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People from the past.

@loves netball and I were chatting about people from the past. Specifically people that have either hurt us, or that we feel we have hurt as well as wondering if these people ever think about us when we may feel they no longer care.

 

How does everyone deal with overcoming pain from the past, in the present?

 

 



Re: People from the past.

@Bree-RO I avoid going places that trigger memories about those people. To be honest I don't know how I go to uni. Last year I went to a dinner for uni and there were people there who work with the people who really hurt me. The whole time I wouldn't talk to anyone, scared they would say something to someone about me

Re: People from the past.

@loves netball this is something I find really difficult and something that has come up for me in the last couple of weeks during this particularly hard time. Thanks for opening up this conversation.
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: People from the past.

I think at the moment my letter writing is helping me with accepting the past and that I got hurt by somebody who was supposed to be protect me
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: People from the past.

I admire you writing the letter @j95. I personally couldn't do that, not yet at least.

Some of the people who hurt me threatened me. The best thing I did was blocking all on social media and then staying off facebook for months. I still refuse to use instagram.

I've thought about drawing out charts that could be useful if I was to ever openly talk to someone about everything

Re: People from the past.

@loves netball @j95 it sounds like really painful stuff, but I am recognising in both of you steps to help yourself be at peace a little more. It's quite amazing really, even though it hurts, you guys are honouring yourselves in my eyes - well done. Smiley Happy I should take a leaf out of both of your books!

Re: People from the past.

It ain't easy...
But I have been able to protect myself by putting boundaries and limits in place so that someone who hurt me can't see me or contact me anymore
//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: People from the past.

Oh but @Bree-RO it was all my fault I got hurt. It's my fault I have a PD not others

Re: People from the past.


@loves netball wrote:

 

I've thought about drawing out charts that could be useful if I was to ever openly talk to someone about everything


I think that would be a really great place to start, @loves netball Smiley Happy


My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ

Re: People from the past.

I find letter writing helpful too @loves netball @j95. I don't even have to send the letter. For me, I think it's more the act of getting the feelings/experiences down on paper rather than in my head...

And I have to constantly tell myself that I cannot change what the person did to hurt me, but I can choose to move on. Sometimes it's way more difficult than other times, that's definitely true. I think that a focus on more healthy relationships and reminding myself of those can kind of counter the difficult past ones, if that makes sense... That's just my personal experience, anyway. 

// Spiral outward, keep going. //