Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

[Eden1717]

@Lost_Space_Explorer5 @MB95  thanks 

I hardly left my bed today nearly cried but then didnt even have the energy to do that still feeling terrible and having bad thoughts that i wont go into ugh i was going to write more but now i just dont hve the energy. 

[Lost_Space_Explorer5]

Awh I'm sorry today sounds like it was even worse than yesterday It's okay if you don't feel like you have the energy to write. If you were keen to get support you could even do dot points!

It sounds like you're so exhausted at the moment Are you feeling okay with managing these bad thoughts at the moment? Did you want to talk more about them (even in dot point form)? Just want to check that you're feeling safe tonight

[MB95]

Totally with you on the no energy front @Eden1717! I'm sorry you're not having good thoughts, like @Lost_Space_Explorer5 said, if you feel like dot pointing we can try and help that way. Have you got much of a plan for tonight? 

[Eden1717]

@Lost_Space_Explorer5 @MB95  thanks I am just feeling super overwhelmed like i literally didnt get out of bed until after 2pm and then i got dressed and just got back into bed and have been laying around in bed ever since either listening to music or feeling like i am about to start crying but not being able to start crying because i feel to weak. 

*TW*

I thought about self harming which i havent done in over a year and i keep thinking about doing it but i dont want to start again. 

[Lost_Space_Explorer5]

Awh that sounds so intense Sorry you're having such strong urges right now.. What are some strategies you've used in the past to distract yourself? @Eden1717

[Eden1717]

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  Idk I am listening to music and have been watching stuff on youtube and playing games and stuff but idk i just feel so like heavy it is weird. 

[Andrea-RO]

Hey @Eden1717, I'm glad that you're listening to some music/watching YouTube videos. Did you want to tell us a bit more about what you're listening to/watching? Maybe we can help distract you by having a chat about them until you're feeling a lil more tired and ready for sleep

[Lost_Space_Explorer5]

Yeah I think I get that feeling- it's so uncomfortable and just seems to persist This might be a weird question but what is the need behind the SH urges? E.g. is it to feel something, to punish yourself, to get some emotion out, to feel in control, to distract, etc.?

Sometimes by figuring this out we can target some helpful coping strategies towards the source of what you need right now. I'm sure you know this though I think it's from DBT haha

Not sure if this is too many ideas at once haha, let me know if you just want us to listen rather than give ideas for coping. My counsellor sometimes gets me to describe what this 'heavy feeling' looks like. To sort of describe it as if it was a physical presence. That helps me sometimes, what do you think of trying one of these strategies?

[Lost_Space_Explorer5]

Oh also good job on trying to distract with music, youtube, and games It can be so hard to ride out the waves that come with these urges

[MB95]

I'm sorry to hear you're having thoughts of self harm @Eden1717. I'm also gonna hang round on here for a little longer if you need a chat or distraction. It's such a tough and heavy place to be in, but we are here to listen and help as best we can okay? 💙