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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

Hey @Eden1717, I'm glad to hear you've had such a great day - seeing your friend and feeling passionate about languages and noticing how beautiful the night and surroundings are can really be a mood booster! And I'm extremely happy you're feeling so in touch with life at the moment. It does feel good to feel alive! I feel absolutely terrible asking this but your last message about running round the house and stuff has got me wondering if maybe you're starting to feel a little manic? Like not wanting to sleep and stuff too? I just thought I'd ask and check in because I want to make sure you stay safe okay?! It's amazing you're feeling so good but please keep yourself safe! And as hard as it maybe be, maybe even try and do something a bit calming and relaxing? Like what about listening to some soothing music while you wait? I mean, I love to throw on the tunes and dance the night away too but we also don't want you going too crazy and wearing yourself out!! Just please stay safe. I'm happy for you but also slightly concerned.. 

 

Also, I completely understand and respect it is a secret and you're not meant to say anything. But if you ever do want to, I am here to listen. I actually don't know if I've seen the meme you're talking about.. would you feel like sharing it with me so I can get a bit of a better idea? 

 

Also, let me know if you ever get round to watching the movie cause I'd love to know what you think of it! Just remember what I said and that it may possibly be triggering okay? I think it's quite well done but it does go into his recovery and manic episodes etc. So just keep that in mind if you do watch it! 

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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@MB95  Idk if i am a bit manic or not like if i am honest i find it kind of hard to tell sometimes and like the last time my psychologist said i was manic i didnt even think i was manic at all so like it is possible but i really dont know for sure. i know last year the only time i ever did any uni work was when i was manic and i have been doing some uni work and i do feel kind of magical and i do want to go exploring in the night and i do feel like i want to talk to people a lot and i do feel like kind of busy but idk. so like maybe but idk. like i still feel weird but like confident in a way idk i just feel like i can feel everything and i tried calming music and it was the same because i could feel it so it still made me like energised. i just have to not go out tonight because i have a lecture tomorrow and cant get distracted and end up on the other side of town. i will be fine if i stay inside.  

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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

How did you go last night @Eden1717 ? By the sounds of things I feel like maybe you are starting to show signs of a manic episode? Just by how much is going on? And how talkative you are? But it's hard to tell because we obviously can't see you in person and are also not health professionals! You could also just be happy and feeling alive which I know I get occasionally and cause I'm so not used to that feeling it's like I want to get up and do everything all at once? It does feel amazing!! Just remember to keep yourself safe and stay aware how you're feeling okay? ❤

Did you end up doing any painting? What sorts of things do you often like to paint? Like scenes of places or people or objects etc? 

I haven't painted in so long but you make me want too! I painted some pots a little while ago and was really enjoying that, like to put plants in! 

Hope your lecture goes well today and you're able to concentrate on it!!

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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

Hi @Eden1717, just wanted to check in around how you're feeling today? Sounds like you had a lot of energy last night, did you manage to expel it at all?

Hope your lecture goes alright today Smiley Happy

 

Also think it's very cool that you and @MB95 both paint! I cannot paint at all but I do enjoy Bob Ross a lot.

bob ross inspiration GIF

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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Hannah-RO @MB95  I didn’t end up painting because I couldn’t decide what to paint but I like painting lots of things but I guess mostly animals and landscapes. Painting pots would be fun. 

 

As for how I am today idk similar to yesterday I guess I didn’t sleep until like 6am and didn’t sleep for that long. The problem with staying aware of how I am feeling is that I already kind of am not sure and last time when I was in hospital cause I was manic I thought I was fine and kept arguing with the nurses and doctors that talking to trees and angels and thinking you have magical powers was completely fine and normal, so like sometimes I have very different opinions to people and they will say I am not fine when I feel perfectly fine and ok and even if I know something isn’t normal for other people I may still think it is ok for me to be doing/experiencing. Like now I feel weird but I don’t feel like concerned but at the same time a lot of things are happening that people seem to get concerned about when I tell them about those things and I feel like it is fine but idk it is hard to know. 

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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

Hey @Eden1717, yeah, from what I've heard mania can seem perfectly normal and even kinda nice for the individual experiencing it- I mean from what I've heard mania is where you're super revved up with energy and motivation and an elevated (or irritable) mood right? But I'm sure you know it can be super dangerous for the person experiencing it because they can do things they wouldn't normally want to do and put themselves in unsafe or risky situations because they can feel invincible? So we just want to make sure you're safe if you are actually experiencing mania
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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  hehe I do feel a little invincible Smiley LOLSmiley LOLSmiley LOL idk lol I am trying very hard to just stay at home and not go anywhere because like realistically I want to go exploring in nature and connect with the earth and stuff but like I could end up anywhere if I went out to do that so I am trying to not do that. Idk I just feel all shiny and sparkly like everything is glittering and is all brightly colored and I feel like I keep like unlocking secrets to the universe like all these things keep connecting and merging and like everything kind of makes sense. Idk I know you guys can’t diagno me or anything and I am not asking for that but I genuinely cannot tell with any certainty if I am manic or not right now because I feel fine and even if some stuff is happening that happed the last time that might not mean anything so I really don’t know. As for my safety I am trying my best to be as safe as I can be but again what I think and what others think may be different so I guess it depends what you think is a risk or not. 

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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

hehe I do feel a little invincible Smiley LOLSmiley LOLSmiley LOL 


oh no that does sound a little ominous... @Eden1717 When are you next seeing your psychologist? 

 

As for safety, that is hard- if you feel like doing something you normally wouldn't do maybe that's a sign you should check with someone else? Things like going off walking and getting lost or walking at night time are definitely not safe! Not sleeping much at all isn't so good either but it can't be too dangerous?

 

Things that are risky... That's a long list Eden1717.. Examples include driving recklessly, drug/alcohol abuse, talking to strangers, spending all your money on stuff/gambling, putting yourself in physically dangerous situations (like walking at night!), getting into fights because of being irritable, not being careful- eg. running around where you have the potential to injure yourself, doing something you might regret later (e.g. something humiliating or harmful). My mum has had manic episodes in the past so I've heard of some of these things.

 

If you're not sure about something you can always check with us?

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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  well i have only done a few of those things and it wasnt even that bad, idk i feel like stuff i wouldnt normally do well like yes i am doing some things i wouldnt normally do but like it is still ok i am being careful mostly. oh the psychologist um in a few days and i think idk i just feel very busy you know but i just i want to go places and see things like nature things like lakes and rivers and trees big big big trees and i want to go stand up high somewhere and just feel the air omg the air i almost forgot about that hahahaha that will be fun for later maybe after my lecture today if i only go to one place each day then it should be fine right? i did buy some expensive stuff last night but i will use it i am sure of that and oh maybe i should take my painting stuff and go do some live painting that would be so cool. but wait would would i check in with and when would i check in with someone like is it really doing something i wouldnt do if i am about to do it. also i guess i could check with you guys but that cant include the stuff i cant talk about because that is still not allowed to be discussed, but i guess i could run my plans for outings past you guys.  

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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

Running plans past us sounds like a great idea @Eden1717. Hopefully seeing your psych will be able to determine what's going on at the moment. Oh no no no, please don't go stand up high on big trees, that's really dangerous! You could fall! Smiley Sad Painting sounds fun. What kind of expensive stuff that you will definitely use did you buy (I've heard that people experiencing mania can buy stuff they think will be useful but coming out of it it wasn't worth it so just checking)?