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Now that hurt

I have (or should I say had) a very close friend… I used to talk to her everyday… she went away recently to do family stuff… prior to her leaving she told me that we would catch up and talk when she got back… I started texting her when she got back to find out when she wanted to catch up… only to be ignored… I have sent many messages trying to work out what was happening and still no response… I thought I would check her fb page to see what she had been up to lately and make sure she was ok… only to find that I am no longer friends with either her or her partner… I feel my heart has been cut out and discarded… I do NOT know what I said or did to cause this but I am deeply hurt… I mean deeply… she was like a mother figure to me… how could she do this to me? Especially at a time like this… I am devastated to say the least… absolutely devastated
Jay

Re: Now that hurt

Ouch!

 

Sorry to hear, but i sympathise. 

 

People can be strange at times, and she may have her reasons. It sounds like she changed a bit wherever she went to.

 

Hope it all works out well for you. You'll find plenty of friends on here if you want to chat.

 

- J

Re: Now that hurt

Thanks Jay
The worst part is that she is a qualified psychologist… how am I expected to place trust in psychologists when my personal friend hurts me this deeply? I don't understand why… I always had trouble connecting with and trusting people… she helped me learn to connect and trust again and now she has done this… I give up… nothing makes sense anymore… she helped me get through so much and gve me support to get where I am today… now she has thrown our friendship away as if it never meant anything… it hurts beyond words and now I'm lost because I have no one else I can turn to who truly understands me ;( ;( ;(
Jay

Re: Now that hurt

Wow... 

 

Don't give up on shrinks (psychologists). There may be a good reason why your friend hasn't returned any calls or messages. But don't let her actions reflect the entire psycholigcal profession. I know some shrinks, and they're are absolutely fantastic people. 

 

But don't let her departure unravell all the good work you've done. With her help to connect and trust again, she may have helped you, but you did all the work. You learnt ot rust on your own, so own that! It's yours! You did that! No one can take that from you. Your success wasn't based on her presence. 

 

It may seem like you're on your own, but you won't be. Not forever. Perhaps, take this time to become confident with yourself, without having to rely on support from other people. Become your own support. Rely on yourself. 

 

And every now and then, call 1800 55 1800. I see people posting about this number and some forums on this site all the time. They're some confidential support line. I'm sure they could give you some help.

 

But wake up tomorrow, and take a long look in a mirror. What you'll see, will be your "before" shot. So start picturing your "after" shot, of how an independant, self-reliant woman would look like. 

 

- J

Re: Now that hurt

Thanks jay… your response made me cry… I don't feel like doing anything… just giving up altogether…

Re: Now that hurt

Hey Miss Lil J 

Its terrible what you are going through and it does hurt when you lose a friend and you dont understand why, it is very hard to deal with and I empathize with you on that. Have you thought of writing her a letter about how you feel and expressing to her that this really hurts and you want to understand what happened? 

 

In my experience true friends dont do that and you need to figure out if this was a good friendship for you have a read on this to see if it helps http://au.reachout.com/What-makes-a-good-friend

 

Jay has given you some great advice and you are important and don't let someone bring you down, maybe this is a time to work on you and give you a self confidence boost, do something you love and make you happy. Remember that you are not alone you can come on the forums and join some of the awesome discussions to lift your mood http://forums.au.reachout.com/t5/Everyday-life-stuff/bd-p/Everyday_life_stuff

 

Take care of yourself and do something to make you happy Smiley Happy 

 

_________________________________________________
**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**

Re: Now that hurt

I thought about the letter but I'm so angry right now I feel I would say some nasty stuff… secondly I'm scared of it just being ignored like the rest of my attempts… as for being important I don't feel it… I feel lost and neglected… I do have other friends but I don't feel they understand what I'm dealing with as well as she did… I am very very scared of falling further apart and disconnecting from things…

Re: Now that hurt

Now both her and her partner have blocked me on fb… I know it probably sounds really silly but it friggen hurts… I don't wish to bother anymore… if she who was the only one who truly understood my pain has given up on me then why should I continue to carry on?
Highlighted

Re: Now that hurt

I'm sorry to hear about that Smiley Sad
Like I said in the other post - hang out on your own or around others you might meet from here on in Smiley Happy

Re: Now that hurt

I just feel so isolated and lonely… I am not in the mood to talk to anyone… no one understands