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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

Aw @Eden1717 - you really can't catch a break, can you? I've just caught up on your thread and I can hear (or read) what a difficult time you're going through. It honestly sucks to read how hard everything is for you. I can feel how conflicted you are about taking the medication. I wish I could say something to make it all better, but if only things were that easy. Giving the medication 6-weeks to work is ideal but at the same time, it sounds like things have been hell for you, so I can understand why that would be so challenging. I guess this is obvious, but I'd just encourage you to continue speaking to your supports about everything.

 

You mention not having money for food etc. You live with your parents, right? Do they have anything in the pantry that you can eat? Even something small and quick such as a muesli bar, cereal, or a piece of fruit or something?

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Maddy-RO  no I am living alone at the moment. 

 

 

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

Hey @Eden1717 That's really frustrating with the meds. I'm sorry stuff is still so hard at the moment- I can really hear how much you are trying just to get through each moment. It must be so frustrating and overwhelming not being able to get those basic things you need to keep going. I know I always go on about your strength, but honestly you are so strong and resilient- we're all really proud of you and look up to you here..

Can we help at all with the uni stuff? How is stuff going with your new (and old) supports?

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

Heya @Eden1717, living alone is difficult in its own right, I have definitely been there. I can't imagine what it is like for you given you are feeling so horrible and struggling with completing tasks. I know things are crap right now and it is hard to give yourself permission to let things slide but it is ok to have days where you don't leave your bed or your house is a mess.


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Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Lost_Space_Explorer5 @Taylor-RO  Thanks I spent the afternoon yesterday crying and now I have a massive headache from it. I still don’t have any food and was going to try and go shopping but I haven’t been able to get out of bed or get dressed yet so we will see what happens. It has been almost 2 weeks and the service still hasn’t allocated me a case manager so other than the psychiatrist who I saw once I don’t really have any new supports as for my old ones I have to make an appointment with my private psychiatrist but I keep forgetting and my psychologist is the same as before nothing much has changed there really. 

 

I still feel terrible and I am so exhausted but no matter how much I try and sleep I still feel exhausted but it isn’t a physical exhaustion so maybe that is why idk I just feel like heavy and like someone is sucking all the life out of me. I am so tired from crying but I feel like it is going to start again. I have no money to get the things I need I have no energy to get the things I need I want to scream but I feel to weak to do that too. Last night I got scared that there was a demon living in one of the mirrors in the house and now I don’t feel comfortable walking past that room. I still haven’t managed to contact uni I still haven’t managed to do anything actually because apparently I am useless at the moment. 

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

Aw @Eden1717 - that sounds really tough. I can hear how exhausted and tired you are, and how much it is getting to you. The mirror thing must be so frightening Smiley Sad. It's concerning that you still haven't eaten Smiley Sad.  If you have a coles or woolworths near you, then you might be able to do your grocery shopping online and get it delivered if that's any easier...

 

I'm so sorry to hear you have so little support at the moment. Hopefully you are assigned a case manager soon. I'm glad you're posting here and keeping us updated with how you are. We're always here to listen Heart

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

Thinking there's a demon in one of the mirrors sounds so scary @Eden1717 Smiley Sad You're not useless! It's completely understandable that you haven't contacted uni, given everything that's been going on. I feel you with forgetting to make appointments, it can be so frustrating, and also calling someone can be anxiety provoking on its own.

I'm a bit concerned that you don't have money to get things you need... Did you want to talk more about that? Are you getting support from centrelink, etc?

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

@Maddy-RO @Lost_Space_Explorer5  I managed to get a little bit of food today but not much cause once i got to the shops it was very overwhelming and i couldnt stay there very long. 

 

I am still feeling really bad and i dont know what to do my head doesnt feel right and everything is too much and i just i dont even know plus someone online (not here) said something super triggering and i ended up leaving the whole chat group permanently because of this person and now i feel super weird like i just dont know how to even process it and it was so unfair of them to say something like that in a shared space. anyway i guess i wont have to interact with them anymore but it still sucks. i am also still having trouble with the meds and other stuff and idk i just feel like i am going to start crying again. idk.  

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

I'm glad you managed to get some food today- I feel you with going to the shops.. It's such a loud and busy place, with so much going on- when we haven't been outside in a while it can be even more intense, so it's completely understandable you felt that way

Oh no I'm sorry they said something really triggering Smiley Sad That's an awful thing to come across in a shared space... Was this another forum or something else? (Just wondering because maybe someone will report it so others don't have the same horrible experience reading it)

Did you want to talk through what they said? Or anything else? We're here to listen

Sorry the meds are still so hard to take Smiley Sad Crying sounds so exhausting

Re: Picking up the pieces and trying to move forward

It's good that you were able to get some food today @Eden1717, hopefully having something to eat will help you feel a bit better tonight. I am sorry to hear that you have been triggered by another users words and that you had to leave the group chat. That sounds like a really awful situation to be in. I think it is good that you were looking out for yourself by leaving the group, but it sucks that you won't be able to interact with some of the other users anymore. Are you able to chat with some of them separately in the future (if you wanted to)? Sorry to hear you are still having some trouble with your meds, have you had a chance to discuss any strategies with your psych that might help you feel a bit better about them?