Overwhelmed and Stressed
I'm having difficulty in learning how to grow up.
My mum is under huge amounts of stress so most of the time she struggles to teach me.
I'm 18 years old, poor as all hell and trying my best at juggling social life (as in i have 0 social life), bills/finances(I have no money), my own goals and aspirations and even learning to be an adult.
It felt like just a week ago I had to still ask people in High School whether I could go to the toilet or not and now its like, "well you're out of school, i guess its time we dump your entire life-choices on you now"
Everythings so confusing and frustrating.
I'm just not doing very well, it seems like im always taking one step forward and five steps back.
I feel like I'm getting nowhere and life is just passing me by.
It's already been 1 year out of High School and I still havent got my sh*t together.
Everything is just so overwhelming and I feel angry and stressed all the time.
I'm just not coping very well.
Also I'm having to deal with needy people all the time, my nan (bless her doe) keeps wanting things from me.
It's like everybody has all these expectations of me and I don't know how to do it!
Also I've noticed i'm not really like I used to be, I'm no longer really happy-go-lucky, its like life has just sucked the joy out of everything.
I wanted to be an adult so bad when I was little.
A example of the joy being sucked out is my birthday, it's around the corner (next week) and It's just getting to the point where I don't even care.
It just makes me think people are going to put more pressure on me and i dont see the point in celebrating something that marks me just getting older.
I'm kind of just starting to hate everything and I have hardly any motivation to get out of bed in the morning.
I ...don't really know what to do from here, im a little stuck...and a little lost.
Got any Advice or similiar cricumstances?
Re: Overwhelmed and Stressed
Adulting can be quite difficult and quite confronting. I assue you even at the age of 24 I still haven't got it all figured out. It does get easier though, just take your time and enjoy life. With your financial issues, there are free financial counsellors that can help you learn to budget and pay bills. You can find a local financial counsellor here.
How would you feel about talking to a counsellor or a psycholgist about how you are feeling?
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Re: Overwhelmed and Stressed
I think people grow up because of their circumstances and because they have to as a coping mechanism. That is why you see some children act twice their age and adults who cannot even take care of themselves. But they are not the ones to blame, it is not their fault that they grew up too early or too late. You do not have to force yourself to go through the changes, it will come. Life makes sure that everyone gets to a functional level of adulthood at one stage or another. Think about it this way, all your friends around you seem to have hit puberty, growing and changing, but you are still left looking like a child in a sea of adults. No matter how hard you try you still seem to go nowhere. But then you start noticing gradual changes after a while, your voice gets deeper, you get a little taller, and soon you have caught up to your mates. Though everyone knows the basic procedures of puberty, no one can exactly say how it affects each individual because the psychological and mental change is unique to everyone. There is no one set of criterias as to what an adult is, you just have to follow along your own path and when you become an adult is when you can feel that what you are doing is right, and that you are happy with the person you have become.
Yes, everything can be overwhelming as people expect you to know what you are doing and be prepared for life. But to be honest, you can never be prepared for everything, and it is highly hypocritical to say that to become an adult is to have everything sorted when there are adults out there whose lives are in shambles. Take your time, ignore the pressures, better to take things slowly and do it right, then to rush it only to regret your choices later.
Sometimes you just have to put yourself above others, it is fine to be selfish sometimes. Do not become a "yes man/woman" and do something because you want to do it, not for someone else. After all, it is your life, so do not let others live it for you. It is a wonderful thing to take others into consideration, and caring for others is no doubt a virtue, but do not let it weigh you down. Care for yourself first, if you cannot care for yourself, how can you care for others?
Happy Birthday! I think the reason why people celebrate getting a year older is precisely because they are fortunate enough to live a year more. Some people have their lives cut short without ever being given a choice. No matter how painful, being given the time and chance to live, to be given the opportunity to experience simple things is something worth celebrating. Even amidst the storm, there is still a moment of calm and sunshine. That is why birthdays are special, it reminds you that being alive is better than dead.
If you need more motivation, think of the things that is wrong with this world and how you can change it. Life can be long, it can be short, but you can never predict when things will end. When it does, what do you want to be remembered for? What do you want to achieve? Every morning, think about how you can get one step closer to your goal and make use of the time you have left before it is gone. Being lost is fine. Start with small things then build it up. Go with your instincts. Cultivate a garden full of memories, so that you may leave the vegetables behind.
All the best,
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