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Re: Not sure what to do

Thanks guys ❤

Re: Not sure what to do

I'm really sorry guys, I'm trying SO HARD to not post my own stuff on here anymore but I'm not exactly feeling safe within myself atm and just feel really alone and needed to tell someone. I hope that's okay. I think it's from the drop in my meds but idk. It feels like the real me is back and I hate her so much and don't want her back ever!!! I don't know how or if I even want to talk about how I'm feeling cause I've been pretty good with ignoring it lately so not entirely sure where to go from here.

 

If anyone is around and wants to talk about random stuff or share some christmas baking or craft ideas that would be cool cause I need a distraction from my thoughts and some gift ideas. I will be okay tonight because my housemates have people over for a xmas thing so I'm not going to do anything stupid while people are here. So I'm safe but don't feel safe if that makes sense? Anyway. It doesn't matter. Christmas! Anyone got some cool ideas to share?! 

Re: Not sure what to do

I am sorry to hear that you are not feeling safe @MB95, it must be tough experiencing that. Please know that we are always happy to support you here and are here when you need to chat. I am glad to hear that you will be safe tonight, and it is really great to hear that you are trying to distract yourself with different strategies. I would love to hear some of the Christmas baking or crafting ideas that you have! I have such a sweet-tooth so any baking recipes would be preferred haha. Do you celebrate Christmas by decorating a Christmas tree? If so, have you had a chance to decorate yours yet?

Re: Not sure what to do

@MB95  it is totally ok to post for yourself and sorry you are feeling so bad, hmmm christmas well you could bake reindeer cookies and a santa cookie and make like a christmas cookie scene. or for craft you could make a bunch of cards like make your own cards. idk these are terrible ideas lol maybe we need to search the internet for better ones.  

Re: Not sure what to do

I also have a sweet tooth @Sophia-RO. I'm taking Wednesday off work to bake some goodies for my psych and everyone in her office for helping me so much this year with everything. Thinking of baking some brownies and cookies like @Eden1717 suggested! Hoping she might even join me with the baking if she's up to it. We do put up a tree and decorations but I'm not home atm so missed out on all of that which sucks. 

 

@Eden1717 your ideas are far from terrible! I actually bought some beautiful handmade cards today and thought I should try making some myself! I do agree we should do an internet search though. I think I'm going to start a christmas thread tomorrow where we can all share ideas to keep us busy cause I know I'm in desperate need of distractions at the moment. I seem to be going downhill pretty quickly to a dark place and unable to talk about it so looking for as many distractions as possible to keep me going!! 

Re: Not sure what to do

@MB95  a Christmas thread would be good. has your uni finished up for the semester? is that maybe part of why you are feeling a bit worse than usual? idk just a thought. is there any hobby you could take up to try and keep busy?    

Re: Not sure what to do

Yeah uni has finished for the year @Eden1717 but I'm working 6 days a week so pretty busy atm. I'm not entirely sure what's wrong with me. I'm just trying really hard to not engage with my thoughts but it's becomming a lot harder the lower my dose becomes. Idk. I'm just lost and don't know who to talk too. My GP is unavailable and even then I can't really talk to her about this stuff, I don't want to tell my psych because she thinks I'm doing well and I don't want her to send me to the psychiatrist or suggest meds again and I'm scared to tell you guys because I need to get used to not relying on RO for support. Idk. I'm just in a very weird place atm. 

Re: Not sure what to do

@MB95  That makes sense, I think sometimes med changes are harder than we expect and sometimes you have to give it time for your body to get used to not having them. I am sorry I can’t help much but we are always around if you need a distraction maybe it is a good time to start your Christmas thread. 

Re: Not sure what to do

Heya @MB95 , tapering down from meds can definitely be rough, and I can definitely understand those weird feelings and feeling a bit reluctant to rely on the forums. That being said, even though it really sucks that you weren't feeling safe, I am really glad that you were able to post here. As a reformed "bottle everything up and pretend everything is fine " type person myself, I know how tempting it can be to hold it all in, and I'm glad you were able to come here. Medication is a really personal decision- your psych sounds like they're really respectful of your wishes and wouldn't push things on you, do you think it might help to workshop things a bit with them? 

 

On to more pleasant things- I love that you're doing some Xmas baking! I haven't started yet, but we usually do some home-made gingerbread as presents for people, and it always smells like xmas to me! Plus I do find all of that kneading and rolling out dough is kinda therapeutic and it makes the house smell AMAZING. I can highly recommend this recipe if you ever want to give them a go! I always add more spices than they say though. 

 

How are you feeling today? 

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Re: Not sure what to do

Thanks @Eden1717 I appreciate you just listening. ❤

 

I'm not feeling too great today @Janine-RO but I decided to email my psych. I don't even know why and didn't really say much but felt like I needed to talk to her. I just feel weird and not sure I can talk about it on here but it's okay, I'll work it out. I'm a bit scared and now worried about how she will respond cause I don't want to worry her but I needed to tell someone I'm not okay so I feel like I'm held accountable to stick around if that makes sense? Idk. It's all good, I'll work it out. I just need to try and get my head straight!!! Thanks for checking in. ❤

 

Onto more serious issues. I think I'm gonna have to try your recipie! I was planning to make some gingerbread cookies and was gonna Google a recipie so now I don't have too! Thanks for sharing!! I will let you know how they go 😊 And I think I might start a christmas thread now cause I need the distraction and cheering up!