Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

[MB95]

Would screaming on here help @Eden1717? I know it's not real physical screaming but @Lost_Space_Explorer5 started doing some the other day and found it helpful lol We could always get the screaming thread contest going if you think that might help at all?! 

It must be so frustrating feeling like you're unable to live independently. Are you still with your parents at the moment or back on your own now? 

As for the meds, I really don't know I'm sorry. I truly wish there was something I could do or say to help but I'm not so sure there is. I will always listen though ❤ It's great to hear you talk back to those thoughts, it's just such a shame the paranoia type ones take over. They SUCK. 

[Eden1717]

@MB95  I don’t know if screaming here would be helpful.... I am on my own at the moment but it is complicated. I just want to stop taking the meds and lie and pretend I am taking them and then everyone could be happy. 

I am still feeling bad and idk what to do I haven’t had a meal all day and I don’t think I will because I have nothing and don’t have the energy to go out and get anything and I am too tired. I  am trying to keep it together but I feel horrible and I tried calling a helpline but it didn’t really help and idk what to say anymore everything is just too much, 

[Andrea-RO]

I totally understand where you're coming from @Eden1717, medication can be extremely hard to take at the best of times, let alone when you actively don't want to take it. I know that a couple of months ago you were on medication for a little while, and you had said that it did help you, especially with helping quiet some of the voices you've been hearing. Do you think that this current medication might help in the same way?

Is there any chance you would you be able to order some food off a delivery app? I also find it hard to eat when I am feeling shit, and while I wouldn't say that it magically makes me feel better, it does stop me from feeling worse 

[Eden1717]

@Andrea-RO  it has made the voices a little quieter but the thing is like i still think there is a device in me and that the medication is just being used to make the device work better and so i dont know if it is helping or if it is just making the device work. my psychologist says to give the meds more time but i dont know. I dont really have the money to order food at the moment. 

I am trying really hard I am but everything is really difficult. i feel like i am not idk how to explain it. I am just really confused as well like my psychologist will say that a lot of these things are delusions but they feel so real they are so real to me and i dont know what to think. like is my psychologist just trying to trick me or is she right and i am wrong like i know that some of my beliefs are different to other peoples but that doesnt make them not true right? i mean i just dont know my head feels very muddled. 

[Lost_Space_Explorer5]

Sorry taking the meds is still so hard @Eden1717 But it sounds like they've helped make the voices a bit quieter? That's a good thing right? It's very difficult when looking a beliefs versus 'delusions', like there is just so much to consider. What do you think about making a list of objective evidence you have to support your psych's beliefs versus your beliefs? (so like for and against) Do you think that could be helpful at all? Sorry I'm not much help

Could your mum help out with the finance situation so you can afford food delivery? Or is that not an option?

[Janine-RO]

Hey @Eden1717 , 

It sounds like it would be really hard to keep taking your meds if you're having those thoughts about them helping to make a device work better, I really feel for you - it frankly sounds pretty shit. I hope that having the voices being more quieter is bringing you a bit of relief . I know that some meds can take awhile to start to take their full effect, has your psychiatrist given you any idea about what you might be able to expect with that? The food stuff sounds really hard- are there any easy snacks you could get to keep at your place when eating is all a bit hard? I've started keeping some cut up veggies and dips in the fridge and a bunch of those soup pouches in the cupboard for days when cooking is all a bit much - do you think anything like that could help? 

[Eden1717]

@Lost_Space_Explorer5 @Janine-RO  idk like the voices being quieter is good but also weird. I looked up how long the medication takes to work and the official website says up to 6 weeks I have only been taking it for just over 2 and idk if I can keep going for another 4. Plus I just found out one if them is expensive. I really don’t know what to do and I still feel really bad today like worse than yesterday. 

[Hannah-RO]

ughh that really sucks that they are exxy @Eden1717, and it must feel quite daunting that they take 6 weeks. Sorry you're feeling worse than yesterday, would it help to chat through about what is going on for you today? Have you been up to much?

[Lost_Space_Explorer5]

Ugh I'm sorry the meds are so expensive, that really sucks. Are there any ways around it, especially since you're on an order? I'm sorry to hear you're still feeling bad

[Eden1717]

@Hannah-RO @Lost_Space_Explorer5  there is no way around the price of the meds. 

I am still feeling really bad today i am trying so hard but i feel horrible and i cant deal with this like i honestly cant manage to do anything i wasnt able to shower or brush my teeth last night or even get changed i just laid on my bed all night and cried my home is a mess i have no food and no energy to go shopping i am struggling to do even basic tasks i need to email uni but i havent even been able to do that i want to scream and everything is too much i cant take this i cant i am so tired but nothing is helping and i just everything is not ok.