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Re: Nothing is ever enough

Hey @scared01, I’m sorry you’re experiencing such a tough time right now - it sounds very frustrating and painful to be trying to deal with so many pressures and not getting the support you need. I think it’s really understandable that this has caused you to relapse and feel very distressed...please remember that relapsing is a part of recovery and it doesn’t erase the amazing progress that you’ve made in the last few years! Heart




I can very much empathise with the feeling of sacrificing your own health and well-being in order to look after your family Smiley Sad It’s a very heavy responsibility and it’s easy to get burned out. I think it’s really awesome that you’re planning on finding out about carer support! The thing that helps me most when I feel frustrated or overwhelmed by caring is to plan for a future when I won’t have to be a carer anymore. Planning how I’ll decorate a house, vegetables I want to plant, the family I’ll build for myself. I know you like drawing, perhaps you could draw what you’d like your life to look like one day?

Making active plans can be useful too - I opened a savings account recently even though I didn’t have anything to put in it and taking concrete steps to independence made me feel a lot better. Do you have any plans for future study, or any ideas about the kind of career you’d like to have in the future? 


Does your local hospital have a community mental health or acute mental health team attached to it? Sometimes services like that can help you when you’re crisis. There’s sometimes also peer support or family workers associated with community mental health teams which you could ask to be connected with. I know that you live in a regional area though, is that right? So I’m sorry if my suggestions aren’t applicable to where you are! 


Also I know that because of your caring responsibilities it might be too hard to do this, but you can always go to your local emergency department. You don’t even have to be actively suicidal, you can go there and request a mental health review and hopefully end up talking to their psychologist or mental health nurse. They might be able to link you in with more intensive support. 


Hugs. I’m thinking of you and wishing I could open a huge RO secret hideaway where we could all go and get away from our responsibilities for a bit! Heart

Re: Nothing is ever enough

How's your day going @scared01? Smiley Happy

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: Nothing is ever enough

Hey @DruidChild

thank you for your post, yes your right I know relapsing is part of recovery. This one just seems to be a lot harder than the usual relapses, and is affecting me in different ways like out of control eating, other methods of self harm, more risk taking but im seeing my psychologist abit more regularly now that my care plan has been renewed so thatll be abit more helpful too.

Yeah its hard with the sacrifices isnt, wanting to be healthy ourselves but not a the expense of others.
I like your idea on how to cope, thats really clever. The problem is I cant quite see a life outside caring (but I could start!) mostly because ive done it for so long that it looked like my future has already been planned out for me. But I cant see anything wrong with looking at houses, how id want to decorate it etc.

ive got a few courses id like to study, I wouldnt be waiting till I wasnt a carer though so I guess I can still take those steps while im caring. Like stepping stones..

yes the ED is a very hard place for me to go bot only for caring duties, but also my other work, other responsibilities and the slack and judgement I get from family too- that one is the hardest one the handle and to cope with.

Hey @letitgo
thank you for checking in, ive bee pretty busy trying to catch up on things before my busy week of appointments and work starts this week. I spent 4 hrs cleaning up yesterday along with other things. This mornings quiet though up until 10 30 and then it is all systems go up until about 5 oclock this arvo.
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: Nothing is ever enough

Hey @scared01


I'm sorry to hear things are tough at the moment. I think it's great that you are aware that lapses are a part of progress. It seems to me that you are also taking some fantastic steps forward by seeing your psych more and renewing your care plan. Also, I love the idea of stepping stones! Perhaps they will encourage you by making you feel like you're taking steps forward? What sort of courses were you thinking of studying?

Re: Nothing is ever enough

I’m glad you’re able to get some more regular help @scared01, this sounds like a really difficult and intense time for you Heart I agree that stepping stones is a great metaphor! What kinds of courses are you interested in doing? 


I’m wondering if there’s anything we can do or help you with that would be particularly helpful right now, like distraction, a place to vent, helping make plans, anything like that? 


How has your busy busy day been going? Good luck with everything you have to do! Heart

Re: Nothing is ever enough

Hey @JanaG @DruidChild

Im interested in the health sector but not set in stone really. I want to just keep broadening my kowledge with courses that interest me like nursing courses or more like smaller stepping stone ones, as well as nutrition and psych as well so theres a few unis that offer short taster like courses so im interested in a few of those but im not sure which one as yet.

my therapy atm is rather intense to as its exposure therapy but she does give me that opportunity to talk about other things as well if I choose to so it works well for support plus one of my favourite shops is nearby so I tend to take a walk there as a reward afterwards even if I dont buy anything.

My day has been very busy. The morning appointment went well and we covered quite a lot and a future plan but I have some juggling to do with other appointments so I can fit in a rather long gp appointment on friday to get a few things sorted and back on track again.

I had quite a good chat with the surgical team today and we have a date for my surgury (providing there arent any hiccups within the hospital like upgrades, emergencies etc)
but ive got a date and its abit of releif as I can look at pricing of hotels and things.

Im going out with family for a little while in a minute so mightnt be on again till tomorrow or later on tonight. But its a good event, something new and interesting but I cant share it as its a unique thing atm.

Thank you both so much for your supports <3
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: Nothing is ever enough

Hey @scared01, it sounds like yesterday was a pretty busy day for you! How are you going today? Here for you if you need it <3
Hope is just around the corner; you think it's not there when you first look straight ahead, but it actually is when you turn around

Re: Nothing is ever enough

It sounds like yesterday was quite a productive day for you @scared01 Smiley Happy


Hopefully everything ends up going well with the hospital and your surgery can happen on time. Is there plenty of time to get organised for hotels and such? 


Broadening your knowledge with different courses sounds like a great way to get a feel for the sector and help you decide what you like and don't like as it's always okay to be unsure about what you want to do Smiley Happy


I hope you're having a good day today Smiley Happy


I am finishing with ReachOut this week, say good-bye here. I'll miss you all!

Re: Nothing is ever enough

Well done on getting so much done healthwise the other day @scared01, that’s awesome! It sounds like a relief to have that surgery date. I hope you enjoyed the event with your family. 


That’s cool, the good thing about the health sector is that there will always be work for you if you have a health related degree! I bet you would be really good at psych or nursing, I can imagine you being very caring towards your patients and really changing a lot of lives Smiley Happy


Exposure therapy can be really intense, do you feel that it’s helping? How are you feeling today? Heart

Re: Nothing is ever enough

Hey @Esperanza67

it has been some very hectic days and its not over yet unfortunatly. Its the week full of appointments. So far ive had 4 in the past 3 days in amongst other things. Tomorrow ive got another appointment, and friday ive got a double appointment with my gp to start the medication process up again and to talk about some other concerning things as well.

I am quite nervous about tomorrows appointment though, I want to go but at the same time ive been really nervous about going and have been putting it off for weeks. Hopefully it goes alright tomorrow though.

Hey @Jay-RO

The op being a few months away is both a blessing and a curse. Its kinda hard because the waiting makes me quite nervous and not only that I have to deal with the frequent infections and pain until I can get the op sorted out but because its a little while away its giving me a chance to get appointments here worked out so restabilise on medications, get back to a healthy weight again, organise hotels, home care nusring etc as well so while its quite a while away there still seems to be quite a lot of things to do before then including a wedding which im apart of as well so quite a busy few months anyway.

Hey @DruidChild

it was pretty good thanks, something different. It only went for half hr but was good to get out of the house and things for abit.

Yes it is a releif to have a date for the surgury now and im glad they gave me more info as well as now ive found out ill have to be there a day early so means an extra night in the hotel as well or at least another day trip to the hospital.

Aw thank you, psych and nursing are one of my 2 interest areas but itll be a while before I really get to that point, but nothing wrong with stepping stones either.

Im not sure this therapy is helping as yet, ive really only had 2 sessions so we are right at the very beginning. I guess time will tell though and itll be a slow process which im ok with.
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**