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Obsessive Thoughts

Recently my parents left me alone while they went on holidays for the first time in my life. It made me realise how much I need them, and that they really are the most important thing in my universe. I've become obsessed with the thought that one day they will die and I will be completely alone, and I don't know how I will survive that because I owe everything to them. I can't stop thinking about it and it is causing me a lot of distress and I am honestly terrified. I don't know what to do because it is inevitable and I can't escape it.

Re: Obsessive Thoughts

Hi @Blurryphaced , it sounds really hard to be having those thoughts and not being able to stop it, I can hear how important your parents are to you. Do you think talking to them about how you're feeling would help at all? Some people find using grounding techniques, or something to bring them back into the present moment helpful when they're having intrusive thoughts. Have you ever tried anything like that? 

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Re: Obsessive Thoughts

@Blurryphaced This sounds it was a tough realisation, You could try belly breathing, breathe in 4 seconds and hold then breathe out for seconds. I think like @Janine-RO suggested ground techniques could helpful. can you tell us more about the type of thoughts or what the thought is?

Re: Obsessive Thoughts

I do have a psychologist and counsellor for my anxiety, but talking about this feels really morbid, and possibly also uncomfortable for them? 

Re: Obsessive Thoughts

I can really understand why you might be hesitant to bring these thoughts up with your therapist @Blurryphaced. I think sometimes when we experience something for the first time, or at least when our negative thoughts still feel very fresh, it can be hard to talk about because of how painfully uncomfortable it can be. I do want to reassure you that when it comes to talking to a mental health professional about anything that's troubling you, you don't have to be concerned about how it might make them feel. I know that sounds really strange, but clinicians are trained to be able to process and talk about these sort of things, and they also have exceptionally good boundaries. I'd really want to encourage you to talk to them about these thoughts, especially as it can give them a bit clearer of an idea of what's going on for you and how to best support you Heart

Re: Obsessive Thoughts

Hey i completely understand where you're coming from. You remind me of myself about 2 years ago. I grew up with my brother and he was like my pseudo parent and best friend and like the only close friend i had. Then out of the blue he said he enrolled in the army and would be gone in weeks... it shattered my world. I have obsessive thoughts, felt uncomfortable/anxiety and at one point I dissociated because the thought of losing him overwhelmed me so much that I couldn't see anything else.

 

But after 1 month, then 1 year, then 2 years (now) I realise how much better I am, how much stronger. What you're going through is normal given your upbringing I'm assuming. You're close to your family which is a great thing and something people would love to have. It's important to have other social circles to fall back on (this is a core part of what builds the "self") such as friends that you can talk to and sometimes these friendships take time to build. 

 

I hope you're doing ok now. Just remember it always gets better and if your feelings are getting too overwhelming, try meditation or try reaching out to a friend or even those phone lines. These are the options I wish somebody had told me because at the time. It's important to sit with the feelings, accept them and then reach out to someone and talk these feelings out. If you bottle them it won't be good. We're here for you if you wanna talk further!

Re: Obsessive Thoughts

That must have been so tough @Blurryphaced. Smiley Sad But well done for getting through it. Heart
I can relate to your fears. The thought of anything happening to members of my family is scary. Although I am an adult, I'm not that independent and I still rely on my family for a lot of things. Sometimes, I get anxious about them dying myself.
It can be really hard to stop thinking about something. I know that the more I tell myself not to worry about something, the more I think about it. I try to distract myself by doing things such as playing a game or focusing on something in my environment. I also think that it's important to remember that a thought is just a thought and it doesn't necessarily mean that it will happen right now. Would any of these things help you?

Re: Obsessive Thoughts

Hey @Blurryphaced, I'm sorry your thoughts of your parents dying are becoming all consuming and are so distressing Smiley Sad I can appreciate what a scary thought it is, knowing that you will lose someone you love one day. Is there anything you find yourself doing to manage these thoughts? Or things you avoid? I only ask because sometimes we can react to our thoughts in ways that keep the cycle of anxiety going

I used to be worried about my parents dying and still occasionally feel it, it's really scary. I find thought defusion and trying to focus on the present is helpful. What do you think might help?

Re: Obsessive Thoughts

Hey @Blurryphaced,
It's definitely not just you. I've felt like this or something similar to this for many years now, and I can tell you you're definitely not alone.
For me, when I'm not comfortable to bring up something with my reular GP and therapist, I talk to a random counsellor on KHL and I bookan appointment with another GP that I do not regular see. Knowing that they don't know me and will probably never see me again gives me peace of mind. This might not work for you, but just letting you know that you're in good company here!