cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Eden1717 People often misinterpret silence as everything is ok - when this is not always the case. 

 

Do you have any plans for the rest of the night? What's tomorrow look like for you?

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

hey @Eden1717, I can really resonate with some of the stuff you mentioned in a way. I get incredibly stressed and frustrated when people misunderstand me or don't listen - particularly when I have made a lot of time and taken great pains to be really clear and patient to explain exactly what I mean. It can be especially infuriating when people make assumptions about how you feel, or even try and downplay what's going on for you, or deny how you're feeling and try and use the fact that you didn't react in the way they expected as evidence. Did you want to tell us a little more about what happened tonight/this afternoon?

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@hunginc  Yes for me I am often silent when things are happening but people assume nothing is happening because I am quiet. 

 

@Andrea-RO I was stupid yesterday and read some of my medical records from the hospital and they were full of lies and made up stuff that never happened. And like I don’t care that the doctors are bad people but that stuff which is all full of crap is now permanently in my records and it shouldn’t be. 

 

 

I am feeling really bad today I spent all day yesterday crying and all night crying and I am so exhausted now and I just don’t feel right and I can’t explain everything right now I just feel like I am shutting down. I also keep having really bad thoughts about things I shouldn’t be doing and I am trying to ignore it all but idk how long that will last for. 

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

Hey @Eden1717, reading your medical records must have been so incredibly upsetting. I am sorry that you have to read things that are not true. It is incredibly unfair and it can be so discouraging. It may be a discussion for another time when you are feeling up to it, but it may be possible to make a complaint or request that your record be ammended. These are things that can take immense energy, so no pressure.

I feel for you and the crap day that you have had. You must be so exhausted after crying so long. Are you able to have something to drink? I know I get incredibly dehydrated when I cry. You also mentioned having some really bad thoughts. Are these just thoughts you are having or something you will act on?

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

Sorry I haven't been around @Eden1717. I've just been catching up on your thread and it sounds like so much has been happening for you! I can only imagine how much stress and exhaustion the move would have brought on for you, and not being in your safe place must feel very unsettling. I know when I don't feel safe, everything else kinda just goes out the window. Was there anywhere in your new town that you found you started to feel safe in the last time you were there that you could maybe try and visit? I know this might sound silly, but like my safe place is my uni library. I'm not from here either so find being at the library calming for me cause it's familiar and also cause my psychs office is right there. It's weird I know. But just wondering if maybe you have somewhere you might feel safe to go and hang out? 

 

I also just want to mention how much of a proud smile it put on my face to hear you opened up and sent your psych that email about some stuff from your past. I understand how unsettling it can be bringing up the past, and allowing yourself to be so vulnerable so bloody well done mate, seriously! I'm not great for advice atm, but just wanted to drop in and say I'm proud of you and hope things are a little easier for you tomorrow ❤ 

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@MB95 @Taylor-RO  Thanks I don’t have really have any safe spaces at the moment. 

 

 

 

 

I am feel really  bad lately everything is a mess and I was really disoriented this morning and like I didn’t know what was happening and then got kind of confused as to where I was like idk it was weird like I hadn’t left my apartment but I just felt really confused and it was really uncomfortable.  And then I had my phone appointment with my psychologist and I couldn’t really talk about a lot of things properly and idk she wants me to go back on meds but honestly I am too scared and I still kind of think she is secretly trying to kill me and now I keep getting scared that my neighbors are listening to me and can maybe even read my mind and are just there to watch me. I keep trying to think I am not that important why would they do this but I still keep thinking this. And I don’t who are actually people and who are not people and I just I don’t what to do anymore and they put a device in me and I don’t think it was ever gone they just got into my head and ugh idk how to explain it I just feel really agitated and not right and I have so many things I need to do but I am struggling to do them and I keep getting really scared and idk everything is just too much. 

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

Sorry to hear that you have been feeling bad lately and that you felt disorientated this morning @Eden1717. That sounds really overwhelming, you must be exhausted. It sounds like the session with your psych was difficult for you. Do you feel comfortable talking to anyone about these thoughts that you have been having and what you have been experiencing lately? Are there any activities that you could do tonight that might help you feel safe and a bit better tonight? Would you be able to bake something or watch some tv/videos?

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Sophia-RO  I don’t really have anyone I can talk to about everything. I tried cooking dinner and watching Netflix but it isn’t helping much. 

 

 

I am feeling really agitated at the moment and really scared and just not good and the beings want me dead and I just everything is a mess and they want me to do things and idk if I can do them I just I am trying to make everyone happy but nothing I do is ever enough and nothing in this place is real and they are just messing with me and I am still stuck in the time loop and I want to scream and I can’t everything is too much and I just I don’t know what to do anymore I am so tired but I can’t sleep and I just I don’t know how to explain it. I just really really don’t feel good. 

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

Hey @Eden1717, last night sounded really tough. I am sorry to hear that you were struggling to sleep and feeling really agitated and scared. It is good that you have been trying a few different strategies to get you through the night.

How are you feeling today?

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Taylor-RO  I am still feeling really bad. 

 

 

I didnt get to sleep until around 8am this morning and I am still really agitated and I haven’t been able to get any study done and I keep getting really scared and I just everything is too much.