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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

I'm glad to hear that you already knew two of your classmates, and that the rest of the class were nice @Eden1717 Smiley Happy It's always a bit more comforting to be surrounded by people who are pleasant and kind. 

As for your NDIS coordinator, maybe help with basic tasks like cleaning could be a good place to start. It might also be a good idea to have a chat with your psych and ask them what sort of things you could use from the NDIS, and help you prioritise and articulate what you need to your coordinator?

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Andrea-RO  Idk it is hard I just find communicating with the ndis really tricky and tiring. 

 

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  My favorite subject is Japanese. Yeah it was just a really weird feeling to sit there and have everyone talking about their mental health and being like even in an area/topic I can relate to I am still not welcome and still have to hide. And some of my friends now are supportive like I have some friends I met in hospital that are ok with it and know about it and they are ok but anyone I didn’t meet in hospital doesn’t know anything about my mental health issues so all my current uni friends don’t know about it at all. So I can’t say if they are supportive about it or not. I get the impression they would be ok but also I thought that about my old friends too and they all just never spoke to me again after I told them I was in hospital this one time. I will check out the thread. 

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

Ok so I did check out the thread and it was good but kind of quite triggering for me and now idk I feel weird and it brought up a lot of feelings about what happened at the hospital and how I just cannot seem to process that no matter how hard I try. And it is annoying me because I should be able to move on but I just can’t seem too. 

 

Also on a completely unrelated note these freaking bugs that keep crawling on me are driving me mad and making me itchy and I want to scream it just won’t stop. And I am so tired but I still need to make some dinner cause I didn’t yesterday and I just I can’t deal with everything I just I can’t I am trying so hard but nothing is enough. 

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Eden1717 Sorry to hear that the thread brought up some unpleasant feelings for you. When you say you can't seem to move on, what do you think is stopping you from doing so?

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@hunginc  Idk exactly I think I am scared that it will happen again and that no one will ever believe me and that my only options now are suffer or stop existing, it makes me feel like I can’t go to or live in my home town because anything I do could send me back there to be subjected to even more abuse. It makes me feel like I have to try even harder to hide what is going on and to blend in because now any public mental health services don’t feel safe in any way shape or form it means I don’t have options for crisis support. It is just that now I feel even more trapped than before and I feel even more pressure than before. Idk it is hard to explain. There are lots of things. 

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

Oh god I'm so sorry that thread triggered you @Eden1717 Smiley Sad I wanted you to know you weren't alone but I didn't think Smiley Sad Are you okay? I'm sorry all the stuff about what happened in hospital has come back for you. What happened there wasn't okay and it makes sense all of these worries would come up for you. Is there anything I can do? I'm sorry I recommended a triggering thread 😢

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Lost_Space_Explorer5  It’s ok it isn’t your fault. 

 

 

Ugh I just had a bit of a breakdown because my computer still isn’t working and that means I can’t get any of my uni work done and that on top of all the things crawling on me and just everything else as well I kind of lost it a little and now I still feel awful actually I feel worse and idk what to do. Everything is too much. 

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

Hey Eden,

I'm so sorry this time is so rough for you, I really feel for you with everything that is going on. Having your laptop break right at the beginning of the uni year is so brutal and I can really hear how distressing things are right now. I’m glad your class yesterday was really nice, but I understand that it was tough feeling like you weren’t able to be open about your own mental health in the discussion. That is really hard, we are here to support you <3 What have you got on today?

I also was just reading about what you said about your NDIS support, I totally get that communicating with them is complicated and exhausting Smiley Sad Do you think maybe someone could help you with communicating with them? For instance could your psych or someone in your life come to your NDIS meetings?

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Eden1717 It can be disheartening especially when medical professionals don't believe you. Sorry if my posts in that thread triggered as it was not my intention. If you need someone to talk to, I'm hear to listen 

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Hannah-RO  I don’t have any one who can help me talk to them. 

 

@hunginc  It’s ok it isn’t your fault. 

 

 

 

I have been crying all afternoon and i did something stupid which I knew was a bad idea but I did it anyway and now I just feel horrible. I keep thinking I have managed to stop crying then it starts again. I am so tired and I was meant to study today but I just couldn’t and I just feel really horrible and sad and like I don’t know why I can’t just ignore it. And I am so incredibly sick of people misunderstanding me and not understanding how I am as a person and mistaking the reasons behind why I do things. And people constantly misreading me. I am an honest person and I don’t make shit up and I don’t i just I don’t like being in peoples faces and I am reserved and generally quiet with people I don’t know well and just because I don’t like to bother people with my issues doesn’t mean I don’t have any. Just because I don’t say when things are bothering me or yell back at the voices doesn’t mean they aren’t happening. I don’t yell at anyone not even when I am mad at people I just go quiet and disengage but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been hurt. I miss my pets and I miss my only safe space and knowing I can’t go back there really hurts and I just can’t stop crying and tried to do stuff that usually calms me down but it isn’t working and I just keep crying and it hurts I don’t know why it hurts so much. I am trying so hard to make a life for myself that I can actually tolerate but it is so hard and I don’t know if I can even do it.