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Re: Overly Emotional Over NOTHING

@Bee 

That's okay. As any amount of progress is still better than nothing Smiley Happy. Is that a particular procedure they do at your work? with mail and banking I mean?

Re: Overly Emotional Over NOTHING

@Andrea-RO There is, but it would mean contacting either a proprietor in the store (which I have a good relationship with) or it would mean trying to remember the mobile of our area manager and ring her, but I don't know her at all, and I don't want to dump Gem in hot water over something that could be nothing...

It's hard to figure out objectively what needs to change/happen. I know I'm a sensitive person and am very sensitive to criticism if it's not communicated to me in certain ways. It's also a big change in management style from Eve to Gem. Where Eve was really helping me gain confidence in my role and my ability to do the role, Gem doesn't. Which is fine I guess. It has just made it even harder to try and remain confident in my ability when Gem is telling me to do things differently or that I've been taught an incorrect procedure and trying to learn the new procedure and not feel like I'm a total failure is hard. I KNOW logically that me not feeling comfortable with Gem isn't entirely her fault. In retrospect, it DID take me a while before I felt comfortable with Eve, it wasn't because of her, but because of my past experiences. So it's not like I started work and was instantly buddies with Eve, I wasn't - I was very wary of her as a manager because I've worked with managers before and had terrible experiences. And knowing that it takes me a while to feel comfortable with new people, I don't want to be dragging in another person to confront her about it. It's hard to build a solid relationship with her when she is stressing about her role and run off her feet, and also trying to train our new creditor. She does have a lot on her plate.

And knowing all of this, it helps put it into perspective. But it's in the moment of it. it's during the day when I'm focused on my work that I forget some of this and I end up feeling so incredibly sad and rejected when I'm told by her that something isn't right or she questions something I've done.

I've had a couple of good days with her, where we have been able to communicate effectively with each other - which helps. I just need to remember them and try not to let my head explode into over-exaggeration mode.

@Milkninja222 there is a banking procedure, which I was doing about 90% correctly, there was just one part which confused her that I was doing and then when she told me the other part of the procedure it made more sense and made it easier. Mail there's not really a formal procedure, but Gem doesn't want me to open it or anything until after the banking. But I forget often because I've been opening it first for 6 months, so it's just taking a little bit of time to get used to.

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Overly Emotional Over NOTHING

from what i've read, you sound like you're doing the best you can !
employee-manager relationships can be really hard to navigate sometimes, especially when they're picking up something we've accidentally done wrong for example. Personally, i've found it hard to communicate with my own managers in this kind of situation and gets me feeling a lot of not-so-nice feelings because i want to do well and for them to be happy with me! in times like this, good open communication has always helped me to clear things up and move forward with the manager in a comfortable way - and by the sounds of it you've had some of this also!
You sound like the kind of employee i'd like to hire if i owned a business - you come across as hard working and someone who cares a lot about the quality of the work they're delivering - which i consider a really positive thing!
I'm hoping things at work settle down for you soon
sending you lots of hugs!! Smiley Happy

Re: Overly Emotional Over NOTHING

@Bee It does sound full on. Purposely, I wouldn't be able to a job that involved doing some level of professional banking myself hahaha. My maths is not the greatest Smiley Tongue. What do you reckon she can understand about your personal procedure of how do the tasks you are given? 

 

Also, has anything new happened of late??

Re: Overly Emotional Over NOTHING

Thanks @reach804 Heart

@Milkninja222 it's not for everyone Smiley Happy I am mathematically-minded so that helps Smiley Tongue
This week has been a challenge due to Monday being a public holiday, but eh.

I caught up with my old manager today, and seeing her and talking to her really helped. Smiley Happy

Between talking to my old manager, work discussions with colleagues/props, and a couple outside sources, I've got some stuff to process now which I need to do privately and am not comfortable disclosing online, but I think I'll take to my psychologist next appointment.
I have an easy day tomorrow as my manager is away, so that will make it so much less stressful

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Overly Emotional Over NOTHING

@Bee That's fair Smiley Tongue.

That's great to hear that you got to see your old manager! Always good to have a familiar face to see for support Smiley Happy

That is something I can empathise with. You do what you need to do Smiley Happy

Seize the day alright haha Smiley Very Happy

Re: Overly Emotional Over NOTHING

@Milkninja222 yeah my old manager is amazing, it was so good catching up with her Smiley Happy

I went over some of the stuff with my psychologist and I'm feeling a little bit better about some of it. Some of it still hurts just as much, but other bits have gone into the meh point in my mind.


I'm struggling not crying when I communicate with my new manager. I'm either in tears or trying really hard not to cry. It's so emotionally draining. I'm also highly anxious around her. I am scared to approach her if I make a mistake or ask for clarification on something I'm not 100% sure of.

Does anyone have any suggestions for the above?
I've been focusing on self-care and trying not to take it personally as my old manager said, but that's so hard - I don't exactly know how to not take it personally.
I am focusing on my breathing, telling myself I am okay, but it only does so much..

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Overly Emotional Over NOTHING

Hey @Bee 

 

I'm glad to hear you're feeling a little bit better about some of the things that you've been struggling with. It's also really lovely that your old manager has been able to give you some advice too Heart 

 

I'm hearing that you're feeling really worn down by having to go through such big emotions at work. It's important to feel that you're safe at work, after all we spend a lot of time in our places of employment. Like you, I can find it really hard to communicate about difficult things without crying. There's a few ways I've dealt with this... 

  • This one is hard but I really try to allow myself to feel my emotions. If I'm crying it means there's something that is happening inside of me and as much as sometimes I want to squash it away I know that it's better to make friends with my sadness/anxiety. Giving myself a few moments in the bathroom to let the tears come out, take a few deep breaths into my belly and tell myself it's okay to feel scared or sad. After that I wash my face with cold water, look at myself in the mirror and practise a little affirmation like. "I can face this day even though I feel scared/sad/worried". 
  • If the above is too hard or not helpful I use email as a way to communicate. It can help to make sure that you've understood things properly, give you a chance to formulate your message the way you'd want to. Also then there's a paper trail of what you are trying to achieve at work. You could even use the following line in order to clarify things you're not 100% on. "Following our meeting today I'd just like to confirm that I've understood my responsibilities correctly.. XYZ" 

I hope those suggestions help - I can see you're doing your best to stay calm at work. Continue your breathing and positive self talk Heart