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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

Hello @Eden1717, it is a shame that you are still feeling horrible and that you did not get much rest. It sounds like things are full on for you at the moment, I can't imagine how difficult that must be for you. You mentioned that something happened that has left you feeling scared and as though you need to dissapear. Would you like to share a bit more about what you mean by that? Are you feeling safe today?
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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Sophia-RO  I dont really feel up to talking about details and idk i thought i was feeling safe this morning and i dont like have any plans but now i dont really know how i feel like i dont feel either safe or unsafe somewhere in the middle but i guess if i am honest i dont have the energy to do anything dangerous so unless you can get physically hurt from crying i will probably be fine. 

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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

Hey @Eden1717 it sounds like things are really shit at the moment, and you must be feeling so exhausted. Do you think you'll be able to get some rest tonight?

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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

Hey @Eden1717, things sound so horrible for you at the moment, I'm sorry you didn't get much rest last night Smiley Sad What do you mean by something happened and you don't feel okay to eat or take your medication (If that's okay to ask)? It would be dangerous if you suddenly stopped your meds and stopped eating, as I'm sure you know. When are you next seeing your psych? I know stuff is really intense atm but it won't be like this forever- we really want you to be safe. Do you think you might have taken on too much all at once while you were still recovering from hospital? You're holding yourself to such high standards and it seems really stressful. What do you think? Finding balance with stress, sleep, nutrition/hydration are all really important to stay well, and you know that.. It sounds like you're not doing as much self-care as you need to be, so it makes sense as to why you're feeling so exhausted at the moment Smiley Sad
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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Hannah-RO  I am not sure i doubt it though 

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  I cant really explain what happened i just tried to eat dinner and now i am freaking out and i dont know what to do about the meds and i have completely screwed up uni and i have been crying all afternoon/evening and i tried a helpline but it didnt help and i want to scream although actually i already did that twice and i just hate the fact that i screw everything up and i really dont know what to do my house is a mess but i cant get my head organised enough to clean anything and i am not drinking enough water but it is too hard and i tried having a nap but i couldnt and i dont know what to do nothing is working to make me feel any better and i dont even have time to rest anyway but idk everything is fucked. 

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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

Did something happen when you were eating dinner? I'm a bit confused sorry Smiley Sad It's okay if you feel like you've screwed up uni, we all mess up sometimes (well we all mess up quite a lot, but that's apart of being human I guess!). Is there anything 'constructive' you could learn from this instead of beating yourself up over it? I know it sounds cheesy but mistakes can be learning opportunities? As long as it leads to trying something differently in a positive way and you don't blame yourself for it (because it's not your fault!)

Can the uni stuff be sorted out with some help from your psychiatrist or something? Stuff has been really difficult for you lately, I don't think you'd get penalised if you had to retake a subject (I know this sucks as an option, but hopefully that would reassure you that uni is not screwed up, there are ways around it).
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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  i dont feel like i screwed up i did screw up and i there is nothing i can learn from it except that i should have never thought i could do it to begin with. I dont think anything can be sorted out i just want to disappear 

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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

It sounds like things are really complicated and messy at the moment @Eden1717. I can tell that you are doing everything you can to try and make yourself feel better. It sucks when all the usual things that make us feel better aren't working. I have got to log off for the night.. but I hope you can find a way to give yourself even a small moment of peace tonight Heart I know you have found talking to your friend helpful before.. is that an option for you?

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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

Hm that's not really a positive learning point to take away from it, it still sounds like you're unfairly blaming yourself @Eden1717! Failure is always subjective so we can only ever say we feel like we've screwed up Smiley Tongue, I think you just did the best you could and that's all you can ask for. How are you going today? When are you next seeing a professional support person?
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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Taylor-RO  I cant talk to my friend they are too busy

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  today is terrible i have managed to screw up even more things today.

 

i am so exhausted and no amount of sleep is fixing it. i am still crying all the time and i am honestly considering just quitting everything.