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Panic ! At the Bistro

So I started year 12 this term and to celebrate the principal wants to take out my class for lunch. This is a cocktail of my worst nightmares. Firstly, taking the bus there. Everyone is going to be loud and excited and I am going to be FREAKING OUT because of SENSORY OVERLOAD. Then,  actually eating. I will need to eat something that I didn't make, that isn't a safe food, and if there are sausages or steak or something like that I probably won't be able to physically eat it without gagging, and even then I don't think I would be able to finish it. Then I will need to talk to people for a solid. three. hours. which is stressful enough on its own. And the whole time people will be sitting around me and seeing what I'm doing. I don't think it is possible for me to make it through all that and not have a meltdown, but my mother is pushing me to go and said that if I don't she is going to stop paying for my tutoring for school and won't help me buy practice UCAT exams. I am feeling already overwhelmed and I'm not even there, I don't know what to do. 

Re: Panic ! At the Bistro

Hey @Blurryphaced sorry to hear this, it does seem very stressful for you Smiley Sad

I remember when my class got taken out to eat, and I felt embarrassed to eat in front of them and dreaded having to talk to people for a couple of hours, so I understand how you felt in those ways. The way I coped with this was to focus on my friends, and the people who I felt comfortable with, and gave myself some breaks to recharge myself. I would go to the bathroom when I could feel myself getting overwhelmed, and just stand in there for a couple of minutes to help myself calm down. 


With taking the bus there, is there any way for different arrangements to be made for you? Such as your parent dropping you off, or you going by yourself somehow? When you are starting to feel yourself overloading, what things help you to combat that?


With the food, maybe you could talk to your principle and explain this anxiety, and ask if you are able to bring your own food, or even a copy of the menu in advance so you can get an idea of what the place has to offer. 


I'm so sorry that your mum is threatening you to go, and that it makes you even more worried. Have you been able to explain your worries to your mum of why you are hesitant to go?


Is there anyone for you to talk to at your school to help make arrangements that will help to lower your anxiety levels? School therapist, a trusted teacher, or even your principal?  

Re: Panic ! At the Bistro

Hi @Blurryphaced,
I'm sorry that you feel stressful and I can definitely understand how you feel. I also feel embarrassed when I go to the social setting and I feel that everyone is looking at me because they think I'm weird. (well, I am definitely an introverted person and having social anxiety).
@sunnygirl606 have mentioned good suggestions with your concerns, and I think you can have a try with those suggestions. I am also wondering do you have a close friend in the class, perhaps having a friend stay with you and talking you throughout the lunch will reduce your stress.

Re: Panic ! At the Bistro

Hey @Blurryphaced 


Aw, I can understand that it is really stressful for you! I really think @sunnygirl606 gave some really good suggestions. Have you tried to talk to your mum about your feelings and anxiety surrounding this situation? 


I think that you could talk to her and let her know the things you have told us, if you haven't already. Let me know how things go! We're here to support you Heart

Re: Panic ! At the Bistro

Hi @Macaria, I am really sorry that you feel that way in social settings Smiley Sad It must be so challenging and upsetting to face those thoughts. Is there anything you do that helps when you are in that situation?

Re: Panic ! At the Bistro

School excursions can be so stressful @Blurryphaced. Smiley Sad I remember when I was in Year 12, I went to a funeral with some people from my class, which was so upsetting, and there was also another one where the class went somewhere else without me and I was left on my own with no idea where they were.
I also have a similar issue as you where I can't tolerate certain foods, especially ones from restaurants or takeaways. I had that issue on an excursion once and ended up taking my own lunch and explaining it to the teachers, who were understanding. Maybe you could get a note from your parents to give to them too. You could also ask the restaurant if they can make something for you that is safe for you to eat.
Would  it help to wear headphones or earplugs on the bus?

Re: Panic ! At the Bistro

Hey @Blurryphaced , I just wanted to check in and see how you're feeling about everything today? I think you've had some great suggestions from people here - do you think checking out the menu first, or bringing your own food, could help a bit? It must feel really frustrating that your mum is taking a hard line on this, do you think you'd feel comfortable chatting to her about how you feel, and how overwhelming everything is for you? 


On a side note - I also just wanted to say that this is one of my all time favourite thread titles Smiley Very Happy 


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Re: Panic ! At the Bistro

Hi @Blurryphaced,
just wanna pop up to see wether things are going well with you. How are you feeling right now? Are you still overwhelmed? And did you find our advices useful? If you are still feeling bad and having some problems, please feel free to post it! We are here and support you! (hug)

Re: Panic ! At the Bistro

Hi @Blurryphaced! I hope you're doing well Smiley Happy I don't have anything to add that the others haven't said but I wanted to say that I LOVE the title of this thread haha! gave me a good laugh - I'm sure the others feel the same too!