cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 
Highlighted

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Andrea-RO  I am still feeling bad and i am having a really hard time with just the idea that i might have to take meds long term. I never wanted to do that and i hate taking them and honestly i am struggling to even just accept that I have a mental illness like i know everyone keeps telling me i do and i do mostly trust my psychs but idk why i just keep thinking maybe they all made a mistake and i am not sick and i dont need meds and i am just making it all up or maybe it really is all real or i am just weak or something idk how to explain it and there isnt really many people who I can relate to like i have a few friends who get it but idk it is hard to explain i am just really struggling with a lot at the moment. 

Highlighted

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

No, no, that makes a lot of sense @Eden1717, and I really get where you are coming from. I have a couple of mates who have needed to take anti-psychotics in the past, and I know they have also really struggled with side effects, particularly when they have had to take them long term. It isn't an easy time and you are definitely not weak for either needing them, or for finding the side-effects frustrating or difficult to deal with. Have you ever tried speaking to other people who have been diagnosed with psychotic related disorders? Even if you don't really resonate with the diagnosis, other people who have may have had similar experiences to you, which may make it easier to talk about and feel understood. Maybe you can write down some of the things that you agree with your psychs about, and some of the things you don't and then bring those to your next session to talk about? I am also happy to talk about other things here with you as a distraction if you need Heart

Highlighted

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Andrea-RO  i have a few friends who have psychotic related issues but idk it is just i feel like even if i talk about this with people it doesnt make it easier like i can go over and over it with my psychs and stuff but it isnt the sort of thing that evidence is helping with it is more an internal thing that refuses to fully accept that that is an issue. i dont know why but it is really stressing me out because it makes it even harder to take the meds and then when you add side effects it is just super difficult to take them. this is just taking up so much of my head space and i cant stop thinking about it. i havent been able to do any uni work today which i really needed to do and everything is just a huge mess. i also keep feeling like i am about to start crying for no reason and i am trying to just listen to music but it isnt helping much. i just feel so off today and i cant explain it. 

Highlighted

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

That makes a lot of sense, and it does sound extremely frustrating that it's just this guy feeling that's hard to be swayed. Do you think it's a feeling that might pass or fade a little with time?

Highlighted

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Andrea-RO  I don’t think it will fade with time it has just been getting stronger over the last few weeks and doesn’t seem to be going in that direction at all. 

Highlighted

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

Hey @Eden1717 

 

Having so much doubt about your diagnosis must be really hard to deal with. It sounds like you were really consumed by it yesterday. Has there ever been a time where you were even slightly less consumed by it?

Highlighted

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Maddy-RO  there have been some times where i didnt care I think this time it is because the feeling is directly linked to having to take meds i dont want to take. like if i wasnt taking meds i dont think it would matter. like for me to be ok with taking the meds which i am not it would take a very good reason so me being even the slightest bit unsure if i actually need the meds or bot is making it really hard to take them which is why i cant get this out of my head. 

Highlighted

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

Sounds like you have been experiencing a lot of different thoughts lately @Eden1717. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you right now. I think talking to your psychiatrist or psychologist about the types of thoughts that you have been having lately would help. Do you think you would be able to talk them about this soon?
Highlighted

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Sophia-RO  even if I tell my psychologist and psychiatrist they will just say i still need the meds they are both very sure that i "have to be on medication" they say otherwise I get very psychotic and end up in hospital. i am trying to trust them but it is hard everything still feels very uncertain to me. 

 

 

I found out some really bad news today and i am really upset about it and it is making me super agitated and on edge i dont even know what to do anymore everything i have been working for was for this and now everything it ruined the being were right and i should have just trusted them now i am trapped. 

Highlighted

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

Hey @Eden1717, I'm sorry to hear things have been so tough for you lately around medication and uni Smiley Sad Did you want to talk about the bad news you found out today? I hear how trapped you're feeling right now and you've put in a lot of effort for this thing- it's really understandable to be feeling down and agitated about it. There are usually other options you can take- I don't know what this bad news is about though, but I hope you don't feel too hopeless about this cause there's ways around things Smiley Sad