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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@MB95  Haha haha that is like the opposite of what my psychologist said she said she doesn’t trust my judgment lol. We had chicken. Um I don’t really care if she thinks I am manic or not but she said she was a little concerned that I was going to do something that she wouldn’t think was safe but I didn’t tell her anything so it is all good but idk I am very nervous now because she said she would talk to my psychiatrist and I think he is going to want me back on my meds and that is a big nope right now. But I am feeling really weird tonight like really on edge and I want to go outside and walk around but also I did a little before and that was interesting because everything looked funny hehehe but idk what to do I keep wanting to yell at people lol. Oh well. There is some magic in the air tonight hehehehe ahhhhh I feel weird. 

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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

It makes sense you wouldn't want to go back on the meds @Eden1717 Smiley Sad Oh no, why do you feel like yelling at people? Would you say you're feeling a bit irritable?
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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  yeah I am feeling a little irritable idk i just feel like something big is about to happen and everything feels all dreamy but not like dissociation. maybe things are moving faster than i thought.  

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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

That must feel weird- How much faster are things moving? @Eden1717
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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  it is weird it is fast and slow at the same time and i think time is not right like it is not the same. I feel really weird i tried calling a helpline because i started freaking out about having to take meds before and now i just feel worse like i should just run away and hide and never come back and also i feel like things are happening that are weird idk i cant explain it something is just off maybe i should just pace for a while. 

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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

Pacing sounds like a good distraction @Eden1717. Sorry the helpline wasn't helpful and you're feeling worse Smiley Sad Did you want to talk more about that?
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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  I basically said i was scared i was going to be forced back onto medication and the guy was like "maybe just accept that it will happen" and like i get what he was saying that it is something i cant control and that if they want to i wont be able to stop them from doing that but at the same time it has made me really freaked out and now i keep thinking that like all my treatment team is actually trying to kill me and that i need to run away and that i screwed everything up like i know i havent because i still have time and it is sunday tomorrow and no one is working then so like i at least have a day but like it is had because i am not even going to be able to like sleep and not think about this all freaking night and ugh idk i just feel very pressured to do things now and i dont like what the guy said on the phone. 

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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

Awh that definitely wouldn't be very reassuring, I can see why you'd be scared and wanting to run away. It must feel really scary thinking your treating team wants to kill you and I can see why you'd feel pressured to act on things now Smiley Sad Hopefully you'll be able to get some sleep tonight though, could you try some of your coping strategies?
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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  I am trying them already but i am so wired they arent really working very well like i cant settle at all and idk it is just difficult like i am just feeling super paranoid at the moment. i think it also isnt helping that i have been stuck inside all week and havent been out much like i need to go out i think but now it is already late and idk i just feel weird 

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

How are you going this morning @Eden1717? Did you manage to get any sleep?