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Re: Ongoing Fluctuating Emotions - what's going on?

@WheresMySquishy I am glad you had some doctors you were reassuring for you, that always makes things a little easier. When I was going through mine I had a really nice friend who talked me through it and encouraged me, so that was really helpful. I'm actually not on any medication right now but if I do end up going on any i'll be sure to let my doctors know if it comes to deciding going on the pill or whatever. 

 

@I_am_not_Groot I am actually still having tummy upsets Smiley Sad I just had a shower and a sleep and I feel a bit better right now, i just need to find some food because I am hungry. I'm a little bit worried to eat though because that is what is unsettling my tummy it seems. Smiley Sad

 

Thanks for your support. 

Re: Ongoing Fluctuating Emotions - what's going on?

I spoke to my KHL counselor tonight which was nice. I've had a pretty bleh kind of day with being sick and going to work and coming home feeling tired and a little exhausted. But I feel kind of excited about this week coming which is a good thing. I guess it is because so much is happening from work going back to possibly starting my new job, as well as dance lessons and my psych appointment and headspace sessions. I feel like I have been waiting forever for this week to finally come. I haven't seen my psychologist for a month! so much to talk about. 

 

I am really anxious about my new job starting up and as it is a "call in" I won't know until the night before or day of that i'm working. I know it will be a good experience for me and really help with my finances. I just gotta get through that first day and believe in myself that I can do this. I gotta not expect myself to be perfect. 

 

I'm going to try and focus on the good things this week like finally going to support groups, seeing my psych and talking things out, seeing my GP about my mood changes, watching TV shows and playing my video games, going to my dance class, doing sport and seeing friends! I feel motivated. I don't know how long this will last but i'm going to cling onto it for now! 

Re: Ongoing Fluctuating Emotions - what's going on?

@mspaceK That's amazing! It sounds like you're back on a high note, and I sincerely hope it stays that way. Also good luck with the new job! They hired you for a reason, but it's good that you're not setting your expectations too high. Also, it's great you've got a lot of other activities you're excited about, I suppose keeping yourself busy and distracted could be a way to kind of stop mood changes? Personally for me when I'm distracted (with not stressful things ofc) I feel like I have no time to dwell on the bad things, so it keeps me in a pretty neutral or happy state. 

Re: Ongoing Fluctuating Emotions - what's going on?

Thank you @I_am_not_Groot . I am hoping that keeping myself busy and distracted with enjoyable activities and my supports will help me, as well as earning money so I can pay for things I need to and have enough for the things I want to do. Smiley Happy 

Re: Ongoing Fluctuating Emotions - what's going on?

@mspaceK It's awesome you have a great support system and also keeping active! Since winter is coming I honestly feel less motivated to go and exercise. Oh yes having a little bit of spending money is handy too. What do you usually like to buy for yourself? 

Re: Ongoing Fluctuating Emotions - what's going on?

Most of my money goes towards my car, petrol, insurance, rego and regular service. As well as rent, utilities, phone, groceries, updating qualifications, health and general house stuff. 

 

But what I would really like to spend my money on when I can afford it is going to the cinemas, buying new books, video games and playing sport - and clothes. And I'd really like to buy myself a digital piano, a surfboard, wetsuit, desktop computer and furniture for my room, and a holiday with my boyfriend. @I_am_not_Groot 

 

I went to work today and I was sick again. I'm still sick now. It's really miserable. I hate it. I'm finally home now though. Going to relax and watch a tv show and shower and then probably bed! 

Re: Ongoing Fluctuating Emotions - what's going on?

thinking of you @mspaceK
hoping today was ok for you
**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: Ongoing Fluctuating Emotions - what's going on?

Overall today has been pretty miserable for the majority of the time. Work was a pain to get through because I have been sick again rushing to the bathroom whenever I had breaks. I was cold for most of the day. The only good things were watching game of thrones, seeing my other sibling and mum and eating wedges and hanging out in my room on my computer. But just a few moments ago my housemate and I had an argument and now she's gone to her room and told me to leave her alone. I can't talk to her about any of the things around the house because she doesn't want to listen to it and tells me to leave her alone. So all my efforts are pointless because I either make her upset because I am putting pressure on her, or I say nothing and endure and nothing changes and so I am miserable. I am sick of feeling guilty for highlighting the things she needs to change because they make her feel bad, but keeping the house clean effects us both so it's not fair. It's been several months of this crap. What the heck am I supposed to do? I just know that I don't want to live in this environment and I feel bad about wanting to move away from my sister but I just can't deal with this shit right now. ughhh. 

Re: Ongoing Fluctuating Emotions - what's going on?

I feel so down right now. I can't relax to sleep even though I'm exhausted. I feel unhappy and I don't want to think about tomorrow or the next day or any responsibilities for things I could or should be doing. It all feels like repetitive crap. I'm trying every day. Why does everything feel so hard? 

Re: Ongoing Fluctuating Emotions - what's going on?

I feel sick. I still can't sleep. I cried before. And I have a tight chest tonight. So many thoughts going through my mind. I wish I could make it all disappear :'( so much for feeling motivated... I hate everything. Of course it didn't last. What is even the point? Ugh.