Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

[Lost_Space_Explorer5]

Sorry you didn't get any sleep and there's so much going on for you right now @Eden1717 I'm not much help at the moment but will be on the lighter part of the forums (games and stuff) just chilling if you want some company there

[Taylor-RO]

I am sorry to hear you are feeling all of those things @Eden1717 - it does sound like a lot to be dealing with. Are you waiting to hear back from the case manager and public team tomorrow? Either way, feel free to let us know how it goes. I can imagine it would be stressful to be waiting around the whole day for a potential call

[MB95]

Is there anything you want to talk through regarding tomorrow? Maybe about how you're feeling or what's worrying you the most? Happy to chat for a bit if you're around! 

[Eden1717]

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  thanks 

@Taylor-RO  i dont know if they are going to call tomorrow or some other time through the week or if they are even going to call I have no idea what is happening they just said they would have a case manager for me "next week" but that could mean anything. 

@MB95  i dont know it is really complicated and i dont know how to explain what is going on and i keep trying to write it down in my journal and then i cant and for some reason i keep thinking that if i write it or tell anyone what is happening that is if i can find the words to begin with that they will just laugh and tell me i am making it all up for attention so now i just feel like hiding everything and not telling anyone anything and i just feel really weird still and there is just a lot going on with the spirits and tomorrow is going to be a big day and i just feel very off and i cant explain it. 

[Janine-RO]

Hi @Eden1717 , 

It sounds like there's a lot going on for you at the moment, and I can imagine that would be so exhausting. Does writing things down in your journal usually help you process things a bit? Feeling like people would laugh at you or say you're making stuff up sounds like an awful feeling You mentioned that today's going to be a really big day, is that because of the call you're waiting for from the public team, or is there other stuff going on ?  You've mentioned that the spirits want you to do things for them, is that part of the pressure you're feeling? 

Also I just wanted to let you know I'll be sending you an email as well, so keep an eye out for that

[Eden1717]

Well someone did end up calling but they weren’t very easy to talk to they just said try taking the meds again and that it wasn’t a big deal and I told them I didn’t feel like I could and they just said nothing, I also told them a lot was going on and they said they didn’t need to know unless I was at risk of hurting myself or someone else. They just said call back if I felt like I wasn’t ok. they said I seemed fine even though I wasn’t feeling fine and idk how they can tell how I felt over the phone but whatever they said I see the doctor in 2 weeks so I guess I won’t be hearing from them again until after that. They still didn’t tell me if I had a case manager either. 

@Janine-RO  writing things sometimes helps me process stuff, today is just going to be a big day  because a lot is happening. I don’t know how to explain it. 

[Janine-RO]

Hey @Eden1717 , hmmm that doesn't sound super helpful - sorry to hear that they weren't very easy to talk to. We're here if you feel like chatting any more about what's happening for you today, totally get if it's a bit hard to explain though. 

What are you up to today? 

[Eden1717]

@Janine-RO  I dont know I have been doing random things all day. I dont know if i can chat about what is going on. 

[Lost_Space_Explorer5]

Ughh still no CM and an unhelpful call That's really frustrating and not the first time the community care team have let you down right? @Eden1717 What kind of random things have you been up to? (if you don't mind me asking)

[Eden1717]

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  I just want them to be straight with me like i dont care if they arent going to be there for me but i dont want them to say one thing and do another i just want to know what is happening. ugh anyway i have mostly been watching netflix and pacing i did some cooking as well idk. 

ugh i am still everything is just really weird and i am still struggling to explain it and i just feel really off and i want to scream and i just i dont feel right. i am trying i am but there is nothing i cant i dont know what to do and i just keep getting confused about what path to take and who to trust and i am so incredibly agitated i cannot even describe it properly things are not i cant explain it.