Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

[Lost_Space_Explorer5]

Hey @Eden1717, I'm sorry you're not getting any rest and are still feeling bad How's the anxiety been today?

Hey @musicfan_xo, I noticed you said the same thing on my thread and I just saw your post on your thread. It sounds like you're being very self critical and things are really upsetting at the moment but I'll respond in more detail to your most

[Eden1717]

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  thanks, the anxiety has been bad still and everything is kind of a huge mess but i dont think that will be changing anytime soon. 

I am trying really hard to distract myself but it isnt working very well and my eating issues are getting really really bad where certain foods are really scaring me again and anyway everything is just a huge mess and idk what to do like i am scared all the time and i saw my psychologist and i just couldnt really express myself properly like i just couldnt and now i am frustrated with myself and everything is just nothing feels right. idk how to explain it. i am just feeling very on edge. 

[Lost_Space_Explorer5]

@Eden1717Oh no I'm sorry the eating issues are getting so bad I'm worried about your safety- are you physically going to be okay? If I remember correctly, you've had issues around eating for some time and people haven't given you the help you need but it sounds like it's especially bad at the moment? I just ask because eating stuff can be really dangerous (as I'm sure you know) and I want you to be as safe as possible right now Have you talked to one of your supports about it recently? Is there anything they can do to help 'minimise' any potential harm to your body? Not that I would encourage disordered eating, but it's like with SH I guess, if it's going to happen anyway, we want you to be as safe as you can about it?

Sorry you couldn't express yourself properly to your psych, it happens Did you try writing anything down because I know you've suggested that to me in the past? (I think anyway lol). It's really understandable to not be able to explain what's going on to a support so don't beat yourself up about it, okay?

[Andrea-RO]

Hey guys, I just wanted to say that I'm really proud of how you approached this situation I am glad that you were able to talk things through and share where you were coming from @Eden1717 @musicfan_xo @Lost_Space_Explorer5 

[Andrea-RO]

@Eden1717 that does sound extremely exhausting and stressful - I think I remember us talking about a similar issue you were having a couple of months ago, and we spoke about you potentially writing down how you feel and either emailing it to your psych or bringing those notes to your next session. Do you think that would be an option this time at all?

[Eden1717]

@Andrea-RO  thanks yeah i did try writing a note but it didnt help. 

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  I am physically ok at the moment I did talk a little about it to my psych but not much I am trying to be as safe as i can with it. yeah i tried writing my psych a note but even with that i didnt feel like i was able to express myself properly and i know that happens sometimes but it is frustrating for me because i feel like it happens a lot and it isnt anyone elses fault i just feel like sometimes i just cant translate things properly from my head and i want to be understood but then i screw it up. idk anyway it is something i need to work on. 

ugh tonight is getting hard idk why like i am trying to just watch this show that i like and just chill but it isnt going well and i feel really agitated and off and i just cant settle. idk what to do anymore. 

[Andrea-RO]

I'm really proud of you for trying to calm yourself down right now @Eden1717, I think I know that sort of thrumming anxious energy that you've mentioned, and it makes it hard to feel settled or relax. Is there any chance that you could do something creative like writing or drawing right now? I totally understand if not, sometimes creative stuff doesn't really work for me either - we're also happy to just listen if you want vent as well

[Lost_Space_Explorer5]

I'm glad you're trying to be as safe as you can @Eden1717 And yeah I understand, I get frustrated with myself too because I struggle to open up with my supports. It sounds like it's more that you can't put into words what's going on but you're really trying Have you tried another way, like drawing how you're feeling? That's just an idea lol but I think some people find it helpful Which show are you watching?

[Eden1717]

@Andrea-RO  idk i am not really in the headspace for that kind of thing right now. 

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  idk i feel like drawing it would be even harder. I am watching hells kitchen lol.

i am still feeling very weird I am not sure if maybe this is all because i suddenly stopped the meds again but that did happen a few days ago like i actually didnt mean to i just kept forgetting and then it got complicated because i am meant to have them with food and now i just cant but either way i feel very very very strange, but idk it might not be the meds this feels too extreme for that.  

[musicfan_xo]

@Eden1717 sorry I got upset earlier, I just felt like no one appreciates my help and I felt a bit excluded. And by no one, I mean thats me putting myself down. I try to be kind and include people and I feel like no one appreciates it, even people off the forums. Like I said it's none of you, it's just me. I'm sorry if I upset any of you, I wasn't trying to do that or cause an argument. I'm sorry