤

 

I'm actually getting sleep now which is nice, just getting way too much.. one extreme to the next 🙃 But I'm so exhausted I need it I think. Idk. And I made stir fry for dinner tonight 👍

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Re: Not sure what to do

I get the not having energy @MB95 Smiley Sad Sorry you're feeling weird and like your supports hate you- that would feel really intense. Will you try to call your mum at another time maybe?